Zombies CAN ride dirt bikes!

Man I love me some zombies. For Christmas I was given a how to survive zombie attacks set of flash cards and after reading, I felt pretty assured I knew what was what. In leading up to the days of Resident Evil 5, Damman argued with me that the game had no zombies, as I hysterically screamed about dirt bike riding zombies from the trailer. Well since my play through, applying my flash card knowledge, I do have to say this is not a “zombie” game, and it is also not a typical Resident Evil game. A lot of purists have been in an uproar over this; I, well, I have enjoyed the product and I’ll be so kind as to tell you why.

RE5 pretty much abandons survival horror like an unwanted child at the mall. No mention of it, no remorse for it, the game just went a different way. This is a shooter… where you can’t actually shoot while you move. Let us call it a “Stand Still Shooter with Inventory Management.” I think that does nicely. I ate this up. I loved the story, I loved the enemies, I thought the levels were varied and unique. Puzzles pleasurable and simple. The variety of weapons ridiculous (more later) and the cooperative experience joyous.

For me, co-op has become the new drug. Damman has become my new video game BFF as we have sought out new ways to constantly annoy each other while achieving a common goal. RE5 provides another way for one person to be all brain, and another to use hap-hazard brawn. (take a guess who is who.) The inventory management allowing you to trade items with your partner creates a fun interplay between who takes what on a given level and what strategies you want to use for a given boss.

The dialog, as Damman explains, is typical RE, very cheesy. Hell by the end of the game, my very first RE experience, I could guess a line before they said it. As I eluded to before, however, the story was fun. It may do a horrible job of trying to explain the history of RE, but as a stand-alone, it won me over.

The replay value for this title is immense. The un-lockable weapons, costumes, special items and game modes make for a unique kind of treasure hunt. I went back through after my first run through and hunted for all the emblems, treasure and missed goodies from before, searching for the kind of completion of a game I rarely desire. Some may call this achievement whoring, some may be disinterested in it. The blank fact is my game clock was about 11 hours to beat it, and I’ve logged another 6 just hunting for things now. Entertainment value is entertainment value folks.

End of the day, this isn’t really RE5 as much as it is RE-a new way to play. It was hella fun, I am going to play some more, a lot more, and I hope to horde all of your magnum ammo in game sometime if you ever play with me too.

Score: 4 out of 5 “Damn it Jason, you blew me up again!”s

Deviant art image stolen from haruningster

When I was your age, I played in a closet

Retro gaming, god I love it. Damman mentioned last night that with our respective bouts of retro fever, he picking up the new Street Fighter and myself opting for the Sega Genesis collection, we were both feeling like kids again. I mentioned I always feel like a child, then corrected myself and opted for the more appropriate “I always ACT like a child.” None the less, I enjoyed my walk down memory lane to the tune of $30 and figured we could have a chat about it.

Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection on the 360 has a tremendous 40 titles from what I could gather was 1988-1995. Filled with every Sonic game, Streets of Rage Game, Phantasy Star, and even Ecco 1 and 2, it’s a big piece of nostalgia. Plugging the game in to a CD drive does not give the same satisfaction of snapping a cartridge into a port, but once it booted and I heard the muted “Seeeegaaaaaaa” come out the speakers, I knew I was home.

For me, my Genesis years were spent in a closet. Stop the jokes, I really mean a closet, not a figurative one. I shared a bedroom with my brother and in it we had a closet about 12 feet long and 4 feet deep. In the back corner we stuffed a tiny TV, our Genesis (and later my Sega CD) and a bean bag chair. Many an hour was spent hiding away in that corner conquering the kind of cartoonish villains today’s games seem to have drifted away from. I thought for a moment about stuffing my 47” into my tiny closet at home and playing, but realized that just was not gonna work. Ahh progress.

I’ll give the Collection an A+ for throwback effort as the menu of the disc does its best to replicate the top down look of a Sega. Scrolling through the 40 titles is easy, as you can sort alphabetically, by year, or genre. I jumped right into Sonic the Hedgehog and realized I blow. Seriously, today’s games have made me so nervous about crossing a platformer screen, I did not possess the speed and prowess needed to even complete Act I. From here I moved onto Sonic Spinball, and had a blast remembering how much I cursed this game in the past. The difference today is I possess a greater amount of curse words which to use.

What I really need, is my brother here so we can beat Streets of Rage in 3 hours flat, and then move onto some Golden Axe. What the Collection needs is to cut the crap with this “Now in HD!!” selling point. Look, I don’t know what you did to tweak these games and say they are HD now; the sound is still 16 bit, graphics are 16 bit, and you have to pattern out the extra 6 inches of space on my cinematic TV because they are still 4:3 games. Just sell the collection for what it is, nostalgia, and forget trying to sex it up.

Overall, I want to march through the first level of each of these classics and feel like a kid again. My only hope is that someday when I have children, my 13th Xbox 360 might still be alive and I can show them what daddy used to play when he was in the closet.

Score: 3 out of 5 mountain dew fueled adolescent gaming parties

There is no excuse for me

I have been bad. I have not posted in forever. I am sorry to all three of you. Really though, I've been nutso busy and I have no excuse except that it involves work, friends, booze, cheap women, a classy woman, and sleep. I also jumped in a frozen ocean, but I'll let you sort that all out.

In lieu of a real post I give you this funny photo, and wish you a good night and week, because I won't be writing until after Medium and I visit the Red Wings in D.C. this weekend.

Maybe Damman will get off his ass and write something.

The new eleventh month is Gametober

Oh it has been a long time since writing. And lo and behold what happens when I venture away from my blog for too long? A Damman goes and grows out of the cracks…

So lately life has been a whirlwind. I suppose when you step away and look at two months in any scenario, it will amount to an excess of thought and feelings, but these two months felt like more. In a situation where you’ve found your life void of security, lacking definition, and where once you felt solid, you are now weak; escapism is a fantastic thing. And so a month where I thought I would lose my job among other things, gave way to the greatest video game month in history. Thank god for virtual worlds.

It began simply enough with Fable II. A fantasy RPG truly allowing you to be someone else, I had a lot of high hopes for this. Driven more than it should have been by the desire to co-play with Damman, I grabbed this one on day of release. The multi-player proved buggier than Castle Crashers and wholly unsatisfying. The game provided a few days of exploration and then I dove into the story and was greeted by the worst character development and ultimate ending I have experienced in a decade. Much was made of this title being the deep, thought provoking game of the year. What it was, is an example of how off track and horrible a game can be when it relies on gimmicks. Here is a hint Lionsgate; Dog equals less than Awesome ending.

Score: Two out of Five Dammans.

That same trip to the store for Fable produced an unexpected purchase. I felt rich that day for reasons I have none. I managed to put down a copy of Armoured Core (for you Canadians) and pick up a copy of Dead Space. As Damman wept over the loss of reality in me rejecting a giant robot game, I dug into the most terrifying experience of my video game life. In all honesty, I never played Silent Hill, Resident Evil, or anything remotely shock inducing, except for maybe Phantasmagoria like 15 years ago. Dead Space kept the lights on for the first few nights, and it hunts me. I sit there now on chapter 5 of 12, not wanting to turn it on. I don’t want to walk down the hallways and look behind me, I don’t want to watch my air run out as I flee baddies, I don’t want to play a game and be scared into finishing it quickly. My gosh though, do I want to see it’s sights, not hear it’s sfx in the volume of space, and feel the design of the world. It is an arty masterpiece, redefining sensory involvement, but at times, it is off track. Judging solely on 6 hours of play, I cannot rate this total experience, but I rate it based on enjoyment … and fear.

Score: Four out of Five Dammans.

Fallout 3 came out in the middle of all of this, and honestly, it is going to be ridiculously awesome. All I have done is escape from the vault and walk out into the nuclear disaster of D.C. and I stopped. I cannot approach this until all else is at rest. I want to be as dedicated to this as I am to my nose.

Score: Five out of Five Dammans for anticipation.

Red Alert 3 is as campy as they get. I bought this for two reasons. My brother and I have a bond going back to before we had a bond when it comes to RTS games. Red Alert seems to have always been there. I remember him first introducing me to the concept when C&C first came out. And then there are the cut scenes. Oh I love the cut scenes. Ironic that last night as Medium and I lay the first campaign to bed, the cut scene is what ultimately KO’d my super computer. Somehow my PC was now convinced that a floppy drive was needed to boot my system. After fixing that little annoyance, I eagerly await claiming the Statue of Liberty back from the Soviets. Spasiba Comrade. The game play may be a bit faster than it should be, and the units are farther from reality than I would have liked, but overall, it is what RA is.

Score: Three out of Five Dammans.

Gears of War 2 is kind of like Nickleback. Frat boys and teenage girls will flock to this one and pollute the message boards and online community with thoughts I do not want to hear. This is the same crowd that forces me to unplug my headset while playing Halo. The quality of story in the media is lacking, but the professional polish is what it is. That all said, Damman and I plowed through this in marathon session part 1 and 2. I enjoyed it greatly and that probably says more about me than I hoped. The story, and ending, leave me kind of chilly, but oh my, does horde mode warm me up. That sir, is not sketch.

Score: Four out of Five Dammans.

Finally, Medium, Damman and I tried out Left 4 Dead last night in 360 demo form, and while I was first overwhelmed with hope and excitement over the promise of this, I left our session dulled. It felt too one dimensional. In a way this was Wolfenstein 3D all over again. I knew where to run, where to point, how to use my one of two guns. Any gimmicks that were there did not save my opinion. I cannot rate it as just a demo, but I think I’ll pass on this one.

And so, the story goes, November became Gametober, and the wallet screamed in agony, while the hearth rejoiced.