Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Like a movie but better cause it has a real bimbo

Where is Joe the Plumb… Reporter when we need him? It appears the financial crisis has broken the mind-goo of its first villain. This guy, Marcus Schrenker, was a big shot “wealth management” advisor who could possibly have to answer questions posed by the SEC (not the football conference) about shady happenings.

Mr. Schrenker, pictured there with his trophy blonde, fled the state of Indiana and attempted to fake his own death by crashing his plane in Florida. His one fatal flaw was actually showing his real drivers license to authorities when he emerged from a swamp, saying he was in a canoeing accident. Then he checked into a hotel under a fake name, and then split. He is now on the run from the government, with all of his assets frozen.

This would totally make for a bad ass Fugitive 3, or did they already do one of those? Either way, all we need is him to come out with some great line like “The kid with the glass eye stole your investments!” That would make a great movie.

In all reality, I hope this guy dies in the swamp. I think nothing would be more fitting than the assholes who ruined so many lives thanks to their greed, ended up offing themselves in ridiculous ways that provide the most entertainment for the populous.

Tune into CNN, MSNBC, or your favorite news channel with some popcorn and enjoy this one. It is like a free movie.

Details on the story via Gawker.

In further news, I apparently was bitten by a monster spider or something, and my elbow is like the size of a friggin baseball. If I die, cremate me and sprinkle my ashes in Joe Louis Arena. Do it! You would totally get on the news.