Slightly more competent than three little pigs

First off, I have really enjoyed Newman’s series “Night Shift,” I encourage you to read it if you have not. The series is now available on the right side link bar along with a few others.

Now the topic at hand; I am attempting to grow up. The biggest thing a man can do in life outside of produce life, is put a solid roof over his head, and this is my goal this year. I currently sit in what I perceive to be a stable job, or at least comparatively to everyone else I converse with, more stable than average in today’s climate. I live in a community I have grown affectionate to, and I am sick and tired of throwing rent money away.

I have received more advice than I know what to do with on this situation. Advice from those who have purchased, and those who have done more research on purchasing than I, yet never have. The simple fact remains however, I know no one who has ever purchased in this violent economic climate.

Two sides to this issue are solid facts I, nor any opposed party can dispute: This is a fantastic time to buy, and I have absolutely no wiggle room financially if I fail somehow. The primary motivation for me to do this is long term benefit. I have in my current life, no real way to build equity and wealth. One way to naturally begin building that is to remove the $1,000 I dump monthly and $12k yearly into rent, and instead invest in a home I can return value on some day, thus building equity. This is the path advised to me by my employers, and this is the path many mentors have recommended for me. But let us break down some positives and negatives…

Pros of buying now:

1. Save equity versus wasting rent.
2. Build stronger credit.
3. $8,000 tax credit on my 2009 return.
4. Lowest fixed rate mortgages in a decade.
5. Best buyers’ market in my lifetime.

Cons of buying now:

1. I have a max of 5% to put down.
2. No cushion to fall on if I lose my job.
3. Foreclosure problems > missing rent.
4. Uncertain about career in 5 to 10 years.
5. No ability to run back home to Michigan.

So there are five for each. I tend to really like the pros, and do not fear most of the cons. I have a lot of faith in myself though, and always have. Quite honestly, I’ve always gotten by and overcome my hurdles and found a way, and feel I can here as well. I respect the cons though, so I list them and evaluate them. The biggest issue for me is not risk of foreclosure. I will have a total monthly due for my home (including tax) that equals slightly above my rent, keeping in mind my pay ticks up semiannually. My biggest issue is being locked into Baltimore. I love it here, but you never know. I am of the mind that this is one of the best job areas I could be in, with a doable commute to D.C. as well. It is certainly a better situation than Michigan.

I welcome your thoughts as I approach this, I am moving slow and heeding advice from professionals and from my friends. I think the advice I welcome most though, are the words from those who not only see the pros and cons, but also know the mental makeup of the one you affectionately call Fucko.

How Champions Move

OK I shall begin with an overdue pat on the back for my former roomie, Ninja Monk teammate, and new 3B Fantasy Leagues Career Points leader… Eric Goedtel!

Yes, with his Traditional Football league win, he thrusts (we can all picture him thrusting past Korey) ahead of Baby Bop by 3 points, 15 to 12. Ken (who placed 2nd on the season) and Andy sit tied overall in career points at 10, with Andy taking the 3rd ranking thanks to having 2 Championships to Ken’s 1.

Once again, this year we had three first time point recipients. Mike pulled off the inaugural Dynasty Football league win over newcomer Jonny, who gets 2 points for his first ever season, making him the leading percentage leader with a 200% value. Newman also secured his first point with a 3rd place victory in the same Dynasty league. And of course following my horrible semi-final choice of QB, I racked up a point for 3rd place in Traditional, giving me an astounding 4 points in 13 seasons, good for 11th in the rankings. No one can ever say this commish cheated.

So in evaluating our nerd prowess, my brother (who sits right below me at 12th overall, king of 3rd place finishes) and I pondered moves per season. Do champions draft well, manage well, or just get lucky with their auto-drafts and ignored rosters? Well I think soon I’ll break down that stat on a slow day and look at it. But here is some food for thought. Ken, when he won his hockey championship in 2005, had a 3B Leagues record of 83 ridiculous roster moves. In 2007 he finished second in the league and moved a season high, and 2nd over all for 3B, 62 times.

The lowest total of moves to ever win anything? Slick Nick’s 2003 Football team with 5 goddamn moves the whole year. His abomination of a team was 6-8 at regular seasons end. As the 7th seed he upset #2 Andy, #3 Eric, and #4 Korey en route to his stolen championship.

The lowest move total ever to have any kind of success was Bill Hard in 2006’s hockey league. With one brilliant move I wish I could see, he finished .500 on the season and took 4th place in the playoffs.

Six players in our league’s history have made zero moves on a season, all of them finishing out of the playoffs, and half finishing dead last in the leagues. Newman in 2003 Hockey, Newman and Dave in 2004 Football, Lindsay in 2005 Football, Pat in 2006 Hockey and Newman in 2007 Hockey. Newman my friend, there is some explanation as to why you took so long to get 1 point.

All of these fun point stats as well as complete archives of our leagues can be found on the 3B Fantasy sports home page. Food for your clickity click thoughts.

3B Dream

OK, so I need everyone's help to discover the meaning behind this strange 3B dream I had last night:

It all started with Jason and I (Newman, if this isn't clear), where we lived in South Dakota. We didn't live together, we just lived in the same town. We were invited, along with everyone in 3B, to go to New Andy's ranch near Texas for some go-karting. We were invited to go Thursday-Saturday. I booked a very expensive hotel suite, and then after it was booked, Jason tried to change the dates to Friday-Sunday. I yelled at him and talked him out of changing the dates. We drove down to Texas from South Dakota in two cars (following each other) and had a fight about what interstate to take.

On the way, I called Korey, who said he probably wasn't coming. I also remember calling Bill but I'm not sure why. When we got to the suite, I checked in, and inside the room was this really hot redhead, hiding behind the kitchen counter. She worked as a bellhop at the hotel, and had folded a towel into a very intricate design around her head, and was just hiding there like the Cheshire Cat, smiling. I jumped back, and she laughed. We talked about what a strange thing that was to do, and she agreed. Then others from 3B began to arrive, and she helped them with their bags into the room. She commented that I had brought too many pillows.

I also had my mail diverted from my home with a "change of address" form. When I arrived in Texas, I already had a Newsweek magazine and two phone books, one for South Dakota, and one was the MSU Faculty that we all used to get in the dorms.

At one point after several of us were in the room, it dawned on me that we all could have just stayed with New Andy at his ranch and saved a lot of money.

Then we headed out to New Andy's ranch. It had a large go-kart track, but it was majorly banked, almost like a skateboard course from one of those Tony Hawk games. This made it very impractical for go-karts, as it was too small around, and too banked. It was also above ground...

Howie and I were racing in the go-karts, Mariokart style, and he took one of the banks too high and flew up and over. I finished the race and Dammon yelled to him, and Howie responded that he was OK, just all bumped and brused. Ron was driving the Yoshi kart, and Medium was racing him in a normal kart at this point. I was standing with Nick, New Andy, Jason, Dammon, Bill, and Anne (yes, Anne came without Korey...). There were others around different parts of the track, but we were up on the platform.

I then went back to the suite to try and have sex with the redhead, but Jason and others followed and blocked my efforts. When it was time to check out, instead of any of us packing, we just got about 10 bellhops to come and help carry all of our unpacked stuff to the cars. For some reason, I had a lot of personal items from my home, along with items from my parents home, that I wouldn't have brought. They were all unpacked. This included my step-mom's scrapbooking supplies and sheet music, all unpacked and spread out under one of the beds. I also seemed to have 7 pairs of shoes... The bellhops were givin our stuff to carry based on their arm legnth and gender. I would say something like "The female bellhop with the 2nd longest arms, come here" and a girl would run over, hug me (to show arm legnth) and then start picking up all of the stuff to take to the car.

This is when Eric and Lauren came from their room (they were the only ones to not stay in the suite, minus New Andy who stayed at his ranch) and Lauren made fun of me for having more shoes than her. She was also holding that picture frame that I "borrowed" years ago from her sister's party and we had at the 3B apt. for a while. I got in my car and started the drive back to South Dakota, and Jason got mad at me because I needed to go to the Post Office to have my mail changed back from the hotel address to my home address.

THE END

Thoughts? I believe this is somehow important, because I NEVER remember dreams. Plus it was so vivid and many of you were there.

Continuing the Turkey Day Thoughts...

I also will be returning home to Michigan for the Turkey Day. And, like Jason, truly appreciate the traditions associated with this holiday. For me this year, things are really different. It almost became unbearable when the Lions started flirting with another blackout. However, as of noon today, the game sold out and that issue has been avoided.

An important tradition in my family has been the home Thanksgiving, often at my grandparents house. Everyone in the family is invited (and that includes all of the extended family, the ex-husbands and new wives, people who are longtime friends, etc.) Normally all of these people are invited, half say they will come, and everything works out fine. This year, due most likely to el Nino, everyone said "Yes, we'll be there."

Crap.

The table won't fit nearly that many people, and my grandparents (in their 80's, both have had hip replacements) really can't cook and clean up for that many people. So, for the first time EVER, we will be eating at a restaurant. I have literally no idea what to expect with this. I'll probably miss some of the Lions game, and also I am worried that I won't get some of my old favorite foods. On top of this, part of my family decided they didn't want to deal with the restaurant, and are having a smaller dinner at home. I am expected to attend, so after I go out to eat, I have to come home to eat. Oy...

However, the day will be great I am sure, with family and friends and food. And, MSU basketball tips at 7:00pm Thanksgiving night against Maryland. That should be good...

I also am looking forward to joining in Jason's traditions on Saturday, and seeing my 3B brothers. That does not happen nearly often enough.

Here Comes Newman!

I just want to let everyone in 3B know... and by "everyone" I mean Jason and Dammon it seems... that I, Newman, will now be slightly more active in this blog! I am making this decision after getting a random, weird invite on facebook from Jason. I normally delete these right away, cause I don't enjoy becoming an elf on someones trek to *insert mythical place here.* But, this one said 3B in the title, so I was mildly interested. I couldn't figure it out at first, until I realized it was just a page to promote the old crappy blog, instead of something sexy and new.

Now, at this point I normally would have just pooped out on it again, but I recently started using google reader. It's this "thing" that takes "posts" and puts them in one place. So, I wouldn't need to say, remember to go to the blog to now read it. So I added this blog to my reader.

Reader #3!!! Whooo! My favorite post so far? Dammon saying Jason's rule of tyranny is over. :)

Newman