Friday, January 16, 2009

Your Mass has an Effect on me

I am driven to review a game from last year, primarily because I did not review anything on this blog prior to a few months ago and this one deserves it. Now I tend to give my opinion on matters which I feel could help others make decisions, or experience something new/fun/life affirming. Far be it from me to ever expect a video game, album or beer to do these… wait… no, I think those ARE exactly what could change a life. So without further adieu, Mass Effect.

I completed M.E. in November of ’07. Lately I have been inundated with new games, so many in fact, a whole month was renamed. I still have quite a few on the shelf to play. Oh hello there Bioshock. Yes I know you were the game of the year in 2007. Yes I know I still have not opened you. Yes, Yes, whatever. For some reason, I have no desire to open the new ones, and since I cannot find NHL 2009 at any fuckin store in Baltimore, I went back to Mass Effect for a second go.

M.E. is what they now call an action RPG. Unlike a Japanese RPG, when you have girlish looking male characters that stand in a line and take turns combating opponents, an ARPG plays like an action game, while still giving you inventory management, experience points, and upgrades. Mass Effect presents a dizzying amount of each, for upwards of six crew members on your space ship. Yes, given that there is a space ship, this game is in space. Humanity joins galactic alliance, thing threatens humanity, you discover thing threatens the entire galaxy, you save the galaxy. Pretty simple.

Mass Effect shines and deserves my second play through, and maybe your first, for a few reasons. #1, there is hot human on alien sex.

Oh, you still need more? Ok, fine. The game bleeds dialog. Not only do you get the voice acting of the guy who did the Navy “Get a life” or whatever it said commercials, but you get a lot of really talented voice work saying hours and hours of words. This really does equal a complex story, and a deep universe back story. If you take the time to read the notes, listen to the characters, hours of game play can become hours of story time.

The universe is a fun, fresh take on space. I like the mechanics of space exploration, and species interaction. The story is mapped out in a way you can go do a lot of side things, or follow the main plot. It is nothing that has not been done before, but it made it feel unique and new.

The bad? Horrid pop-in graphics as each scene loads, really dumb driving missions, and idiotic enemy AI. The downloadable story missions from XBL were not really worth play either.

When all is said and done, Mass Effect is THE game that got me into RPG playing, and is worth a shot. It was worth me spending some lunch time writing about, and worth you picking up for $19.99 in the bargain bin.

Score: 4 out of 5 hot lesbian alien sex scenes