There is no excuse for me

I have been bad. I have not posted in forever. I am sorry to all three of you. Really though, I've been nutso busy and I have no excuse except that it involves work, friends, booze, cheap women, a classy woman, and sleep. I also jumped in a frozen ocean, but I'll let you sort that all out.

In lieu of a real post I give you this funny photo, and wish you a good night and week, because I won't be writing until after Medium and I visit the Red Wings in D.C. this weekend.

Maybe Damman will get off his ass and write something.

30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack: Raspberry-Kahlua-Nog

(30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack is a recurring feature which reviews a beer from the point of view of a guy who knows nothing about beer except for that he loves it. And it loves him. So go quench your thirst my friends.)

So as my first two 30lbs. segments pointed out, it is the season of holiday parties and festive beers. Well, at a recent holiday party I played the white elephant game. I have no idea why the game is called that particular name, all I know it as is "you get to steal someone else's gift and it is fun". Well I got to go very first, and this meant I was walking away with whatever gift I wanted at the end. You Better believe I took the alcohol. A nice little Kahlua gift set it was. Cup, liter, and some samples. So this may not be a beer, but gosh darn it, I have a holiday drink and I might as well review it for you. Now how did I turn Kahlua into a holiday drink? Eggnog! Just so happens I know a pretty simple recipe for some holiday cheer...

1. 2 parts Kahlua.
2. 1 part vodka.
3. Mix with Eggnog.
4. Stir.

Now for this lil drink I chose Absolute Raspberry for my vodka. I am one of those guys who likes raspberry and chocolate, so this works for me, Or I at least think it will. So how does this contraption taste? Well first off I put way too much vodka in, think I'll pour a little more eggnog in after a few gulps. Obviously the type of vodka and eggnog you choose will affect this taste incredibly, but my raspberry-Kahlua-nog is pretty darn tasty. The first thing you gain note of is the crisp taste of the absolute, as flavored abso tends to do. As you begin to swallow the Kahlua really kicks in and then the aftertaste is all owned by the eggnog. This is truly a hearty, sit by the fire and watch the snow fall with loved ones beverage. It is a little hard for me to get into the mood as it is 50 and pouring rain in Baltimore right now, but I can sit back and close my eyes and imagine the slush of Michigan... oh yea... there it is.

So obviously Beer Advocate is not going to review my eggnog contraption, but that is beyond the point. I hope you at some time this holiday escape from the shopping, the crazy family and nutso chaos, and steal some moments for the good old hearty holiday drink. If you go for the ras-Kahlua-nog, smile and think of me.

Happy Holidays booze hounds.

30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack: Season's Best

(30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack is a recurring feature which reviews a beer from the point of view of a guy who knows nothing about beer except for that he loves it. And it loves him. So go quench your thirst my friends.)

Ya know, I spoil you. Or you spoil me by reading this. Either way, let me reward you. Is there anything in life better than beer? Seriously? A significant other yells at you, sports hurt us, children cry. Beer loves you. Beer tastes good. In my constant search for blog relevance, I have added a second recurring feature this week, and it shall be known as 30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack. If you can't catch the metaphor there, you probably don't like beer. Yes, for you, I shall sacrifice. I shall endeavor to explore and search out new and tasty brews, even old familiar brews, and put my taste buds to keyboard for you. My review of such brew, shall flow fourth like the frothy head of... ok screw it, time to taste.

Today's beer is in the seasonal category. Winter truly is one of my favorite drinking times, and breweries never let you down. Saranac beers come from the Matt Brewing Company of Utica, NY. In the Saranac Holiday Sampler you will find this happy little beer; and that is what it is. A pleasant, easy to finish, fun to start, not too filling, not too weak beer. Described as a nut brown lager, Season's Best has a mild amber color and hint of caramel. It carries very little head and finishes just ever so slightly bitter, that good tinge of bitter finish you would get in a specialty Sam's. Real beer people would tell you that the finish comes from more hops or something, I will tell you that it is just plain good. This beer is 5.3% alcohol and Saranac recommends it with some good old pork or BBQ. I recommend it with more Season's Best, because you need be saving room for whats important... more beer.

Now because I love you, and I know I don't know jack about beer, I want to lend to you a real voice of authority. If you have never heard of Beer Advocate, thank me now, because I just made your world better. This website is a fantastic user generated review forum for beers, and for each review I shall throw in one from BA to give some actual knowledge to what I be saying. For Season's Best we tap into "wiseguy142" from Rochester, NY.

"Nut Brown Lager." Wtf. Ok I guess I'm excited, sounds pretty tasty and unusual. Just noticed the nice artwork on the label which I don't think I've been appreciating when it comes to the rest of Saranac's beers. Pours a nice amber brown.. maybe a little too similar to their ESB if they're trying to differentiate the two based on color. But good head and good lacing. Aroma is great, very perfume-y and piney, but it's either how it mixes with the rest of the malt or something else that makes it unique. Taste is a huge kick in the malt bone, if there was one. Astringency is very noticeable though, which seems to be a problem for Saranac's beers. The complex roasted malt flavors retain their integrity in the face of the lagering process, which was what I was worried about. I was worried it was going to be like the Indian Brown Ale and taste nothing like a brown anything, but it definitely pulls through. Unfortunately, the astringency is a huge flaw and affects my score significantly. Mouthfeel benefits form the overall malt character- medium to full body and really pleasant to drink. Probably a tie with the ESB for my favorite in the mix pack. Just fix that astringency, apply it to the other beers in the pack and I'd be really happy."

Thank you wiseguy142.

Ok, I have five more to drink and an airplane to catch tomorrow. Peace.

Karma is an asshole

Well didn’t this lil man just have an interesting night last night. Per usual, whenever my bad influence comes into town, shenanigans follow. With Korey suggesting this could be one of the last trips he makes to Baltimore, I ventured out for one drink that naturally turned into a few more. What can I say, I need booze to suffer through his dominance of me in all of the bar games we play.

Well fast forward to the Waterfront where we are playing billiards. As I humbly sit aside and watch Korey play some dude, I enjoy sips of Sam’s in between insults about my choice to wear a scarf. It was friggin cold alright? Then out of nowhere, like Wal-mart Wolverine on a price drop, Mickey descended upon me. Mickey can best be summed up as such: Over 40 woman, Iranian decent, decent appearance for her age if you like the skuzzy Balmore type who reeks of smoke and seafood. While draped over my shoulder, sniffing my hair and groping various areas, she informed me we were now pool partners, she was recently divorced, and she was horny.

Now normally I have a great sense of humor, I love when this shit happens to OTHERS, but tonight with the look in Baby Bop and associates’ eyes, I knew I had to suffer through this one for the team. So in between texts about getting man raped and drink after drink to make this situation a little more tolerable, I took solace in the fact that somehow, somewhere, Mike Ford was smiling.

Let us turn focus to the hilaaarious image accompanying this post. Yes my friends, the new Xbox experience is upon us, and my avatar has already bludgeoned Damman’s. This thing might just catch on. I am impressed for the most part. The system seems to run faster, information is laid out in a way which makes sense. I love the Gamertag and Game blades, which show information in an easy system, where before you had to dig through multiple layers to see what achievements could be had and were accomplished.

It will take time to see how it fleshes out in terms of user interaction, but party set up, and avatar games could add a decent Wii like influence to the console. Bravo M$, it took you four years, but you finally have an OS that makes sense.