Sweet Zombie Jesus, I need a subletter

Really? Seether covered George Michael? Come on, I know the world is supposed to end in 2012 or something, but this is a little too apocalyptic for being 3 years out still.

So I have great friends who offered to let me move into a wonderful situation, in a great part of Baltimore, for a great price. I could live the charmed life all summer and save a load of cash for my house I am hunting. Naturally life does not like me, so things are more complicated than just moving.

The long and short of it is I have a year lease expiring in September and I cannot get out of it unless I find a new tenant. I was lied to by a former employee and I failed to have any documentation to back up what kind of out clause I thought I had, and life sucks.

Lets see if my post can generate any renting interest. We’ll sprinkle a few key words here for search engines..

BALTIMORE
RENTING
APARTMENT
$960
1 BEDROOM
QUIET
ROOMY
SEX
BOOBS
MILEY CYRUS

That should be worth a few hits.

If you found your way here and want a pretty cool apartment in Elkridge, MD; comment already. I’ll leave my fire extinguisher and a 6 pack behind when I move.

Happy Easter to those who find some significance in the chocolate hording holiday… Ima go find me a Cadbury chicken and chain that mo-fo up.

Slightly more competent than three little pigs

First off, I have really enjoyed Newman’s series “Night Shift,” I encourage you to read it if you have not. The series is now available on the right side link bar along with a few others.

Now the topic at hand; I am attempting to grow up. The biggest thing a man can do in life outside of produce life, is put a solid roof over his head, and this is my goal this year. I currently sit in what I perceive to be a stable job, or at least comparatively to everyone else I converse with, more stable than average in today’s climate. I live in a community I have grown affectionate to, and I am sick and tired of throwing rent money away.

I have received more advice than I know what to do with on this situation. Advice from those who have purchased, and those who have done more research on purchasing than I, yet never have. The simple fact remains however, I know no one who has ever purchased in this violent economic climate.

Two sides to this issue are solid facts I, nor any opposed party can dispute: This is a fantastic time to buy, and I have absolutely no wiggle room financially if I fail somehow. The primary motivation for me to do this is long term benefit. I have in my current life, no real way to build equity and wealth. One way to naturally begin building that is to remove the $1,000 I dump monthly and $12k yearly into rent, and instead invest in a home I can return value on some day, thus building equity. This is the path advised to me by my employers, and this is the path many mentors have recommended for me. But let us break down some positives and negatives…

Pros of buying now:

1. Save equity versus wasting rent.
2. Build stronger credit.
3. $8,000 tax credit on my 2009 return.
4. Lowest fixed rate mortgages in a decade.
5. Best buyers’ market in my lifetime.

Cons of buying now:

1. I have a max of 5% to put down.
2. No cushion to fall on if I lose my job.
3. Foreclosure problems > missing rent.
4. Uncertain about career in 5 to 10 years.
5. No ability to run back home to Michigan.

So there are five for each. I tend to really like the pros, and do not fear most of the cons. I have a lot of faith in myself though, and always have. Quite honestly, I’ve always gotten by and overcome my hurdles and found a way, and feel I can here as well. I respect the cons though, so I list them and evaluate them. The biggest issue for me is not risk of foreclosure. I will have a total monthly due for my home (including tax) that equals slightly above my rent, keeping in mind my pay ticks up semiannually. My biggest issue is being locked into Baltimore. I love it here, but you never know. I am of the mind that this is one of the best job areas I could be in, with a doable commute to D.C. as well. It is certainly a better situation than Michigan.

I welcome your thoughts as I approach this, I am moving slow and heeding advice from professionals and from my friends. I think the advice I welcome most though, are the words from those who not only see the pros and cons, but also know the mental makeup of the one you affectionately call Fucko.

Doing it for the kids... even though it will mean I can't have kids

So I have a few posts I want to get out there before I run away and most other people run away for the holiday. This is probably the most important in terms of message and purpose, so lets get it out of the way. In some small way I attempt (read: ATTEMPT) to make the world a better place every year. My efforts are usually no more than a butterfly's flap of the wings in the big picture, but I like to do it none the less. This year, masochism seemed like the perfect choice. For the low low cost of however much I can get you to donate, I am going to run, not jump, and them fully submerge myself in the Atlantic Ocean on January 24th in Baltimore. (OK, so it is the Chesapeake Bay, no need to get bitchy over it.) Along with thousands of others, I will attempt to help raise a record amount of dough for the Special Olympics. My team, "Significant Shrinkage," Aims to raise $1,000 and we are only to about $400 now. While I am the leading participant at this time, I wanna be even more kick ass and do more. What the hell, I want to grovel at your feet more and tell you all what wonderful people you are for parting ways with your $5, $10, $500 donations.

Seriously, the Special Olympics is an important and needed event in this world. The economic crisis throws so many charitable organizations in risk this year, and they need our support more than ever. I would love for you to help with this cause, but even if you don't, try and help somewhere else. Donate your time to ring a bell for the Salvation Army, serve food at a shelter, or donate old winter wear and blankets for the needy. Me? I am donating my nuts to mother nature... and I would like you to pay homage to them in coin.

To contribute to my hypothermia, follow this link. Yes I promise pictures when it is over and I can no longer have children.

Mega Man is a real prick

Mega Man taunts me. I wrote that Dead Space was scary? How about a tiny 8-bit demon who laughs at you in your sleep? I think my "gamerscore" made me too cocky, or maybe the ease of games these days is to blame, but my 10 year old self would be ashamed. Mega Man 9, the "reboot" of the series on XBLA and PSN is old school hard. Rendered in beautiful 8-bit video and sound, it makes you shrink 2 feet (well for me 0) and act like a kid again. The game triumphantly brings back all the nostalgic habits of your retro gaming past. Button mashing, edge of your seat screaming at the TV, cookies and Mountain Dew... yum. Every Mega Man game to me from 1 to 5, was really just the same. Yea, new bosses or gimmicks, but puzzles run together and themes kind of get stale. It was what it was though and you played for the joy of the familiar. That past day is so old now, it really isn't familiar, but a friend I am happy to reacquaint with now that winter and video game season is setting in.

5 out of 5 "I'm never getting far enough in this game to rate it"'s.

In about a month I'll be writing my top five albums of the year again. I have been pondering what I really liked, what I missed, because honestly I know I've missed a bunch no longer being around radio operations. I try and listen to several different indie feeds and I know when my favorites of the genre are performing anew, but obviously some will slip through the cracks. I need to fill up on a few new tunes before my plane rides this holiday season kick up. Suggestions are much appreciated.

And now, several fractured thoughts from a tired mind: Personally, I am really excited to get home for Thanksgiving. Shit has been weird around these parts lately. I've had struggles at work, however I am in a happier and much more productive mode now. Stress is still high but I think I have evolved and am dealing with it much better than before. Training wheels have rusted off kid. Personal life continues to baffle me. Hockey season ended with a heroic playoff drive and victory, but now I'll be on the shelf for awhile so I can heal my back. And let us just say, outside of "Mickey", boy have I hit a cold streak.. ouch. Guess I need a hair cut. I really wanted to finally move downtown into this loft right next to Camden yard, but nothing was available in the size I wanted; the waiting shall continue. Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind was on to something I think. I would like a cheeseburger. Maybe a coke... eh lets make that a beer. Happy Sat night all.

Karma is an asshole

Well didn’t this lil man just have an interesting night last night. Per usual, whenever my bad influence comes into town, shenanigans follow. With Korey suggesting this could be one of the last trips he makes to Baltimore, I ventured out for one drink that naturally turned into a few more. What can I say, I need booze to suffer through his dominance of me in all of the bar games we play.

Well fast forward to the Waterfront where we are playing billiards. As I humbly sit aside and watch Korey play some dude, I enjoy sips of Sam’s in between insults about my choice to wear a scarf. It was friggin cold alright? Then out of nowhere, like Wal-mart Wolverine on a price drop, Mickey descended upon me. Mickey can best be summed up as such: Over 40 woman, Iranian decent, decent appearance for her age if you like the skuzzy Balmore type who reeks of smoke and seafood. While draped over my shoulder, sniffing my hair and groping various areas, she informed me we were now pool partners, she was recently divorced, and she was horny.

Now normally I have a great sense of humor, I love when this shit happens to OTHERS, but tonight with the look in Baby Bop and associates’ eyes, I knew I had to suffer through this one for the team. So in between texts about getting man raped and drink after drink to make this situation a little more tolerable, I took solace in the fact that somehow, somewhere, Mike Ford was smiling.

Let us turn focus to the hilaaarious image accompanying this post. Yes my friends, the new Xbox experience is upon us, and my avatar has already bludgeoned Damman’s. This thing might just catch on. I am impressed for the most part. The system seems to run faster, information is laid out in a way which makes sense. I love the Gamertag and Game blades, which show information in an easy system, where before you had to dig through multiple layers to see what achievements could be had and were accomplished.

It will take time to see how it fleshes out in terms of user interaction, but party set up, and avatar games could add a decent Wii like influence to the console. Bravo M$, it took you four years, but you finally have an OS that makes sense.

Teenage guide to popularity

So I guess this lil blog, for some ungodly reason, has over 1,000 hits. Cool enough, cool enough to be asked to join this site called VerveEarth. They link blogs based on geographic location. So maybe I'll try and write a little more. Maybe more about Baltimore? Maybe nothing.. hmm lets see.

I'll tell you a couple things. Super computers are cool. I just picked up my custom made 3 ghz core 2, 2 gig ram, geforce 9600 graphics card. I like this stuff.

Something that I don't like? Well maybe I do, but I was very startled by it. 1,000 pirates in the streets of Baltimore this past Sat night. Drunk, very drunk. I don't even begin to know what to think.

Home is where the beer is

I moved here on August 20 something as far as I remember, making it just about 4 months of living in Baltimore as far as I can figure. I guess I've crammed a pretty good amount into those months considering I was damn near on my death bed for one of them completely. Lessons learned:

I am happy I didn't take the leap to NYC without a job, watching the cost of living on the east coast dissolve any fiscal security I had made that very clear.

Without Zamboni I may have very well gone insane from living completely on my own for so long so far, it is not an easy adjustment for a social one like me.

Big cities are neat, especially their bar scenes that have actual authentic Irish in their Irish bars.

I need to move into the actual city and out of it's suburb, I'm far too young for this.

The women here are A) less attractive than the old college girls on a whole, and B) almost always accompanied by some form of guido.

I miss Detroit sports.

I miss hockey.

People here lift their windshield wipers up in the air if they think the temperatures call for frost in the morning. This one caused me to bust out laughing.

Too much time on your own, too many beers, and your pants don't fit.

Lessons to be noted and recalled someday as if I were a notable scholar I am sure. So I go back home Saturday and hope to see many in EL sat and sun, maybe a few in Roch wed?

balti, balmo, "the town that reads"

It dawned on me just now, I created this thing a year ago so we would stay in touch as we all spread out, and I never even took the time to write about what I'm doing. Most of you know and a lot of you know more than others, but why not just air all the dirty garbage right here right now.

Yea I was going to go to NYC and live with Fordy, pray for a job and chase a girl way to young for me, but that all changed when I got the job offer of a lifetime in Baltimore. I took it in August and set everything up pretty quickly. Below are a couple shots of the place I'm living. I am about 10 min southwest of Balti, 25 min north of D.C.




My job is as solid as they come. I work in the media brokerage industry, a very small one to say the least. We facilitate the sale of radio and tv stations. Anywhere from big business like a $140 million deal I was looking at today, to a small mom and pop AM radio station in Scatchard worth $500,000. My job is as an analyst, I have to learn the ins and outs of every market and deal they ask me to know, so I can be their expert, their second brain on any topic. Its really cool and my goal is to be a big million dollar broker myself in a few years. They really educate me as if I'm getting a free continuation of my masters, which is sweet. They are also the nicest people in the world, taking me to sports games and oh yea, giving me this private office.


Well dudes, I miss ya all, and cant wait to see the trouble makers I get a chance to this next week.

Mmmm east coast sports

So I'm a very lucky dude. My boss gets great tickets to all kinds of sporting events in the Balmo-DC area (yea thats how "we" say it here, "Balmo") and I get to go to lots of them. I'll be checking the Caps out for the first time next week, and last night I suffered with the rest of the Ravens faithful through a horrible loss, where the most entertaining thing on the field was a Tony Siragusa look-a-like who danced. I did spend a good amount of time at the club bar drinking on my boss's tab as I also cried over the Lions.





I did, however, also experience the tradition of Navy football. I went to the Navy-Air Force game earlier this year and the pageantry of the whole thing is just awesome.

Life in General

So I think I'm going to start using this to ramble more.

I enjoy the convos were having on the 3B annual trip now. I really hope we pull this off and go places, even if not exotic, just gettin the guys together.

One thing I never understood was why people made such a big deal about casual fridays at work. Now I understand soooo much, as I sit in my jeans and sweatshirt in total comfort.

I dont think I want my iPod to be a touch screen, wtf Apple, buttons worked well, stop being pretentious douche bags.

I'm going to the Ravens game Sunday, even though they suck, this should seriously rock.