Pontificating

Man it has been forever since I wrote anything here. Our last few posts were about Andy, and I guess I just have not felt compelled to share my thoughts since we lost him this winter. In remembering Andy today, I'd just like to remind everyone to go out and live through your day with a smile; whether its a hard one or easy one, its what Andy would have done.

A lot happened in 3B Fantasy sports that I never wrote about. Mike won his second consecutive Dynasty Football championship and for that he is the first ever recipient of The Andy Minshall Trophy. That asshole also won the regular league. And he got engaged. Stupid happy jerk.

I lost the Dynasty Hockey championship to Ken, and he was awarded Zamboni's Cup, which shares time retroactively with Medium as he won last year. Pumpkin won the regular hockey league.

A lot is coming up this year again between many friends getting married, the 3B reunion being Ford's wedding, and a whole overhaul of participants for the Memorial Day Camping trip. Next year I might have to stay here and enjoy the coast.

I anxiously await September, when I get to move Nikkie down here and begin the great experiment of how many consecutive days she can tolerate me. I have it bet on somewhere around 12.

Prognosticate this... sorry, funny word!

So prognostication is not my forte. Well except in the survival football league where I am 7-0(!) None the less, I made projections based on averages of other projections in order to see who would finish where this year. If you use the actual rankings, records and points scored so far, I just sucked on that analysis.

This is not a bad thing as far as I am concerned, considering I am first and second in the two leagues. I think I’ll keep projecting myself to suck every year now!

And Newman buddy… yea, let’s fix that big zero OK?

Why bother playing? Grading the fanatasy football draft

So after feeling particularly horrible about my fantasy football draft last night, having scored the super sweet 14th pick in the swing position, I decided I should really take a look overall at how that horrible team I had pieced together stacked up. I began to think about a way to grade everyone’s draft, but outside of using my entirely unprofessional opinion, a way to do it mathematically, and give what I rate some credence.

A few magical seconds later I came up with this method: Using the Yahoo! projections, (which is based off of Rotowire) take every starter’s projected year end fantasy points position for a team, each divided by 16 for the games played, and add them up. This figure should represent an average points scored per week for that team. At the end of it all, I would have a rank of power per team, theoretically breaking down that team’s performance for any given week. A few players did not have kickers, so I gave them an average overall kicker score. Well, let’s just say this got interesting.


My horrible draft turned out not so bad after all. Only five of us crafted a 100+ point team, with my hot Cooley Wives coming in 5th. My co-worker Greg gets the top spot with 104.04, and poor old Scott didn’t make it to 90, with 89.65. #1 overall pick holder Mr. Ford gets a 96.52 good for 9th place.

So naturally, it was time to turn this to our Dynasty league. This took a slight bit more prognostication, and some players had not set their starters yet. I used the best number per position on a team, so if Drew Brees was a 350.00 and Tom Brady a 400.00, I put Brady in the QB slot. This league also has one more starting position than the regular league, and only 10 teams, so point totals were significantly higher.


Well there you have it. The rich got richer. Last year’s champ Swampy Drunk Donkeys of Fordy score a motherfucking 134.50. That is 17.86 points higher than runner-up Dave at 116.64. Poor Howie appears not to have improved his chances much on finishing ahead of dead last again, with a score of 105.53 good for last. Myself, well I felt pretty good about my chances this year, now… well, who wants to trade me some free agency money and draft picks?

Another interesting item is Newman dropping from 3rd to 8th. Obviously intangibles like bench spots are not a factor here, as Newman’s “3 Great QBs” scheme does not equal points on the starter bench in this algorithm, where last year it proved strong when injuries and trades came up.

All told, this paints an interesting picture for the year to come, I think it is a fair guess at how everyone will finish, if you subtract manager skill, and give or take the free agent gems and injuries … not to mention those who fall asleep after week 6.

Can’t wait to come back in December and see how this draft score/projection worked out.

Fantasy Hockey Season Review and the State of 3B Sports

Well we bring to close another year, our seventh, of 3B fantasy sport activity. What began as dorm room smack talk has elevated to young professionals wasting time at work smack talk. We’ve seen a total of 30 players through 2 sports and 15 seasons played; this year being our inaugural Dynasty hockey and football seasons. Only Eric and I have been in every league holding the 3B title.

Where does the end of hockey leave us? First let me congratulate Medium on his first ever championship, finally getting out of his nasty 3rd place finish habit. His Sibir Novosibirsk are crowned our first ever Dynasty hockey champs, while Howie’s Dinamo Riga finish second after a ridiculous climb to the top of the regular season pile. Third place went to Andy’s Atlant Mytishchi, his third season in a row of scoring career points in hockey. Chris won as the 3rd seed, which surprisingly is not the lowest to ever have won hockey. In fact, the 4th seed has claimed the title 3 times. Korey has the honor of being our last place team and winning the Tavares lottery for next season.

In Traditional, Howie gets to play bridesmaid again, the first player to ever finish first or second in more than 1 season in a year. First place goes to Cover, securing his first ever 3B points in his 3rd season. Third place sees the always competitive Ken pick up another point.

The top of the 3B career points list didn’t change too much, Eric still sits first with 15, Korey second with 12, and Andy and Ken with 11. Howie did climb into 5th with 8 points, Chris into 7th with 7, and Cover leaps into 8th with 4.

Rookies this year include Jim Wolf in Dynasty hockey, and Brian Ardanowski, Amanda Horn and Sara Luichinger in Traditional hockey. Rookies in football this year included Dynasty runner-up Jonny Quinton and Greg Guy.


Performance percentage had a big shake-up with Cover claiming a title in his 3rd season. Ken remains above 100% with his point, while major movers were Medium with 4 points to grab an 87.5% and Howie’s double 2nd places moving him to the devil’s number of 66.67%. Naturally I dropped to 26.67%.

Next year promises to hold some excitement for us, as this summer brings our first ever offseason movement for our Dynasty teams, while Eric, Korey or Andy all have a chance to become our first ever 3 time champion.

And finally, how did my predictions go for the end of the hockey seasons? For Traditional I called Sara’s ilikebacon over Cover’s High Glove Side in the finals. High Glove Side ended up winning it all over Howie’s Winnipeg Jets. Sara lost in the semifinal. So I blew that one.

In Dynasty I was vague but kind of right. I called my Spartak against Andy’s Atlant if I remained healthy. I didn’t and as I guessed, Medium and Howie could have pounced in there. They both faced off in the finals and Medium won. My big mistake was calling Cover to miss the playoffs, as he made the semis and finished in 4th overall.

Once again, thanks for a terrific year of fantasy guys, congrats to our winners and enjoy the offseason games coming up this summer! As always you can see the history of all the leagues, career points and dynasty rules on our web page. Also please feel free to become a "follower" on the right side of the blog page.

State of the Union on 3B Fantasy Sports.. and Fantasy Hockey Predictions

Well that time of the year has come where fantasy hockey is about to turn into playoff fantasy hockey, and I am just fine with that. A few months ago our football seasons ended, and as I mentioned before, some re-ranking of our career players had naturally occurred. For the first time since then I have re-upped the Performance Percentage to see who has done the most with the least amount of effort… I shockingly remain an abysmal doofus.

The obvious outlying performer for now is Mr. Quinton, who in his first and only Dynasty Football season racked up 2 points for second place. His 200% is one of those rare anomalies we can document and appreciate, but will be astronomically hard to maintain. Outside of his above-par performance, Ken, Eric, and Korey maintain percentages above 100.

While Greg has only 1 season in which he won nothing, albeit he made the 3rd place game, there are no historically active players with a 0 percentage any longer. Newman’s big 3rd place finish gives him a round 10 percent, and Ford leaps several with a victory to claim 40 percent.

I think I will make some predictions for how hockey will end up at the end of the season.


In the Traditional hockey league, 3 teams sit above 300 points and 3 sit between 296 and 293. I think these 6; ilikebacon, High Glove Side, Hockey Team, O-Pee-Chee, Ohio Sucks!, and the Winnipeg Jets go to the playoffs.

ilikebacon is the most likely to win it all, probably going in as the first overall seed. Carrying Alex Ovechkin and Backstrom of the Caps, ‘bacon has over 10 wins in every offensive category save for shorties. So I think the finals will be the bacon over the streaking High Glove Side. My team, O-Pee-Chee, is too inconsistent to run the playoffs.

If ilikebacon were to pull it off, Sara would be our first ever female to score points or win a league.


On the Dynasty Hockey side, some very tight competitive play has seen I think 5 or 6 different 1st place teams this year. A favorite has to be New Andy’s Atlant Mytishchi. Andy is the current back to back champion of hockey, and in great form again this year, tied for 1st with Howie’s Dynamo Riga at 315 points. Atlant has the stronger set of players and goaltending for the stretch, and will make the finals.

It is a seven team race for the playoffs, with the 5th through 7th sitting on 286-284 in points. I predict the odd team out of the run to be the very dominant early in the season Avangard Omsk Oblast, managed by Cover. He’s just dropped too many weeks as of late.

Finals match-up, I think again Alex Ovechkin will have a lot to say, pushing my HC Spartak Moscow up against Atlant. Big big big big IF will be if Ryan Miller gets healthy. Goaltending injuries could drop me and Dynamo or Medium’s Sibir Novosibirsk may pounce.

We’ll see who is in the run in just about 3 weeks.

How Champions Move

OK I shall begin with an overdue pat on the back for my former roomie, Ninja Monk teammate, and new 3B Fantasy Leagues Career Points leader… Eric Goedtel!

Yes, with his Traditional Football league win, he thrusts (we can all picture him thrusting past Korey) ahead of Baby Bop by 3 points, 15 to 12. Ken (who placed 2nd on the season) and Andy sit tied overall in career points at 10, with Andy taking the 3rd ranking thanks to having 2 Championships to Ken’s 1.

Once again, this year we had three first time point recipients. Mike pulled off the inaugural Dynasty Football league win over newcomer Jonny, who gets 2 points for his first ever season, making him the leading percentage leader with a 200% value. Newman also secured his first point with a 3rd place victory in the same Dynasty league. And of course following my horrible semi-final choice of QB, I racked up a point for 3rd place in Traditional, giving me an astounding 4 points in 13 seasons, good for 11th in the rankings. No one can ever say this commish cheated.

So in evaluating our nerd prowess, my brother (who sits right below me at 12th overall, king of 3rd place finishes) and I pondered moves per season. Do champions draft well, manage well, or just get lucky with their auto-drafts and ignored rosters? Well I think soon I’ll break down that stat on a slow day and look at it. But here is some food for thought. Ken, when he won his hockey championship in 2005, had a 3B Leagues record of 83 ridiculous roster moves. In 2007 he finished second in the league and moved a season high, and 2nd over all for 3B, 62 times.

The lowest total of moves to ever win anything? Slick Nick’s 2003 Football team with 5 goddamn moves the whole year. His abomination of a team was 6-8 at regular seasons end. As the 7th seed he upset #2 Andy, #3 Eric, and #4 Korey en route to his stolen championship.

The lowest move total ever to have any kind of success was Bill Hard in 2006’s hockey league. With one brilliant move I wish I could see, he finished .500 on the season and took 4th place in the playoffs.

Six players in our league’s history have made zero moves on a season, all of them finishing out of the playoffs, and half finishing dead last in the leagues. Newman in 2003 Hockey, Newman and Dave in 2004 Football, Lindsay in 2005 Football, Pat in 2006 Hockey and Newman in 2007 Hockey. Newman my friend, there is some explanation as to why you took so long to get 1 point.

All of these fun point stats as well as complete archives of our leagues can be found on the 3B Fantasy sports home page. Food for your clickity click thoughts.

My only regret is that I have boneitis

Well, I have returned from vacation. Actually I returned from vacation a week ago and then died from a super flu and was reborn as a zombie later this week. I felt kind of like those brain blob guys from Futurama. The post title was totally a better and more fitting quote to start with, along with being overused on my trip home. Thats a fair sum up of how I have been feeling. As I get over mourning the loss of half of my vacation, I turn to reflection of a few things. Fantasy sports, hockey, and daytime television.

First, I must congratulate Mikey Ford for what was an astounding fantasy football season. Counting his playoff run, Mike went a ridiculous 14-3 on his march to Dynasty Football Champion for our keeper league's first ever season. It will be of great interest to see if he holds onto this kind of success next year. Another pat on the back to Newman for also finally getting off the mat with his first ever 3B league point with his 3rd place finish. For me, if you wish to go back a few posts and read my skepticism, I played Orlovsky and I lost. I could have easily waltzed into the finals with Romo, but no, I gain a tiny 3rd place point out of the traditional league, and mediocrity continues. I am the only 3B league player to invest over 10 seasons in any sport (16) and not have a championship. Guess theres always hockey...

Turning to hockey, I have two thoughts. I was generally against the Winter Classic for a few reasons, and I have a long way to go to be charmed over by it. Am I pleased by the national stage the Red Wings had to show their style of play? Yes. Do I think this game is going to continue to succeed year after year? Hell no. College football is meaningless now on Jan. 1st thanks to the national championship being jettisoned to Jan. 18th or some shit, so most of the nation doesn't care about what is on. For me and many of our readers, we did. The Spartans got to play in their first new year bowl game in forever, which led to an overworking of my clicker thumb as I flipped back and fourth. All of the people without a specific care that day could have tuned into the classic, however, and become new hockey fans. Fantastic. Imagine how disappointed they will be next year when its 65 and the ice melts, or a snow storm ruins the game. Failure will come and The league better see this for the spectacle it is and not a crown jewel.

Trudging on with my temper towards the NHL right now, lets look at the All-Star starters as determined by the "fans." One single Stanley Cup Champion? Hmm nope. The current best player and MVP? Hmm nope. A ridiculous 4 players from the host city, 3 and 3 from two lowly western teams, and the leagues poster child cry baby? Yes, yes and yes. The fan raping of the ballots led to 3 Blackhawks, 3 Ducks, 4 Canadians, and of course Sid and Malks. I guess the blame could rest on fans of real talent for not voting, but like others, I am just accustomed to merit allowing players to start, not how many times I texted my vote.

Finally, when sick and dieing, you get lots of TV time. I learned I have way too many movie channels, and there is a lot of Hayden Christensen and Daniel Craig on the TV tube these days. Oh, I also learned I have Tory lineage in my blood, cool stuff.

Ok, back to work and back to quality posts for the new year.

Peace.

On the shoulders of Lions

How desperate does a man have to be to put his faith in the worst?

This weekend I approach a rarity in my life… a fantasy sports semifinal. The 3B has a deep history of fantasy football and hockey, reaching back six or seven years now. Thanks to an over active geek-gland I track performance of the group across our four leagues. With our new Dynasty style leagues just now starting up, data focuses on only the traditional “draft every year” leagues we’ve had, but I have a table showing each participant’s “Performance %.” This stat is essentially based on a simple 1:1 ratio of career points against seasons you have played.


In our little world, if you finish first, you gain 4 points; second, 2; and third, 1. If you equal out to say 11 points over 11 seasons like Mr. E. Goedtel, you bat a perfect 100%. If you are a ridiculous overachiever like K. Firth, you obtain 8 points in 5 seasons for a 160% ranking. Now, bragging rights within the group really fall on how many points you’ve gained, making Baby Bop the top dog, but just like any sport with any geek fan fare, stats are fun to look at and this provides a unique way to see whom is playing better than whom.

Yes, dwindling down near the bottom (players with just one or two seasons omitted) is your brave author, with a pathetic 11 seasons worth 3 points for his fabulous 27.27%. Now I know the shut out of Room 312 will end this year with either Ford or Newman guaranteed at least 1 point, and they have not historically been finishers, but of all the people with 10 or more seasons, I just blow. I mean the next spot up is Damman with at least a full out championship and 40%. When you consider the drop off in seasons to the guy below me is 6, I am just not happy with my history of finishes.

So that brings me back to my point. How desperate do you need to be? Already eliminated in the Dynasty league, I take on my old roomie in the traditional football semifinals. I have three QBs on my bench this week. Mr. Warner is a legendary scapegoat in this league. He will always find a way to destroy you. Facing New England in a blizzard this Sunday is not the best match-up Mr. Warner and I could ever dream of, especially with one of his star wide outs gone. Mr. Romo? Yea he’s playing the #2 defense in the league, Baltimore. That should be fun. So who might I turn to? None other than Mr. Dan Orlovsky of the Detroit Lions. The kid threw for over 200 yards in his last two starts, couple TDs and is going up against a Saints team that only thinks offense. All the “pros” say he’s a hot pick this week, but good lord, a Lion? A Lion QB?

If I make this choice, lord have mercy on me.

Eric, here is your championship game invite.

This Football Season Is No Fantasy of Mine

Fantasy football. FANTASY football. You would think that something claiming to be a fantasy would be way more pleasant than what is currently happening in my football fantasy. At this moment I am bringing up the rear in one league, and I am third to last in the other. And my "good" team hasn't so much as squeaked by in each of my victories. My personal fantasy football moment involves more blow outs, less injuries, more offense, no bad players, and no bad management. Shit - I would even settle for more close games as long as I win. Fantasy. Instead I get football hell. The only blow outs occur when I am taking it raw. If a star players goes down, chances are I own him. If I don't own him, then he is probably the guy that should be passing the ball to my star receiver (fucking Tom Brady). If a player had a breakout season last year and was poised for great things, then I made sure that my guy was the one that proved that the previous season was, in fact, a fluke. And that leaves managerial errors... If Yahoo! predicts a my no-name running back or wide receiver to have a career making week because the player over shadowing him goes down or because he is playing the Lions, and this prediction influences me to bench my older future Hall of Fame player, then the chances are that the no-name player will continue to be a no-name player and the future Hall of Famer will have the greatest game of his life... while sitting on my bench. Fantasy. For about half the teams the season turns into a hellish mix of headaches and bad decisions... sort of like undergrad. A little less than half of the teams have season that ends with "I almost made a difference" or "I was so close"... sort of like life. And then there are the select few. Out the thousands that "play" each season, there are the champions. They made all of the right decisions: getting a lesser draft pick that meant you couldn't snag those super stars that had the worst seasons of their careers and instead had to settle for the guy that turned out to lead the league is everything, stumbling across a couple of free agents that turned out to be key role players (like the guy that runs for 21 yards and 2 TDs), getting his roster to play a nice mix "now you guys can take a break this week, but this means that you guys need to have break out weeks," and making sure his players stayed healthy all year... So you know, all of the things that they didn't actually have any control over. Fantasy. This game needs a new name. My fantasy would have more human interaction (because its more fun to talk smack in person), more money (I would be happy to sign a 10 year contract worth $2.4 million annually to play this game in Yahoo! over ESPN), and more cheerleaders. I would settle for each games' highlights to be reenacted by cheerleaders, but again this is my fantasy. *Sigh* Fantasy.

Fantasy Sports and Milwaukee '08

OK guys, some info on a few different things.
Those who took time to vote on the fantasy polls thank you. Here are some results to be digested…

60% of you think there should be fewer teams in a normal league than in a keeper league.
90% want smaller rosters in football leagues.
30% want no change in hockey rosters while 0% voted to shrink them.
72% would like to start keeper leagues fresh in the fall with whole new teams.
50% thought the ideal set up is a normal football and hockey league, with a keeper football league as well.
27% would like keeper leagues for both sports.
40% would pay $5 for normal football
27% would pay $10 for normal football
36% would pay $5 for keeper football
54% would pay $10 for keeper football
18% would pay something for hockey.

So I’ll think about and digest this over the coming weeks as should the more vocal people. I think we’ll stay at a 12 team cap for all normal leagues, and allow up to 16 for keepers, as strategy involving prospects allows for more maneuverability there.