The Best Video Game Consoles Ever: #5-1

So sometimes I am a bit of a slacker, or I get busy livin and forget to get busy writing. That said, here we go, way late; my top 5 consoles of all time. If you ignored me per usual, time to pay attention and read parts uno y dos. Below you’ll see my score and justification for the best 5 video game boxes ever produced, followed by the final chart showing all of the 15 scores in line. Per usual, tear me apart in the comments as you please!

5. Nintendo 64
Score: 36
Games: 7
Graphics/Sound: 6
Controller/Interface: 10
Durability: 9
Intangibles: 4

Sheer, absolute, uninhibited joy. That is what I felt free running as Mario in an open world on that first encounter with Super Mario 64. The N64 innovated more genres of gaming than any console before it. While it did not create these modes of play, the first person shooter with Goldeneye, flight with Pilot Wings, sports play and management with any of the EA Sports games all got a significant console level boost on the N64. Mario Kart was stronger and more fun here than in any other iteration. The controller? A sheer pleasure to hold, a perfect extension of your palm. It is a bit of a sin I don’t have this system higher up the list.

4. Playstation 2
Score: 37
Games: 8
Graphics/Sound: 7
Controller/Interface: 9
Durability: 5
Intangibles: 8

The first console to have wireless controller attachments, the first console to go (successfully Dreamcast!) on-line, the first console to put a plastic guitar in your hands, the PS2 was more anticipated than any unit ever. Remember waiting in line to buy one? Remember them selling for $1,000 on eBay? Remember the sheer shock of amazement at those graphics when you loaded NHL or Madden and saw individually drawn crowd members cheering for your team? The PS2 started all that chaos. Game selection was already into the hundreds when the original Xbox came out, and the horrid size, power usage and missteps of Microsoft never allowed it to match Sony’s most successful console ever. That said, we all had a few optical lens issues and feared for our lives each time that disc drive slid open. But seriously, you could watch DVDs on your game console(!) How amazing was that?

3. Sega and the 32X
Score: 39
Games: 9
Graphics/Sound: 8
Controller/Interface: 7
Durability: 8
Intangibles: 7

The Sega was the preeminent system for an era. Games out the wazzo. Sonic, Desert Strike, Earthworm Jim, NHL 94, Mortal Kombat, Streets of Rage, on and on they go. That controller? Divine intervention. Nothing ever seemed so amazing and comfortable in your hands. The console was a step forward from the 8-bit era in all the right ways, and in many similar to the Super Nintendo. The basis for designation as the 3rd best console comes down to iconic themes and what we think of when some classic games or characters are brought up. Sonic? Sega. Mortal Kombat? Sega. For the SNES era games, if you mention Mario, Metroid, Donkey Kong; you don’t think of the SNES, you think of the original Nintendo. The SNES only defined itself with the Star Wars series, and that just was not enough.

2. Microsoft Xbox 360
Score: 40
Games: 9
Graphics/Sound: 9
Controller/Interface: 10
Durability: 2
Intangibles: 10

The Xbox 360 is the current champion of the industry. Innovation in graphics, sound, design and community interactivity all start and stop here. Sure the PS3 can boast a Blu-ray player and just as powerful a graphic/audio experience, but the PS3 completely bones the community involvement, which sends so many throngs of friends to the Xbox. The ability to group up in parties, talk to each other across different games, interact and meet new friends, the Xbox makes distance gaming almost feel like on the couch gaming did for the N64 or Sega. With exclusive titles like Gears of War and the Halo series, along with getting some titles before the PS3 will, the 360 is your top choice for today’s gaming addictions. The 360 controller feels like a controller should, compared to the too light and bumbling PS3 unit with its poorly modified triggers. The console obviously has its downfalls. Yours will break. $100 on the mat right now, buy one and it will break, probably soon. It is loud, it is too big, it does not have built in wireless internet, and it does not have a great hard drive system. Still, this unit forced a gaming revolution, who can say they play today without thinking about Achievement Points? Microsoft has come a long way with the 360, and should knock it out of the park with whatever their third console is.

1. Nintendo Entertainment System
Score: 44
Games: 10
Graphics/Sound: 7
Controller/Interface: 8
Durability: 10
Intangibles: 9

The big dog, queen bee, lord and savior of all indoor entertainment; the NES started everything for real. This was the first platform to transcend geeks and reach average people. For true gamers, how many games do I have to list to convey the importance of game quality during this era? Mario Bros, Zelda, Metroid, Contra, Mega Man, Battle Toads, Ninja Turtles, it goes on and on! 61 million of these consoles were sold, and at the time they include two games, two controllers and a light gun! What value! The 8-bit graphics and sound still hold up today for a basis of design, just look at the recent Mega Man 9, or exploding market for 8-bit emulators on the iPhone, hand-helds and PC. The controller was simple, move-jump-shoot, and today, sometimes I just wish that was what they all still were. There is something to be said for nostalgia in a contest like this, and something to be said for acknowledging a trend setter and rule breaker. The NES did more than sell so many million units or start a whole generation of video game lovers, it brought about the first real design elements of games as stories/art/culture as opposed to pong or asteroids; it started it all.


Thanks for hanging around for the ride, feel free to tear apart my opinions in the comments and please, just go game a little. Give a programmer his wings.

When I was your age, I played in a closet

Retro gaming, god I love it. Damman mentioned last night that with our respective bouts of retro fever, he picking up the new Street Fighter and myself opting for the Sega Genesis collection, we were both feeling like kids again. I mentioned I always feel like a child, then corrected myself and opted for the more appropriate “I always ACT like a child.” None the less, I enjoyed my walk down memory lane to the tune of $30 and figured we could have a chat about it.

Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection on the 360 has a tremendous 40 titles from what I could gather was 1988-1995. Filled with every Sonic game, Streets of Rage Game, Phantasy Star, and even Ecco 1 and 2, it’s a big piece of nostalgia. Plugging the game in to a CD drive does not give the same satisfaction of snapping a cartridge into a port, but once it booted and I heard the muted “Seeeegaaaaaaa” come out the speakers, I knew I was home.

For me, my Genesis years were spent in a closet. Stop the jokes, I really mean a closet, not a figurative one. I shared a bedroom with my brother and in it we had a closet about 12 feet long and 4 feet deep. In the back corner we stuffed a tiny TV, our Genesis (and later my Sega CD) and a bean bag chair. Many an hour was spent hiding away in that corner conquering the kind of cartoonish villains today’s games seem to have drifted away from. I thought for a moment about stuffing my 47” into my tiny closet at home and playing, but realized that just was not gonna work. Ahh progress.

I’ll give the Collection an A+ for throwback effort as the menu of the disc does its best to replicate the top down look of a Sega. Scrolling through the 40 titles is easy, as you can sort alphabetically, by year, or genre. I jumped right into Sonic the Hedgehog and realized I blow. Seriously, today’s games have made me so nervous about crossing a platformer screen, I did not possess the speed and prowess needed to even complete Act I. From here I moved onto Sonic Spinball, and had a blast remembering how much I cursed this game in the past. The difference today is I possess a greater amount of curse words which to use.

What I really need, is my brother here so we can beat Streets of Rage in 3 hours flat, and then move onto some Golden Axe. What the Collection needs is to cut the crap with this “Now in HD!!” selling point. Look, I don’t know what you did to tweak these games and say they are HD now; the sound is still 16 bit, graphics are 16 bit, and you have to pattern out the extra 6 inches of space on my cinematic TV because they are still 4:3 games. Just sell the collection for what it is, nostalgia, and forget trying to sex it up.

Overall, I want to march through the first level of each of these classics and feel like a kid again. My only hope is that someday when I have children, my 13th Xbox 360 might still be alive and I can show them what daddy used to play when he was in the closet.

Score: 3 out of 5 mountain dew fueled adolescent gaming parties