Lost Potential

So, in the lit class I'm currently taking, we've read a handful of classic short stories and novels from the last few centuries. The latest one is now To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. If you haven't read this the narrative is.... boggling. Rather than follow any real rhyme or reason, it jumps through various character's minds, putting great detail to even the most trivial and mundane thoughts as they enter that person's head. I promise that's it for the literary analysis in my post, but I am going somewhere with this. About 90% of our class hated this novel, the style and form of it was just too messy and confusing. As soon as I figured it out though, I was like, this is my brain! All this ADD inspired nonsense is a perfect model of the randomness that is my thought process!

Well it turns out Virginia Woolf was rather mentally imbalanced herself. She suffered several breakdowns in her life and eventually committed suicide by jumping in a river. Now.....I'M mentally imbalanced. I have trouble fitting into normal society and normal values. I even suffer from the same loopy thought patterns as these famous writers. Why the hell don't I have some great literary or artistic mind? Unfair says I .

I can only guess that I'm just not crazy enough. My life is lacking that one particularly devastating hardship that would push me over the edge. And frankly, my friends and family aren't helping. You guys are either too insistent on keeping me not-isolated, or just too nice to me in general. At this rate I'll spend the rest of my long, somewhat enjoyable life working a real job, always having food and shelter, and possibly even getting married. I hope you're happy you bastards.