lions by ten

Evil facial hair of doom

2010-06-09T16:18:00.000-04:00

So Michael Jordan had a Hitler mustache in his new Hanes commercial. People are pissed and I understand why. My question is, do we as a society ever reach a point where a negative iconic physical trait can be used again? Have we retired the Hitler-stache for good? Would we be better off allowing it to come back, thus removing his power over it? Is there even any other physical fashion trait that is the same as this?

Pontificating

2010-05-12T10:55:00.005-04:00

Man it has been forever since I wrote anything here. Our last few posts were about Andy, and I guess I just have not felt compelled to share my thoughts since we lost him this winter. In remembering Andy today, I'd just like to remind everyone to go out and live through your day with a smile; whether its a hard one or easy one, its what Andy would have done.

A lot happened in 3B Fantasy sports that I never wrote about. Mike won his second consecutive Dynasty Football championship and for that he is the first ever recipient of The Andy Minshall Trophy. That asshole also won the regular league. And he got engaged. Stupid happy jerk.

I lost the Dynasty Hockey championship to Ken, and he was awarded Zamboni's Cup, which shares time retroactively with Medium as he won last year. Pumpkin won the regular hockey league.

A lot is coming up this year again between many friends getting married, the 3B reunion being Ford's wedding, and a whole overhaul of participants for the Memorial Day Camping trip. Next year I might have to stay here and enjoy the coast.

I anxiously await September, when I get to move Nikkie down here and begin the great experiment of how many consecutive days she can tolerate me. I have it bet on somewhere around 12.

For Andy

2010-01-26T10:36:00.004-05:00

One of you asked me for this, and I thought this was the easiest way. This is a copy of what I worked off of yesterday. It's not exactly what I ended up saying, but very close.

My first year at Michigan State, I hardly knew anyone at first. But quickly, the group of guys on my floor, 3B, formed the core of what has become some of my closest friends. I think of them as my unofficial fraternity brothers, and Andy is one of these brothers.

Ever since Tuesday, everyone in 3B has been exchanging stories and thoughts about Andy, sharing some of our best memories. Fun times such as when we would all sit around and play videogames, or all head outside and play football. Funny things like Andy riding his minibike through the 3rd floor hallways of Landon, trying not to crash into walls or people.

In 2003, five of us packed ourselves into a fairly small car and drove all the way to the Alamo Bowl in San Antonio, Texas. We decided it would be a good idea to drive straight through, there and back, and only spend about a day and a half actually in Texas. This meant that we spent more time in the car than we did in San Antonio. The other downside of this was that myself and our friend Burly were both quite overweight at the time, and when we were both in the backseat, we had to put the skinniest kid in the middle. So poor Andy ended up spending most of that trip sandwiched between two fat guys in the back of this small car. I think he could hardly even breath most of the time. And we lost the game by something like 45 points.

Andy also dominated most of us whenever we played fantasy sports. No matter what, he always seemed to have a great team. I was so excited and proud last fall when my team narrowly squeaked out a victory against Andy that I decided to call him and kinda rub it in. Well for the first 10 minutes or so of us talking, it was basically me rubbing it in that I had won. I was really giving it to him good. And then, when I was finally done, I said "So what are you up to?" Andy says "Oh, I'm just on my way to radiation." Here I am, giving Andy all this crap, and hes on his way to radiation! I felt horrible! I think he could instantly tell I felt bad, and he was able to turn that around on me and give it right back to me. We ended up talking for about 45 minutes, most of it trash talk one way or the other. And Andy got the last laugh, cause just a few weeks ago he finished the season in 3rd place while I finished down in 7th.

Last year, another of our 3B brothers, Eric, got married. His bachelor party was in Los Vegas, and while I was not there, I've heard the stories and it really was a trip that you wouldn't want to miss. It was evidently such a great trip that there isn't actually any story that I can repeat here... but what I can say is that Andy being on that trip made it even more special for everyone. He was in obvious discomfort, but was out there having fun with his good friends. Just him being there showed everyone how much he cared, and it created memories for everyone that will be special for the rest of their lives.

I think any one of us could get up and share fun stories for another 30 minutes. I'll just say that Andy meant so much to all of us. I speak for everyone in 3B when I say that Andy is our brother forever. Andy, We love you, we miss you, and someday we'll see you again.

Remembering Andrew "New Andy" Minshall

2010-01-20T11:24:00.004-05:00

The 3B gang lost one of their own yesterday morning. Andy Minshall refused to ever give into the disease of cancer and fought it with the courage and spirit rarely seen in man. Let his life, and the way he lifted those around him during his final days be a symbol of strength and an inspiration to face your challenges whether large or small. Andy never, ever quit, and that is a lesson I will carry for the rest of my life.

Andrew “New Andy” Minshall
January 31, 1983 – January 19, 2010

I know you want to hear my pretty voice

2010-01-15T21:54:00.005-05:00

I get it, I have not written anything in forever. I suck. I didn’t even do a top albums of the year because I was so busy. My favorite two? Brand New’s Daisy and Thrice’s Beggars.

On the topic of music, I wanna ask a question. Almost everyone who reads this knows I was a disc jockey in college, most predominantly at the MSU student station the Impact and most sell-out-idly at Clear Channel in Ann Arbor. I miss these days a lot. I liked music and I liked talking.. surprises to absolutely no one.

Known to even less of you is I wrote my masters thesis on podcasting, yea I know crazy, I of all people have a masters, they’re just giving them away!

So the long and the short of it is, I have an itch to hop on my way too expensive computing rig and pump out some podcasts for my friends and family to grunt and bea… enjoy. This is where it gets tricky.

I would love to do an artist feature podcast. Play like 5 or 6 songs from an artist with history about the tracks, band, and scoops on where they’ve been and what they’ve done. Not just crazy crap I like, but like great bands like the Police or Faith No More and stuff. You download, listen to some tunes and learn a little bit to wow your friends with.

Well that is very much out the window as the RIAA would love to sue my ass for it. I typically wouldn’t mind saying F the police! (not the band) and doing it anyway… but since I kinda work in the industry, that would be frowned upon.

So other thoughts had been catching up with the 3B gang monthly, asking whats up, and having a collected update for the group. I could also just rant and rave about my opinion on music, video games, politics, sports.. essentially this blog in audible form… but who the hell would want to hear that? Outside of those ideas, I don’t have jack shit to talk about.

So… suggestions?

The Best Video Game Consoles Ever: #5-1

2009-12-11T10:35:00.007-05:00

So sometimes I am a bit of a slacker, or I get busy livin and forget to get busy writing. That said, here we go, way late; my top 5 consoles of all time. If you ignored me per usual, time to pay attention and read parts uno y dos. Below you’ll see my score and justification for the best 5 video game boxes ever produced, followed by the final chart showing all of the 15 scores in line. Per usual, tear me apart in the comments as you please!

5. Nintendo 64
Score: 36
Games: 7
Graphics/Sound: 6
Controller/Interface: 10
Durability: 9
Intangibles: 4

Sheer, absolute, uninhibited joy. That is what I felt free running as Mario in an open world on that first encounter with Super Mario 64. The N64 innovated more genres of gaming than any console before it. While it did not create these modes of play, the first person shooter with Goldeneye, flight with Pilot Wings, sports play and management with any of the EA Sports games all got a significant console level boost on the N64. Mario Kart was stronger and more fun here than in any other iteration. The controller? A sheer pleasure to hold, a perfect extension of your palm. It is a bit of a sin I don’t have this system higher up the list.

4. Playstation 2
Score: 37
Games: 8
Graphics/Sound: 7
Controller/Interface: 9
Durability: 5
Intangibles: 8

The first console to have wireless controller attachments, the first console to go (successfully Dreamcast!) on-line, the first console to put a plastic guitar in your hands, the PS2 was more anticipated than any unit ever. Remember waiting in line to buy one? Remember them selling for $1,000 on eBay? Remember the sheer shock of amazement at those graphics when you loaded NHL or Madden and saw individually drawn crowd members cheering for your team? The PS2 started all that chaos. Game selection was already into the hundreds when the original Xbox came out, and the horrid size, power usage and missteps of Microsoft never allowed it to match Sony’s most successful console ever. That said, we all had a few optical lens issues and feared for our lives each time that disc drive slid open. But seriously, you could watch DVDs on your game console(!) How amazing was that?

3. Sega and the 32X
Score: 39
Games: 9
Graphics/Sound: 8
Controller/Interface: 7
Durability: 8
Intangibles: 7

The Sega was the preeminent system for an era. Games out the wazzo. Sonic, Desert Strike, Earthworm Jim, NHL 94, Mortal Kombat, Streets of Rage, on and on they go. That controller? Divine intervention. Nothing ever seemed so amazing and comfortable in your hands. The console was a step forward from the 8-bit era in all the right ways, and in many similar to the Super Nintendo. The basis for designation as the 3rd best console comes down to iconic themes and what we think of when some classic games or characters are brought up. Sonic? Sega. Mortal Kombat? Sega. For the SNES era games, if you mention Mario, Metroid, Donkey Kong; you don’t think of the SNES, you think of the original Nintendo. The SNES only defined itself with the Star Wars series, and that just was not enough.

2. Microsoft Xbox 360
Score: 40
Games: 9
Graphics/Sound: 9
Controller/Interface: 10
Durability: 2
Intangibles: 10

The Xbox 360 is the current champion of the industry. Innovation in graphics, sound, design and community interactivity all start and stop here. Sure the PS3 can boast a Blu-ray player and just as powerful a graphic/audio experience, but the PS3 completely bones the community involvement, which sends so many throngs of friends to the Xbox. The ability to group up in parties, talk to each other across different games, interact and meet new friends, the Xbox makes distance gaming almost feel like on the couch gaming did for the N64 or Sega. With exclusive titles like Gears of War and the Halo series, along with getting some titles before the PS3 will, the 360 is your top choice for today’s gaming addictions. The 360 controller feels like a controller should, compared to the too light and bumbling PS3 unit with its poorly modified triggers. The console obviously has its downfalls. Yours will break. $100 on the mat right now, buy one and it will break, probably soon. It is loud, it is too big, it does not have built in wireless internet, and it does not have a great hard drive system. Still, this unit forced a gaming revolution, who can say they play today without thinking about Achievement Points? Microsoft has come a long way with the 360, and should knock it out of the park with whatever their third console is.

1. Nintendo Entertainment System
Score: 44
Games: 10
Graphics/Sound: 7
Controller/Interface: 8
Durability: 10
Intangibles: 9

The big dog, queen bee, lord and savior of all indoor entertainment; the NES started everything for real. This was the first platform to transcend geeks and reach average people. For true gamers, how many games do I have to list to convey the importance of game quality during this era? Mario Bros, Zelda, Metroid, Contra, Mega Man, Battle Toads, Ninja Turtles, it goes on and on! 61 million of these consoles were sold, and at the time they include two games, two controllers and a light gun! What value! The 8-bit graphics and sound still hold up today for a basis of design, just look at the recent Mega Man 9, or exploding market for 8-bit emulators on the iPhone, hand-helds and PC. The controller was simple, move-jump-shoot, and today, sometimes I just wish that was what they all still were. There is something to be said for nostalgia in a contest like this, and something to be said for acknowledging a trend setter and rule breaker. The NES did more than sell so many million units or start a whole generation of video game lovers, it brought about the first real design elements of games as stories/art/culture as opposed to pong or asteroids; it started it all.

Thanks for hanging around for the ride, feel free to tear apart my opinions in the comments and please, just go game a little. Give a programmer his wings.

Prognosticate this... sorry, funny word!

2009-10-27T13:19:00.003-04:00

So prognostication is not my forte. Well except in the survival football league where I am 7-0(!) None the less, I made projections based on averages of other projections in order to see who would finish where this year. If you use the actual rankings, records and points scored so far, I just sucked on that analysis.

This is not a bad thing as far as I am concerned, considering I am first and second in the two leagues. I think I’ll keep projecting myself to suck every year now!

And Newman buddy… yea, let’s fix that big zero OK?

A bunch of games others have reviewed hundreds of times like 3 years before I played them

2009-10-09T13:30:00.007-04:00

A few quick game reviews and thoughts since they have piled up and I never quite found the time to write anything about them:

Fall Out 3
Why the heck am I even bothering to write this? Everyone who games knows the scoop. This was one of the best ever. A ridiculously sized open world in post apocalyptic Washington D.C. with crazy stories, monsters, weapons, and missions. Player customization was without a doubt the highlight of this for me. As always, it is perplexing to realize your character is carrying the load of a pack mule while traversing the wasteland, but it is a game mechanic long accepted. While I ended up skipping half the missions and having to go back during one of the expansions to beat them, the logical layout of mission projection and game advancement was skillfully thought out. Really you need to give 60+ hours of time to Fall Out if you are a big RPG fan. Or a fan of lasers. Or robots. Maybe werewolves too.

Score: 5 out of 5 nuka-colas

Uncharted
Uncharted 2 drops next week, and for the first time as a PS3 owner I am beyond psyched. Uncharted provided the kind of action movie/game experience you never get from either action movies or games. The characters and dialog are the sole winners of this game. You care about your protagonist and his story. The game mechanics are fun, fluid, and tricky enough to make you die a few times. I am sure Uncharted 2 will improve on all the low points, but for Uncharted, the low points are still 8 out of 10s. If you liked Tomb Raider for the genre and not the big boobs, this is right up your alley but sooooo much better. Nathan Drake FTW.

Score: 4 out of 5 zombies in this game for some random reason

Resistance
Seriously poor buy. I have Resistance 2 on my shelf waiting to be played, because I heard so many good things about it, but Resistance was so hard to control, navigate and play that I don’t even know if I should open it. This game comes off feeling like Halo: CE, 5 years after Halo came out. The story gives me hope for Resistance 2, but Resistance one, blow me.

Score: 1 out of 5 wtf aliens from Russia?

Killzone 2
I never played Killzone on the PS2, but I did have a run in with it for the PSP, which turned me onto the story a bit. Boy am I happy I jumped in. Killzone 2 is a fantastic, gritty, futuristic shooter. The sound, graphics, mechanics, story and weapons all drew me in. Killzone 2 falls as a mix of Call of Duty and Halo really. Realistic weapons, combat variants and gore, in a other worldly setting. I really can’t promote the multiplayer as I have not touched it, but it looks to be about as fun as Gears of War, just first person.

Score: 4 out of 5 grenades that beep when thrown are much easier to run away from than the silent type

The Best Video Game Consoles Ever: #10-6

2009-10-08T13:40:00.010-04:00

So the first 5 consoles of my top 15 ranking drew up a little debate on the ‘ol blog and on the export of the article to Facebook… exxxcellent. I cannot tell you how much I love that you hate that I put the SNES so low. If you missed numbers 15 through 11, you can see them here. Now it is time to show you who was just a pixel above the worst of the best, I guess you could say.

10. Microsoft Xbox
Score: 31
Games: 7
Graphics/Sound: 7
Controller/Interface: 5
Durability: 6
Intangibles: 6

I hear another wave of complaints coming, but I don’t think I’ll be able to find and read them. See this giant, no; behemoth console is blocking my view. We get it Microsoft, you are monsters. You create everything that is good and powerful. I recommend next time you don’t make a console that won’t fit inside the door of a home. For real though, this was a big machine. The Xbox never got a foothold to go up against the PS2; it simply came out way to late in the generational war to combat Sony. The hardware issues could be called petty, but they existed. The box consumed more power than Zeus, the controller was too big for anyone not named Gigantor, and I defy you to name a console exclusive title outside of Halo: CE and Halo 2 that anyone would look at today with fond memories. A good start Microsoft, but a middle of the road machine.

9. Sega Dreamcast
Score: 32
Games: 8
Graphics/Sound: 5
Controller/Interface: 6
Durability: 7
Intangibles: 6

So many people have the Dreamcast as their favorite console. So few of you actually ever owned one. Those that did, myself not included, considered it a gem. The last Sega console ever was a beauty. The controller was beyond innovative, comfortable and futuristic, the on-line network ahead of its time. The failure of the last great Sega unit is as perplexing as it is sad. Titles like Phantasy Star On-line, Shenmue, Jet Grind Radio, Sonic Adventure and Grandia 2 provided ample chances for the Dreamcast to grab attention as exclusive titles, but the propaganda and advertisement war against Sony and Microsoft was not powerful enough. At the end of the day, many see the Dreamcast as another NES, a system you keep for life and cherish memories with; it just didn’t live long enough.

8. Sony Playstation
Score: 33
Games: 8
Graphics/Sound: 4
Controller/Interface: 5
Durability: 8
Intangibles: 8

The first Sony brought the first massive game library on optical discs. Chances are if you owned an original PS, you still do, because it really didn’t break down. The PS brought us our first appearance of the innovative Dualshock controller, our first play of Crash Bandicoot, and who can forget Final Fantasy VII… seriously, get over it, it happened like 34 years ago. The PS had new games out every damn day, any title you wanted to play that wasn’t named Mario, you had it. Grand Theft Auto, Persona and Star Ocean all provided innovation still copied today. The PS was revolutionary for giving the industry a viable reason and method to go optical, while it’s contemporary the N64 was still slugging along with solid state cartridges. 100 million consoles worldwide are not ever wrong.

7. Nintendo Gamecube
Score: 34
Games: 6
Graphics/Sound: 6
Controller/Interface: 8
Durability: 9
Intangibles: 5

Oh Gamecube, I loved you so much. You were so cute and cuddly for a cube. All tiny and cubey and colorful. It was a console to be loved, and one with some really shining examples of Nintendo game design. While a lot of the games you played on the ‘cube were third generations of SNES and N64 titles, they provided explicit reasons to purchase the console, even late in its life. Zelda Windwaker and Twilight Princess, Super Mario Sunshine, Metroid Prime, Mario Kart Double Dash and any of the 80 versions of Mario Party. This was a fun console to play with friends, and the portability of a tiny lil cube, especially when compared to the monster Xbox or fragile PS2, was nice. The controllers, the last great controller Nintendo ever made, were real joys to hold, and it is no mistake Wii players today still crave the feel of an old Gamecube controller.

6. Sony Playstation 3
Score: 35
Games: 6
Graphics/Sound: 9
Controller/Interface: 6
Durability: 7
Intangibles: 7

And here we go; the first major console of the current generation. Yea the Wii was ranked really low, but I don’t consider the Wii to be current generation gaming at all. So the PS3 falls at least lower than the Xbox 360, and several other units. Graphically, it’s a great machine, top of the line and worth playing new games on. The Blu-ray disc drive is nice for the new movies and such, but the longevity of Blu-ray is still far from determined. Let’s go over some real down points though. The third generation of the Dualshock controller, the Sony “Sixaxis” blows. It feels so light and weak, and the “six axis motion control” is a pointless gimmick and very annoying when you are forced to use it in games. The games themselves are fine a lot are great fun. Console exclusives Killzone 2, Little Big Planet, Metal Gear Solid 4, Uncharted, and soon to be Uncharted 2, are all fantastic. The big issue is that is all there is. The exclusives on the 360, and the downloadable content of this new generation for the 360 games surpasses what is found on the PS3. The dashboard and whole console navigation scheme is clunky, slow and confusing. The real downfall though is the network, it just sucks. Nobody wants to play PS Home, and finding and playing with friends on the PSN is nothing when compared to Xbox Live. Yes the PSN is free, but you get what you pay for in this scenario.

So there we go, another 5 charted and scored, another 5 to be digested and spat back out with your own opinion. That is what is so fantastic about these machines though; so many people had unique and impactful experiences on a particular device, that they still feel the joy of it today. Next week I bring you numbers 5 through the king console of them all, so till then I say bleep bloop.

The Best Video Game Consoles Ever: #15-11

2009-10-01T09:44:00.014-04:00

I am a big video game nut. I still own in working condition every system I have ever had except for my PS2, and I’ve played every console available for home use. In purchasing my latest toy, the PS3 Slim the other week, I began a thought process on what console had been my favorite, which was the best in practical use? Well here we go; I done figured it out and ranked the 15 most popular consoles based on five levels of criteria. Each category has a total possible score of 10 points. Consoles 15 through 11 are presented today and I will count down to the next 5, then the top 5 at a later point as soon as well.. I do it.

15. Sega CD
Score: 16
Games: 1
Graphics/Sound: 3
Controller/Interface: 5
Durability: 5
Intangibles: 2

Ah the Sega CD, the only system I ever traded in anything for. I ultimately owned just 3 games for this beast of a console; Silpheed, Tomcat Alley and NBA Jam. The system functioned as an add on to the Sega Genesis. Most of the games developed for it were geared to adults, and they all just sucked. The console was the first to go with an optical disc drive, and the complications of that showed up in spades. Slow read times, flimsy CD tray (replaced for a top load unit later on) and poor capacity for data. Yea that whole saving games thing was an issue. Sega tried to push the envelope here and keep the aging Genesis alive through add ons. The 32x (grouped in with the Genesis for this story) did more for developing greater games than this system ever did. Ultimately there was nothing the Sega CD did that the Sega couldn’t do, outside of video… and lemme tell ya, nobody had a clue what to do with that. Hey it played audio CDs though…

14. Atari Jaguar
Score: 20
Games: 2
Graphics/Sound: 4
Controller/Interface: 2
Durability: 6
Intangibles: 6

A guy I knew had a Jaguar and man did I think it was cool. My first encounter with it was a great game called Dragons Lair, an interactive movie drawn by a famous Disney animator. Titles like that and Alien vs. Predator gave the Atari console some bite, but not enough to ever make a real impact. The controller was a monstrosity, buttons for no reason. Looked a lot more like a phone really. There was no advertising for the thing, which probably makes most people think of the Tiger based handhelds when you bring up a video game system named for an animal. I liked the Jag, but in no sense did it ever compel me to own one.

13. Atari
Score: 25
Games: 3
Graphics/Sound: 1
Controller/Interface: 8
Durability: 7
Intangibles: 6

The Atari was pretty much the start of it all. While not the first commercially available in home system by far, it was the first real mainstream one. This was my first memory of gaming… the gateway drug if you will. I give some major points to the Nintendo for its 8 bit graphics and 8 bit sound later on, because that really generates some saliva from the mouths and minds of gamers when they think of quality, but I don’t give those points to the Atari. It was pretty primitive, bloops and blips. It was replaced for a reason. The games were damn simple; graphing calculators have had better. Basketball was identical to hockey, was identical to tennis. The controller though, man what a beauty. The Atari joystick has come to and will always symbolize gaming.

12. Super Nintendo
Score: 27
Games: 6
Graphics/Sound: 5
Controller/Interface: 6
Durability: 8
Intangibles: 2

So the follow up to the great NES did not quite hold its own for as long and as strong as it should have. The first console war broke out over the SNES and the Sega Genesis, and the SNES just fell short. Graphical power was equal, but the game selection proved mundane. The SNES gave you what Nintendo will be known for forever. Mario, Zelda, and Star Wars. While the Bazooka gun was pretty cool, the gamepad fell far short of the Sega controller. The console was fairly durable, and spit out a lot of solid games, but just not the innovative titles Sega was able to produce on a yearly basis.

11. Nintendo Wii
Score: 30
Games: 2
Graphics/Sound: 3
Controller/Interface: 8
Durability: 7
Intangibles: 10

This will easily be the most controversial ranking on the list. No console has ever sold so fast or created such buzz. No console has ever re-designed how we game faster than the Wii. The controller and whole concept is very innovative, a true game changer leaving Sony and Microsoft running to catch up. It’s a child’s toy however, a lame step back in entertainment. This system is for non-gamers. If you grew up on games and you love challenges and adventure, you laugh at this. Every game put out for it is mundane, simple in execution and scope, and laughable graphically. Step aerobics and swinging cheap peripherals around to simulate what I used to be able to do with a joystick? No thanks. I play sports for a workout, not video games,

Next week I’ll drop 10-6 on ya. Stick around.

Not sick and not a dope

2009-09-30T14:06:00.002-04:00

So I have a bunch of posts coming soon on video games, music and sports... ya know, the important stuff. I may also have a post about how police officers can suck my nuts, but anyway, allow me to hold you over with a pearl of wisdom.

No.. no Facebook, I will not click to play. See I am not 14, from 1997, nor am I a Ninja Turtle. I find the terms "sickest" and "dopest" to mean disease and stupidity.. something you come to represent more and more everyday.

OK, see ya soon.

Why bother playing? Grading the fanatasy football draft

2009-09-01T16:28:00.005-04:00

So after feeling particularly horrible about my fantasy football draft last night, having scored the super sweet 14th pick in the swing position, I decided I should really take a look overall at how that horrible team I had pieced together stacked up. I began to think about a way to grade everyone’s draft, but outside of using my entirely unprofessional opinion, a way to do it mathematically, and give what I rate some credence.

A few magical seconds later I came up with this method: Using the Yahoo! projections, (which is based off of Rotowire) take every starter’s projected year end fantasy points position for a team, each divided by 16 for the games played, and add them up. This figure should represent an average points scored per week for that team. At the end of it all, I would have a rank of power per team, theoretically breaking down that team’s performance for any given week. A few players did not have kickers, so I gave them an average overall kicker score. Well, let’s just say this got interesting.

My horrible draft turned out not so bad after all. Only five of us crafted a 100+ point team, with my hot Cooley Wives coming in 5th. My co-worker Greg gets the top spot with 104.04, and poor old Scott didn’t make it to 90, with 89.65. #1 overall pick holder Mr. Ford gets a 96.52 good for 9th place.

So naturally, it was time to turn this to our Dynasty league. This took a slight bit more prognostication, and some players had not set their starters yet. I used the best number per position on a team, so if Drew Brees was a 350.00 and Tom Brady a 400.00, I put Brady in the QB slot. This league also has one more starting position than the regular league, and only 10 teams, so point totals were significantly higher.

Well there you have it. The rich got richer. Last year’s champ Swampy Drunk Donkeys of Fordy score a motherfucking 134.50. That is 17.86 points higher than runner-up Dave at 116.64. Poor Howie appears not to have improved his chances much on finishing ahead of dead last again, with a score of 105.53 good for last. Myself, well I felt pretty good about my chances this year, now… well, who wants to trade me some free agency money and draft picks?

Another interesting item is Newman dropping from 3rd to 8th. Obviously intangibles like bench spots are not a factor here, as Newman’s “3 Great QBs” scheme does not equal points on the starter bench in this algorithm, where last year it proved strong when injuries and trades came up.

All told, this paints an interesting picture for the year to come, I think it is a fair guess at how everyone will finish, if you subtract manager skill, and give or take the free agent gems and injuries … not to mention those who fall asleep after week 6.

Can’t wait to come back in December and see how this draft score/projection worked out.

Rumors of our demise were greatly exaggerated

2009-08-28T15:38:00.006-04:00

100 can be a big number can’t it? If you make it to 100 years old, you’re considered healthy, a specimen stronger than 90% of your peers. 100 bucks is nothing to scoff at for the vast majority of the world’s population. 100 M&M’s filled that jar you tried to guess the contents of.

In the Blogging world, 100 kinda blows… well depending on how long it took you to get there. A really well written, ok scratch that, an obsessive blogger who cares to write content daily would be here in a few months. It took us three years. But yay for us!

A project born of communication between college friends expanded into commentary on media, booze, life, sports and empty thoughts. Readership is only a hundred or so people who all know us directly, mixed in with the hundred or so who stumble in from the wide world of the interwebs.

What matters about this blog is the ability to type what comes from our minds and have our friends absorb it. We used to have discussions about nothing on an hourly basis in our dorms and apartments. Now we only talk on birthdays, weddings and non-frequent random occasions. By placing thoughts and content on a equally assessable shelf, we can all hear… or read, the opinion of our friend again whom totally forgot we didn’t want to hear it in the first place.

So to our 100th post I say hello to my college brethren, all our gathered friends, and to the randoms who googled Miley Cyrus and found that one post where I wrote she’s a bimbo. I hope you come around for out next 100 as well.

A few good blogs are your allies in the fight against Mr. Clock

2009-08-28T15:15:00.003-04:00

What do you do when you are bored? I read. I don’t read books per se, but I like to read articles; Stories and snippets on science and technology. Then there is the oft found blog about junk food and just junk that catches my eye. I thought I would share a few favorites.

This is Why You’re Fat is an incredible photojournalistic journey through some of the most disgustingly good looking food stuffs you could ever conceive. The skill some of these confection’s creators had to know the desires of our stomachs is beyond devine.

Everyone is familiar with the Gawker Media stable of blogs. I personally enjoy Kotaku’s work on video games, Gizmodo on technology and gadgets, and Lifehacker on 1,001 ways to improve the way you live your life.

Uncrate is a collection of things a guy never knew he needed to have until they told him. Five new items appear every day, and I recommend glancing through them all at the end of a hard day’s work earning your money to buy such devices.

Lunch Bag Art is a series of photographs by a video game artist who draws a new cartoon on his children’s lunch bags every day. All of you looking forward to being parents one day, this guy trumps you already.

Now if you forgive me, work needs to be done.

District 9

2009-08-24T22:56:00.004-04:00

So I just saw this movie tonight, and in light of Jason's rave review, thought I would offer my own thoughts of it. I'll do my best to keep the plot spoiler free. If I'm to judge District 9 by the reactions of the person sitting next to me, then there's but one emotional response I need to go into: cringing. People explode in this movie. Lots of people, lots of exploding. If you've ever imagined a way that someone could possibly explode, this movie has you covered. Ok, to be fair there are some funny moments, the action and animation are top notch, and the whole human/alien oppression shtick hits pretty true. But man, this movie is gruesome.

The other point I wanted to make is about the aliens. Jason's review noted a real sense of caring for what come to be known as "prawns". I'd say he's half right. As a race they definitely come off as less despicable than their human oppressors, but there's only ever a couple of them that are given much regard, which I thought still fell a little short.

At any rate, if you can get past the abundance of exploding and gore, District 9 is a good movie. Action and aliens set to a solid, if guilt-inducing, story. Also, a robot. What more could you ask for?

District 9 equals total awesomeness

2009-08-21T16:10:00.002-04:00

Very minor content and non-plot based spoiler alerts for those who have not seen District 9.

Not a spoiler alert: I am a geek. I love Sci-Fi.

I love this fucking movie.

District 9 elicited several emotions out of the person sitting next to me and myself. Laughter. Cheers. Anger. Crying. Really really crying. Fear. Disgust. Lots more cheers.

The basic plot is about aliens coming to earth, not really having any wherewithal to take care of themselves or find a way home, and the humans abusing them, segregating them, and trying to steal their technology.

What develops is a story about one man who is a self absorbed idiot, who somehow got the hot wife and thus a cushy job from her dad. Our “hero” never inspired much sympathy from me because his heroic acts are all self-involved, and hes a doofus.

Who I did/do cheer for are the “Prawn” or aliens. I found a very high level of emotion levied in them, and found myself drawn to their plight and personal desires. I caught myself wanting so badly for the humans to be slaughtered and the Prawn to escape back to their home world. The emotional journey you are taken on, from curiosity about the creatures, to disgust for human nature, to anger over torture, to joy when at least some aliens improve their lives, is a long trip.

I found myself the day after during a long drive, daydreaming about the alien characters I had just met, their incredible technology, guns, robots and the battles that ensued. I wanted to hear the child alien’s words again, and I wanted to watch 100 more human bodies explode upon use of the alien lightning gun. In other words, this is a DVD purchase.

Director Neil Blomkamp would have killed it if he got to make his Halo movie, instead he created this masterpiece. I feel this is a story that makes comments on bigotry, racism, class struggles, weapons industries, and the general disgusting feeling you get when you look at what really drives the human condition. Probably the most memorable line for me of the whole movie happens right away. “Not everyone was shocked when the alien ship did not come to rest over New York, Los Angeles or Chicago; but in Johannesburg.”

Simple messages, simple pleasures. Go see this and enjoy the CGI, enjoy the weapons, enjoy the action and the emotions. Stop for a second and think about the comments the movie makes, and then see the damn thing again cause it is so fun.

Hopefully you walk away feeling the same way I did; wanting the aliens to declare war on Earth and blow it all up. In this movie, we deserve it.

Score: 5 out of 5 for wicked alien badassery

Why Ad writers don't write movies... most of the time

2009-08-04T09:43:00.003-04:00

Reading some news articles… who am I kidding… blog posts today, I found myself wondering why so many people, millions really, are so shocked that Transformers 1 and 2 were some of the worst movies ever made. G.I. Joe is ready to step in and take T2’s spot next week. Why such a shock though? Look at what you are working with for source material, and who was put in charge.

Transformers and G.I. Joe were not well written, story driven, childhood gems. They were commercials. 30 minuets long, decade spanning commercials, designed to sell toys. Trying to make a real movie out of them is like trying to take the Geico cavemen and make a TV show…. Oh yea, opps... well, point proven.

We didn’t watch these shows because they had stories on par with Looney Toons or Chip and Dales Rescue Rangers. We watched them because they had toy tie ins that we were captivated by and bought.

Very few of these series in the 80s had anything close to smart intellectual property, and because of that, I don’t ever expect the likes of Michael Bay or any other talentless director to be able to craft a real story about them.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles had a moderate amount of entertainment value and success as a movie franchise, but that was because the source material had real writing and didn’t have to showcase a new vehicle or character every week to buy. There is one other hope for a great movie from our childhood in line with the Turtles. Thundercats.

The Thundercats were one of the most unique and well written ideas and series in the entirety of the decade, and it would transfer over beautifully to the live action big screen with the correct team.

Just take a look at what fans were able to do. (from io9) Gets you kinda juiced up doesn’t it?

Barrier of entry

2009-07-14T15:10:00.004-04:00

I've been cursed with feeling insightful today. On a normal day I'll be searching through my usual treasure trove of entertainments to occupy my mind until the next essential comes up, but not today. Today, just glancing about the usual settings yields something new and inspiring. I don't need some overstimulating nonsense to keep my mind going at a normal clip, there's just a natural flow of good ideas coming in. I can even write this blog with a surprising minimum of distractions and needs to drag out my thesaurus. Now what's so damning about this welcome change to the norm? It just so happens I'll tell you.

This insight I'm boasting about comes at a price. All the things crammed at the back of my mind are resurfacing in a fresh new light. It still sounds like I'm complaining about a good thing doesn't it.....well so much of what inhabit the back of my temporal lobe are regrets. Things I've had such well meaning intentions to learn or revisit but never do. Books I haven't read, good movies never watched. Places never explored, ideas never fully thought out. Old friends I haven't reconnected with, girls I was too afraid to ask out.

On a normal day I have reasons for each and every one. "I was focused on something else", "I had too much going on", "I haven't finished that last book I started", "they probably don't remember me", "no WAY she's interested...." But on a day like today, I know these are all barriers I've made for myself. My cozy little comfort box that blocks away all things scary and new. All it would take is to invest some small time and effort to get past that initial hump of doubt and I'll have expanded this minuscule little chunk of existence I inhabit. That's it, that's all. On a day like today, everything feels like it should be in reach.

So why isn't it? Why can't I accomplish everything I want to in life? All kinds of imagined restrictions circle around, but the only one that seems to hold any truth is the one I hate to acknowledge more than any other: Time. Even should I manage to focus and accomplish things one by one, my imagination will always work faster than the rest of me. That's not even counting tomorrow when the flurry of doubts and barriers come back to play. Well, it's 4pm right now. Let's see what I can do today.

If only I could hide your news feed in real life

2009-07-10T09:35:00.002-04:00

So I have not authored anything in quite awhile, I’ve been busy, tis the summer, all that good jazz. Something has been on my mind for awhile though and I may as well spit the thoughts out.

Nowadays we have Twitter, Facebook feeds, RSS readers, status updates on every IM client possible, and they all inundate us with way more info on a person than we even imagined we wanted.

On a given day I can wake up and look at Facebook to see a post where someone bitches about being awake early, a picture of new hardwood floors (!), or a comment on a failed relationship. This all leads me emotionally to two ends:

First, I realize out of 400 plus people I’ve added on Facebook, I could care less about what 350 of them are doing on a day to day basis, if that. On Twitter, I don’t care at all what anyone is doing that moment, and MySpace, well I just deleted all of you and myself on that one.

Second, I wonder how many people feel that way about my updates. Now I do not exploit my inner emotions a fraction as much as the people who really irk me. I have a new girlfriend, yet I rarely mention her, I am in constant physical pain, yet I don’t complain, I have a tedious 9 to 5 job like most of this country, and I just get up and go. However, I am sure comments I make about hockey games, political action, or lame jokes are equally boring to some as their complaints of life are to me.

The mega question and overall point is this. Are we in reality further distancing emotional attachment to each other by over saturating ourselves with too much info on our friends? These systems are designed to “bring us closer” and “connect” but I find myself every day removing someone permanently from my news feed, and I, although I tried, could give a crap about what you Twitter. Am I in turn alienating friends who don’t care about whatever gibberish I post?

I wonder if the people who reach out the most with these services are just too outgoing or are they people who historically never got any attention from peers and now feel they are accepted and heard just because they were “Added” by someone on the community.

Maybe we’ve reached a point where we need to back off and leave a little more mystery to the world. As a telecomm geek and media professional, I understand connectedness extremely well, but for the love of l33t, I just don’t understand why you deemed it necessary to post a picture of your sick hamster on my wall.

Who wants a sledgehammer to the face?

2009-06-17T11:59:00.002-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, allow me to ask you some simple questions…

Have you ever wanted to smash someone in the face with a sledgehammer?

Have you ever wanted to bring down a building, piece by piece, with that same hammer?

Forget the hammer, how about strategically placing mines around that building so you can take out the support system and make it fall on a bunch of dudes you were going to sledge hammer anyway?

Have you ever wanted to fire rocket launchers at chemical tanks and cause massive chain reactions blowing up buildings and killing dozens?

How about firing a gun that breaks down a person or object to its molecular bits and pieces?

I KNOW you’ve wanted to drive trucks, tanks and walking robots, arms swinging, through buildings... going back to finish off any survivors you missed on the first pass.

I imagine hunting for a series of objects to destroy and complete a mission would be interesting to you as well. How about a bunch of wind turbines? Maybe you’d like to place a charge on the side and watch it fall onto the head of that dude over yonder? Yea, I thought so.

Would you like a world that promises absolutely every man-made object can be destroyed, bit by bit, first the concrete, then the rebar, then the dude standing behind it?

Just go buy Red Faction: Guerilla then. I really can’t sum it up any better than this: Boom.

Score: 4 out of 5 Sledgehammers to the face

Letting the kid have his tantrum

2009-06-16T13:01:00.003-04:00

I am still pretty upset over the Red Wings losing the Stanley Cup. It is a hard reality to accept after you have seen your team win 4 of 4 over 12 years. As a fan base we grew accustomed to being the best year in and year out, countless 100 point seasons, multiple Presidents trophies to go along with the playoff success.

I think we still are the best team, and I would pick us over Pitt again next year in a heartbeat. The West will only get better through Chicago, but Pitt will have to fight Washington, Boston and Carolina to get back.

I think what stings me most is my hate of everything Pittsburgh stands for. I hate this city more than any other in the country. Living so close to the city and attending so many Baltimore/Washington versus Pittsburgh sporting events, I have never in my life encountered dumber or more obscene fans; many who frequent my Facebook experienced one such fan before she was removed. Now before I go further, I make no claim that this is unbiased, of course this statement is biased. This is an opinion based blog, duh.

Crosby was anointed king of the league when he was 17. It was not his choice, and I think he handled it well... at first. I think attention and media can consume you though, and it can blur reality. If I am a parent who just has kids, sure I’ll let them look at Sid as a role model and be content that this is a fine upstanding man who doesn’t do drugs and is a fine hero to have. If I am a parent of a young hockey player, I do not think as highly of him.

I expect a role model to leave the rink without chopping someone’s ankles. I expect him to not punch another player’s crotch, specifically a player who at the time was fighting someone else. I expect him to not complain about every other call. Yea captains talk to the refs, but it generally happens two or three times a game, not every stoppage of play. I think that has as much to do with his mentor as it does his own sense of self satisfaction though. There was one other great captain who was known as a fantastic whiner before Cros showed up, and that happens to be Cros’s current landlord, Mario Lemieux.

Beyond Cros is Malkin. As my brother so perfectly stated, the guy is a punk. He’s a very talented punk, but the dude can’t keep composure at all during a loss. Has he ever fought when his panties were not in a tizzy?

I think the Pens beat the Red Wings fair and square. I can’t blame fatigue or injury, the Wings didn’t show up in game six or seven, so good job Pens. I can say I hate the image Pittsburgh and its players with the cup, and I know I am certainly not in the minority on that one.

Enjoy it Sid, and get off the stage please, there are some much more dynamic (Ovechkin), composed (Zetterberg) and classy (Toews) players better suited for your “position”.

Stop the greedy. Boycott Bono

2009-06-11T10:20:00.003-04:00

Radio has been with you all your lives. Radio plays the Christmas music for you that you never buy. Radio introduces you to new artists you have never heard of. Radio keeps you up to date on the community you live in and connects you with the culture you belong to.

Radio plays the single from the new artist who then gains popularity, makes new music, and then goes on to be one of the biggest super stars in the world. A single radio station group pays hundreds of thousands of dollars a year for the rights to play this music; for the right to give FREE publicity to this superstar artist. Now this artist, along with dozens of others and the RIAA are pushing legislation on Capitol Hill that will force broadcasters to virtually DOUBLE the fees they pay to play music on air.

The super star artist I talk about is U2’s Bono, along with other big names like Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins and the R&B group the Black Eyed Peas. These artists would be flipping burgers without radio, not famous, unknown to you and your friends. They would not be at concerts held by radio stations in their honor or being primped and gifted at meet and greets.

This “Performance Tax” is pushed by the RIAA, artists and record labels as something they need to survive, something radio owes them. In case anyone didn’t notice, nearly every broadcasting company in this country is down in revenue in the past few years, some as much as 50%. Radio has been shrinking for more time than that. And they want stations to double what they pay? The artists need to be responsible and learn how to negotiate better contracts with their labels, not try to steal from a wounded ally who built them up.

See, there is a law called Payola. This law makes it illegal for labels to PAY RADIO to play songs. Hmm, why would that be illegal? Are you saying artists would give anything to get on the radio? That radio gives a competitive advantage to those who get on its airwaves? And yet by the artists’ claims now, radio should be paying even more for the right to play their song. It’s fucking bizzaro world.

I call on you to boycott U2. I call on you to boycott the Black Eyed Peas. I call on you to boycott the Smashing Pumpkins. I call on you to read the news on this issue and discover who else is trying to cut off music’s nose in spite of its face.

Call your legislator, tell them to support radio. Tell them you as a listener think fair is already fair enough.

If you don’t, one day soon you’ll turn your radio on and hear nothing at all.

Who even knew what a bucket list was before that movie?

2009-06-01T10:54:00.004-04:00

So while Damman is talking about flowers, I myself have recently had deep and interesting thoughts occur in my brain goo. I met a girl recently who asked me questions I have not thought about in forever, the kind of stuff that makes you realize there is something going on between your left and right shoulder blade, slightly north of your food receptacle.

The topic of conversation drifted slightly to the mythical “bucket list,” but I always struggle with that term being so young still. I like to think of it more as a life to do list, and after the discussion, I went over this list again and again in my mind, really wondering what I needed to see before I melt away into the black. Well, I think this is kind of the start of a running “need to do before I am old” list… old taken into interpretation.

Visit three continents before I am 40.
Learn to surf.
Take at least one great trip with my brother before we both have kids.
Learn to scuba dive.
Visit every NHL arena.
Hike and camp in the Canadian Rockies.
Go shark fishing.
Take my Dad on one big hunting trip.
Attend E3.
See the Stanley Cup presented in person.
Help out in one grand philanthropic event.
Do something that absolutely terrifies me.
Take a professionally taught cooking class.
See the pyramids.
Brew my own beer, and make it not suck.
See the Australian outback.
Participate in some kind of triathlon.

I guess that’s a good start…

On Appreciation

2009-05-29T21:18:00.009-04:00

"How can anyone look at all the flowers out here and not believe in God?" This was a question posed to me today at work by a customer (I work at a big retail greenhouse). I don't think she expected an answer, thankfully, because I definitely didn't have one for her. Now, I don't mean to paint a picture of an ignorant or gullible person. It just piqued my interest to hear it. The woman didn't seem particularly evangelical, or critical of anyone who might disagree. She may have even blushed slightly after realizing she said it in public. It was like she saw something meaningful and simply commented on it.

I probably don't share this woman's religious views. If anything, when I look at a sea of flowers I'm more likely to imagine the biological makeup that allows so much complexity to come in to existence from dirt and water; or.....hell, molecules, atoms, effing neutrons! While we might be on opposite ends of the spectrum about creation, it doesn't matter. It's all appreciation.

There was another customer I had last week, she was looking at buying a peony. For the non-gardener/greenhouse worker, this is what a peony looks like.

They grow big, get kinda bushy and have large flowers ranging from red to pink to white. This woman had a garden layout all planned up for her, sketches and all, and in one spot she needed some type of peony. It didn't really matter which one. Of the 10 or so varieties out there, the choice was entirely hers. She spent over 45 minutes agonizing. There had to be one perfect plant to choose, THE SOLUTION, and having that kind of responsibility was causing her just so much grief. I wanted to scream at her, "For god's sake just pick one! You can make your OWN freaking decision!" In the end, I think she elected to put it off until she could contact her garden designer. Hypocrite that I am, I know I've done the same thing in a similar situation. But really, is anything actually that important? I'm not so sure.

If you're still waiting for the point to this, well then one of us has clearly failed. I'm gonna say it's god.

Night Shift: Lost Phone

2009-04-29T10:30:00.003-04:00

So last night at work, it was a party night (as finals run Monday-Wednesday). This meant that I had drunk student after drunk student coming in, especially because it was the "after finals" drinking that I'm sure all of the college grads understand.

Anyway, I still have to enforce the security rules, which means no non-students after midnight up in the rooms. Even the drunks know this, and they try to get crafty with me. And sometimes, they succeed!

I had a girl who I could tell was eying a way to sneak past me. Normally I am pretty good at stopping this, but... they can sometimes win. I had a large group of students come in all at once (most likely all from the same train). Some of them can walk right in, as they all live their and it is quick. Those with guests have to wait in a line, and I sign them in. So I'm signing in some people and watching to make sure the residents are all actually supposed to pass me. The girl who got by me first was waiting in the 'check in' line, but then hopped to the other line and piggybacked through the door. At least I believe this is what happened, as I didn't see her. She was just "gone."

What wasn't gone was her blackberry. Once I had the crowd taken care of, and I noticed she never checked in, I looked back at where she was in the line, and there it was sitting on my desk. In her drunken planning of her sweet 'slip by the guard' she set her phone down. I picked it up, and stuck inside the phone holder was her drivers license. Awesome.

I ran her name through the computer to see if she had ever been in the building before, cause if she had and only visited one person, I could look that up and guess where she was. Unfortunately, she was a pretty popular girl and had visited many different people. So I had no way to predict who she was with.

Then the phone started ringing. I didn't answer. It rang again. From my experience, this is the friend she is with calling it to try and find it, now that she realizes that it's gone. It only come up as a first name, and not a name on her "previously visited" list, so it doesn't help me find where she is. I could just answer it, and say it's at the desk, but that would somewhat let her off the hook. She wouldn't be worried if I did that. Remember this girl snuck by me, which can get me fired. So I'm going to not answer and let her sweat a while.

It rings and rings, and after a while, two girls come down to my desk. I know that these are not the girls, because the girl who's ID I have is of eastern complexion with dark hair, while these girls are white blonds.

"Did you find a phone?" Blond Girl 1 asks.

"Yes, I did," I respond.

"Is it a Blackberry?" she asks.

"Yes, it is," I respond again. I am trying to keep a straight face and as monotone, matter of fact voice as possible.

"Has it been ringing off the hook?" she asks. "And is it ringing now?" she says as she hold up her phone making a call.

"Yes, and yes," I respond.

"Great!" says Blond Girl 2. "That's mine!"

"No, actually it's not," I reply. "It's this girls..." I say holding her ID. Their faces go south.

"OK, yeah, shes my friend, and shes upstairs in my room crying her eyes out cause she thinks her phone is lost. Can we please have it to give to her?" Blond Girl 2 asks.

"No," I respond. "But if you can send her down, I can give her her phone." They look at each other, knowing this isn't a good idea. Their friend isn't allowed in the building, so sending her down to the desk will get her caught. Plus the friend is drunk and now crying.

"Please, I give you my word we'll give it to her, shes really upset," Blond Girl 1 begs.

"No, but I'll hold it here at the desk. And give it to her with her ID," I said, crushing their hopes. They sulked back upstairs. About fifteen minutes went by, and I began to think that they had called my bluff. See, knowing that the phone is at the desk, and knowing that we have the ID of the owner, that phone isn't going anywhere. It's safe. The girl could easily stay all night, and get it on the way out in the morning. But I'm betting that the drunk girl won't think of that option.

After about twenty minutes, two girls come down. Blond Girl 1, and Phone Girl.

"Hi," says phone girl. "You have my phone and ID?"

"Yes I do," I respond, handing her the phone.

"Thank you so much sweety!" she says with a smile.

"Do you want to check in now?" I ask. Their smiles quickly fade.

"Um, yes I do," she responds.

"I'll need your overnight pass please," I ask. Her face is totally blank, that look of drunken "oh shit" when you realize you didn't completely think the plan through.

"I don't have one," she quietly says.

"Ah. Then I can't let you in. Here's your ID back," I said has I handed her back the ID.

"But, um, I don't have anywhere to go," she said.

"Yeah, shes stuck here!" Blond Girl 1 chimed in.

"Sorry," I responded.

Then I made her leave. Out into the rain at 3 a.m. Don't F with me kids. I'm not risking my job for you after you break the rules and get caught. You have to be nice and beg from the start...

World War II: When Nazi Zombies walked the Earth

2009-04-16T10:14:00.006-04:00

There are a few constants in this world you can count on. Night and Day, love and loss, authors using this same line to open a paragraph, and video games being made about World War II. For our generation no event has captured our imaginations and awe as a conflict that is enough removed that we have no memory, but not so much that we cannot interact with heroes and victims from it. I imagine when my grandchildren grow up; media will mimic the war or terror in the same way, although in my mind it will pale in comparison to the sudden burst of violence and destruction in such a short amount of time that was WWII.

None the less, Call of Duty: World at War thrusts us into WWII for the 17th time this year it feels like, but this really is a title that is worth the purchase. Carrying over virtually every interface and game play variant from the popular CofD4: Modern Combat, WaW picks up with ease, and adds to it a fresh new story and combat elements.

First I will point out my favorite aspect, which you may suspect by his large picture overhead. Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland voices one of the American characters in the game and I swoon every time he speaks. I think the Russian character is famous too, I just don’t know who it is.

So what is new about the game? First off, the co-op has expanded, in CofD4 I don’t think you could play co-op missions at all, but now you can play with 3 other buddies, very cool. Multiplayer is the same game it was before, just with new maps and weapons historically accurate to WWII of course. As always, the art design is beautiful and you end up getting blasted to death just wandering around and taking in the world created.

A new raved about multiplayer variant is available to you after beating the game. Akin to the Gears of War 2 “horde mode”, “Nazi Zombies” throws you in a barn and has you defend against well, Nazi zombies as they tear down planks on the windows and try to eat your souls. It’s fun, but not ground breaking by any means. Having only 1 map to play it on, save for buying more, also kind of sucks.

For me the game really shines in the missions. CofD has a knack for piecing together a tense, challenging and rich story that flows from one mission to another. Veteran mode still makes you want to throw your controller through the window, but when you get through a mission on V, you feel like your life is complete. Yet again they let us play in an airplane for a mission, one of the cool Black Cat amphibious planes, which was a lot of fun, and the tank mission as well proved to be a joy; who knew tanks had flamethrowers?

In the end WaW is gritty, dirty, bloody violence that has all the characteristics of a CofD game; Great sound design, great attention to weapon detail, fairly smart AI, and a lot of fun. Perhaps the one thing WaW has that shines a little more than previous CofD titles, is the moral message. The story really wants you to understand the weight and value of what occurred 50 some years ago; if you can stop enjoying the Nazi zombies for a minute that is.

Score: 3 out of 5 Kiefer's gritty sexy voices

Fantasy Hockey Season Review and the State of 3B Sports

2009-04-15T09:42:00.004-04:00

Well we bring to close another year, our seventh, of 3B fantasy sport activity. What began as dorm room smack talk has elevated to young professionals wasting time at work smack talk. We’ve seen a total of 30 players through 2 sports and 15 seasons played; this year being our inaugural Dynasty hockey and football seasons. Only Eric and I have been in every league holding the 3B title.

Where does the end of hockey leave us? First let me congratulate Medium on his first ever championship, finally getting out of his nasty 3rd place finish habit. His Sibir Novosibirsk are crowned our first ever Dynasty hockey champs, while Howie’s Dinamo Riga finish second after a ridiculous climb to the top of the regular season pile. Third place went to Andy’s Atlant Mytishchi, his third season in a row of scoring career points in hockey. Chris won as the 3rd seed, which surprisingly is not the lowest to ever have won hockey. In fact, the 4th seed has claimed the title 3 times. Korey has the honor of being our last place team and winning the Tavares lottery for next season.

In Traditional, Howie gets to play bridesmaid again, the first player to ever finish first or second in more than 1 season in a year. First place goes to Cover, securing his first ever 3B points in his 3rd season. Third place sees the always competitive Ken pick up another point.

The top of the 3B career points list didn’t change too much, Eric still sits first with 15, Korey second with 12, and Andy and Ken with 11. Howie did climb into 5th with 8 points, Chris into 7th with 7, and Cover leaps into 8th with 4.

Rookies this year include Jim Wolf in Dynasty hockey, and Brian Ardanowski, Amanda Horn and Sara Luichinger in Traditional hockey. Rookies in football this year included Dynasty runner-up Jonny Quinton and Greg Guy.

Performance percentage had a big shake-up with Cover claiming a title in his 3rd season. Ken remains above 100% with his point, while major movers were Medium with 4 points to grab an 87.5% and Howie’s double 2nd places moving him to the devil’s number of 66.67%. Naturally I dropped to 26.67%.

Next year promises to hold some excitement for us, as this summer brings our first ever offseason movement for our Dynasty teams, while Eric, Korey or Andy all have a chance to become our first ever 3 time champion.

And finally, how did my predictions go for the end of the hockey seasons? For Traditional I called Sara’s ilikebacon over Cover’s High Glove Side in the finals. High Glove Side ended up winning it all over Howie’s Winnipeg Jets. Sara lost in the semifinal. So I blew that one.

In Dynasty I was vague but kind of right. I called my Spartak against Andy’s Atlant if I remained healthy. I didn’t and as I guessed, Medium and Howie could have pounced in there. They both faced off in the finals and Medium won. My big mistake was calling Cover to miss the playoffs, as he made the semis and finished in 4th overall.

Once again, thanks for a terrific year of fantasy guys, congrats to our winners and enjoy the offseason games coming up this summer! As always you can see the history of all the leagues, career points and dynasty rules on our web page. Also please feel free to become a "follower" on the right side of the blog page.

FOCUS!

2009-04-14T11:38:00.006-04:00

So it's finals season again. Things have changed though from my days at MSU. I actually have a group to study with for one of my harder classes: Physics. And the others I've found myself taking notes, doing ungraded homework, and even studying more than just an hour the night before an exam. Well on my way to another 3.5 and up semester. But some things don't change easily. I have an 8-10 page report due a week from Thursday that I've hardly even started thinking about, the rough draft of which was due two weeks ago.

Sadly I can see myself falling into the same trappings I do whenever I'm tasked with a long paper. Every time I think about it, all I see is the full bulk of it looming over me ominously.

I understand this is bad. I need to separate myself from the total mass of the paper and just start chipping away at it. There's time too. I have before me a monumental opportunity. Over a week before this report is due, I have nearly a full day to work on it. I could even get it completely written and (brace yourself) actually be able to revise it before the due date. I never do that! Typically I put it off, or stare at a blank Word document until hours before it's due. Then I drop all refinement and simply begin vomiting content onto the screen, too tired to care about its completeness or flow. That usually earns me a B+/A-, so what's the harm?

If all I wanted was a grade, then there is none. A couple hours worth of sleep lost the night before is a pretty fair exchange for an A-. But dammit! What do I actually learn? What happens when I'm actually counted on to write something good, and my ability to move up in a job depends on me being able to do better then a poor A-? Not to mention that I actually WANT to be proud of my work.....*sigh*. So that's where I am right now. I realize this isn't a terribly interesting blog, but I have some hope that by confessing my detestable literary ways I might find the strength to change. I do have control over my own will don't I?

Sweet Zombie Jesus, I need a subletter

2009-04-10T14:25:00.003-04:00

Really? Seether covered George Michael? Come on, I know the world is supposed to end in 2012 or something, but this is a little too apocalyptic for being 3 years out still.

So I have great friends who offered to let me move into a wonderful situation, in a great part of Baltimore, for a great price. I could live the charmed life all summer and save a load of cash for my house I am hunting. Naturally life does not like me, so things are more complicated than just moving.

The long and short of it is I have a year lease expiring in September and I cannot get out of it unless I find a new tenant. I was lied to by a former employee and I failed to have any documentation to back up what kind of out clause I thought I had, and life sucks.

Lets see if my post can generate any renting interest. We’ll sprinkle a few key words here for search engines..

BALTIMORE
RENTING
APARTMENT
$960
1 BEDROOM
QUIET
ROOMY
SEX
BOOBS
MILEY CYRUS

That should be worth a few hits.

If you found your way here and want a pretty cool apartment in Elkridge, MD; comment already. I’ll leave my fire extinguisher and a 6 pack behind when I move.

Happy Easter to those who find some significance in the chocolate hording holiday… Ima go find me a Cadbury chicken and chain that mo-fo up.

Fixed economy? No. Fixed team spirit? Check!

2009-04-08T10:01:00.005-04:00

On Christmas morning, some children get nothing. In fact, all the world over, the vast majority of children probably get nothing. Now yea, most of them do not celebrate Christmas, but this post isn’t about religion. What it is about are those kids, that probably make up the top one percent of all kids in the world, who get a race car, or a pony, or something huge, but whine because it’s the wrong color. If you are a Michigan State Spartan and you are pissed off that we did not win the national title, this is you, ya spoiled brat.

We got an incredible gift this year, we went so much further than many thought we could, and experienced some incredible games. Beating the reigning national champs? Check. Blowing out the #1 overall seed in the tourney? Check. Beating a big top seed in the final four on our home turf of Detroit setting up a party for thousands? Check. All we missed out on was the last dance, the last celebration. These things happen, but ya know what, we are still better off than some millions of other fans out in the college basketball universe.

I applaud and thank our Spartan warriors profusely for this gift of March. I yelled, I jumped, I paced, I yelled some more… a lot more, and I loved every second of it. We will be favored to return next year, and I look forward to doing it all again.

Go Green! Go White! Go State!

Zombies CAN ride dirt bikes!

2009-03-26T12:08:00.003-04:00

Man I love me some zombies. For Christmas I was given a how to survive zombie attacks set of flash cards and after reading, I felt pretty assured I knew what was what. In leading up to the days of Resident Evil 5, Damman argued with me that the game had no zombies, as I hysterically screamed about dirt bike riding zombies from the trailer. Well since my play through, applying my flash card knowledge, I do have to say this is not a “zombie” game, and it is also not a typical Resident Evil game. A lot of purists have been in an uproar over this; I, well, I have enjoyed the product and I’ll be so kind as to tell you why.

RE5 pretty much abandons survival horror like an unwanted child at the mall. No mention of it, no remorse for it, the game just went a different way. This is a shooter… where you can’t actually shoot while you move. Let us call it a “Stand Still Shooter with Inventory Management.” I think that does nicely. I ate this up. I loved the story, I loved the enemies, I thought the levels were varied and unique. Puzzles pleasurable and simple. The variety of weapons ridiculous (more later) and the cooperative experience joyous.

For me, co-op has become the new drug. Damman has become my new video game BFF as we have sought out new ways to constantly annoy each other while achieving a common goal. RE5 provides another way for one person to be all brain, and another to use hap-hazard brawn. (take a guess who is who.) The inventory management allowing you to trade items with your partner creates a fun interplay between who takes what on a given level and what strategies you want to use for a given boss.

The dialog, as Damman explains, is typical RE, very cheesy. Hell by the end of the game, my very first RE experience, I could guess a line before they said it. As I eluded to before, however, the story was fun. It may do a horrible job of trying to explain the history of RE, but as a stand-alone, it won me over.

The replay value for this title is immense. The un-lockable weapons, costumes, special items and game modes make for a unique kind of treasure hunt. I went back through after my first run through and hunted for all the emblems, treasure and missed goodies from before, searching for the kind of completion of a game I rarely desire. Some may call this achievement whoring, some may be disinterested in it. The blank fact is my game clock was about 11 hours to beat it, and I’ve logged another 6 just hunting for things now. Entertainment value is entertainment value folks.

End of the day, this isn’t really RE5 as much as it is RE-a new way to play. It was hella fun, I am going to play some more, a lot more, and I hope to horde all of your magnum ammo in game sometime if you ever play with me too.

Score: 4 out of 5 “Damn it Jason, you blew me up again!”s

Deviant art image stolen from haruningster

Ramblings of a Madman: Get those damn words offa my yard!

2009-03-25T00:47:00.008-04:00

This concept that I'm thinking about right now has no beginning or end. If anything it's really just a never ending loop so I guess I'll drop us in at random point x and damn the consequences!

Are video games art? Yes. No? Well why not? Roger Ebert doesn't think so. He's a pretty bright guy I suppose....he does watch alot of movies. Honestly I don't really care anymore. This does of course imply that at one point I did (which is sadly true), but I'm over it. Anyway, art. Clearly art is this special club that only a specified class of things can call themselves. That's a pretty vague definition, but I really don't know how else to define something that applies to Don Quixote, Citizen Kane, and hunks of metal twisted together in the shape of hunks of metal.

So at this point you might be thinking you've figured out my point. How can something as completely worthless as Citizen Kane be considered art while video games get the shaft? Well you're wrong! I have no grievances surrounding what any one wants to claim as art. My grief here is reserved for people "defining" things. We give things names so that we can identify them to each other through means slightly more helpful than pointing and grunting (imagine if you pointed and grunted and everyone just looked at the tip of your finger).

But it wasn't enough just to label individual things, we had to categorize them too. TVs and computers are ELECTRONICS, lawyer and doctor are OCCUPATIONS, hilariously awkward roommates and green dinosaur sidekicks are BABYBOPS. For the most part it is functional. Communication errors are numerous and frustrating but if you've been able to understand more than half the words in this post I call this language phenomenon a rousing success.

So we're good so far. We have names for things. We have categories to put those names in. We even have categories to put the categories in. What happens then when we start getting new things? Who decides when they can join an existing category? Is the term "art" frozen in a certain time so that everything coming after it has to find it's own new category? I don't know about you but I'd say dictionaries are pretty damn heavy already. Not to mention that (according to Wikipedia) "art" was coined sometime before 1750. Who won the Oscar that year?

What it comes down to I suppose is that we assign meaning not just to the things in our lives, but the words too. I consider myself a pretty open-minded, accepting person, but when someone says "this is gay", I know that they probably mean it's bad or lame or disagreeable with them in some way. Hell, what do "bad" and "lame" mean anyway? If you ask me, there's only one word that completely and reliably defines exactly what we associate it with...."thing".

Mmmm tastes like bullshit

2009-03-24T12:43:00.003-04:00

So I have enjoyed recently, news articles popping up over the backlash against the Acai berry from Brazil. The commercials and billboards and Oprah propaganda about the berry that will “grow your hair back, drop your gut 10 pounds, cure cancer, increase sexual potency” had gotten a little lame.

People were shelling out $80-$90 to buy this stuff and ingest it like it was cocaine. In reality, every berry has antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties. Fruit in general is good for you. Not one study has ever said Acai or any fruit can cure cancer or do anything a multivitamin cannot. The fact is, it only took one genius to say “Hey, Americans don’t know about this South American fruit, lets tell them it will help you grow bigger breasts!”

Tell you what; I have a miracle drug of my own. I swear to your god that if you drink my product more and other beverages less, you will:

Lose weight
Have clearer skin
Feel refreshed
Live longer
And just about anything else that ails you.

.
.
.
.

It’s called water assholes.

Slightly more competent than three little pigs

2009-03-12T10:35:00.003-04:00

First off, I have really enjoyed Newman’s series “Night Shift,” I encourage you to read it if you have not. The series is now available on the right side link bar along with a few others.

Now the topic at hand; I am attempting to grow up. The biggest thing a man can do in life outside of produce life, is put a solid roof over his head, and this is my goal this year. I currently sit in what I perceive to be a stable job, or at least comparatively to everyone else I converse with, more stable than average in today’s climate. I live in a community I have grown affectionate to, and I am sick and tired of throwing rent money away.

I have received more advice than I know what to do with on this situation. Advice from those who have purchased, and those who have done more research on purchasing than I, yet never have. The simple fact remains however, I know no one who has ever purchased in this violent economic climate.

Two sides to this issue are solid facts I, nor any opposed party can dispute: This is a fantastic time to buy, and I have absolutely no wiggle room financially if I fail somehow. The primary motivation for me to do this is long term benefit. I have in my current life, no real way to build equity and wealth. One way to naturally begin building that is to remove the $1,000 I dump monthly and $12k yearly into rent, and instead invest in a home I can return value on some day, thus building equity. This is the path advised to me by my employers, and this is the path many mentors have recommended for me. But let us break down some positives and negatives…

Pros of buying now:

Save equity versus wasting rent.
Build stronger credit.
$8,000 tax credit on my 2009 return.
Lowest fixed rate mortgages in a decade.
Best buyers’ market in my lifetime.

Cons of buying now:

I have a max of 5% to put down.
No cushion to fall on if I lose my job.
Foreclosure problems > missing rent.
Uncertain about career in 5 to 10 years.
No ability to run back home to Michigan.

So there are five for each. I tend to really like the pros, and do not fear most of the cons. I have a lot of faith in myself though, and always have. Quite honestly, I’ve always gotten by and overcome my hurdles and found a way, and feel I can here as well. I respect the cons though, so I list them and evaluate them. The biggest issue for me is not risk of foreclosure. I will have a total monthly due for my home (including tax) that equals slightly above my rent, keeping in mind my pay ticks up semiannually. My biggest issue is being locked into Baltimore. I love it here, but you never know. I am of the mind that this is one of the best job areas I could be in, with a doable commute to D.C. as well. It is certainly a better situation than Michigan.

I welcome your thoughts as I approach this, I am moving slow and heeding advice from professionals and from my friends. I think the advice I welcome most though, are the words from those who not only see the pros and cons, but also know the mental makeup of the one you affectionately call Fucko.

Night Shift: Windy City

2009-03-11T06:48:00.004-04:00

So tonight, Chicago is suffering from strong winds, including gusts up to 50 MPH. This makes walking around very fun...

I am in a building tonight with doors on both the east and west sides of the lobby. Due to the winds, whenever a student opens the doors on the east side, they stay blown open and never close. Besides thwarting our security scan system (why scan to unlock a wide open door) this also causes a pressure situation in the lobby which makes it very difficult to open the west doors. So even when the kids scan and unlock those doors, they pull and pull and remain trapped outside. I am then accused of "locking" them outside, to which I can only suggest a better gym workout plan.

The most recent side effect of the wind is that with the doors constantly being open, the lobby has gotten very cold (it is currently 21 degrees with a wind chill of 4). To solve this, I was given a space heater which quickly tripped the circuit breakers and shut off my computer security workstation. So things are going well...

Night Shift: Can't Stay Here

2009-03-10T05:10:00.003-04:00

My excitement for the night just ended with two kids being sent out into the rain. Tonight I'm in a building with a sweet lounge for students to hang out in. When I got back from my lunch break, there were a bunch of students hanging out and playing videogames. After a while, they all packed it in, turned off the lights, and left. I sat here at the desk looking at Google Reader for at least an hour and a half, when all of a sudden I heard a loud snort from the dark room. I went to investigate, and there were two kids crashing on the couches in there. I called it in, and officers came over to check on the kids (often these kids might be passed out drunk, etc.) These guys went and explained that they were up visiting some friends, but not allowed to stay with them. "Well you can't stay here!" they were told.

After checking their IDs, and allowing them to make some phone calls to try and wake a friend (to no avail) they were escorted out of the building. I believe they are now hanging out under the train tracks up the road... It's raining pretty hard.

For a second, I felt bad, but then I thought "What idiots come to Chicago with no plan on where they might stay? Welcome to the real world..."

Night Shift: She Caused AIDS

2009-03-04T07:36:00.005-05:00

I have started working the night shift in Chicago. It seems to alternate between crazy and totally boring... I basically sit at a desk and deal with college students.

I thought it could lead to a fun new series on this blog, so I'll be calling it Night Shift. It's frequency will depend on the entertainment value of the people I am watching, so if nothing is posted for a while, blame college students in Chicago for not drinking enough...

That said, this was something I overheard the other night from a girl talking to friends about her roommate: "I hate (roommate's name). She caused AIDS. She caused AIDS, and cancer, and global warming..."

Buccigross said something smart!

2009-03-03T17:44:00.003-05:00

Normally I hate John Buccigross, but my hatred for him doesn't come close to my hatred for NFL celebrations (perhaps you remember my past work). So when Bucci mentioned this little beauty in his most recent editorial on ESPN.com, I was more than thrilled:

"Malkin has a similar boyishness [compared to Ovechkin] in his interactions with teammates and the way he plays the game with wild abandonment. He is not a freight train or rock star like Ovechkin, but he, too, acts like a 5-year-old on Christmas morning when he scores a goal. It is not the contrived, third-rate end zone skit of an NFL receiver, but a reflex of pure joy. From Russia, with love."

State of the Union on 3B Fantasy Sports.. and Fantasy Hockey Predictions

2009-02-25T09:33:00.005-05:00

Well that time of the year has come where fantasy hockey is about to turn into playoff fantasy hockey, and I am just fine with that. A few months ago our football seasons ended, and as I mentioned before, some re-ranking of our career players had naturally occurred. For the first time since then I have re-upped the Performance Percentage to see who has done the most with the least amount of effort… I shockingly remain an abysmal doofus.

The obvious outlying performer for now is Mr. Quinton, who in his first and only Dynasty Football season racked up 2 points for second place. His 200% is one of those rare anomalies we can document and appreciate, but will be astronomically hard to maintain. Outside of his above-par performance, Ken, Eric, and Korey maintain percentages above 100.

While Greg has only 1 season in which he won nothing, albeit he made the 3rd place game, there are no historically active players with a 0 percentage any longer. Newman’s big 3rd place finish gives him a round 10 percent, and Ford leaps several with a victory to claim 40 percent.

I think I will make some predictions for how hockey will end up at the end of the season.

In the Traditional hockey league, 3 teams sit above 300 points and 3 sit between 296 and 293. I think these 6; ilikebacon, High Glove Side, Hockey Team, O-Pee-Chee, Ohio Sucks!, and the Winnipeg Jets go to the playoffs.

ilikebacon is the most likely to win it all, probably going in as the first overall seed. Carrying Alex Ovechkin and Backstrom of the Caps, ‘bacon has over 10 wins in every offensive category save for shorties. So I think the finals will be the bacon over the streaking High Glove Side. My team, O-Pee-Chee, is too inconsistent to run the playoffs.

If ilikebacon were to pull it off, Sara would be our first ever female to score points or win a league.

On the Dynasty Hockey side, some very tight competitive play has seen I think 5 or 6 different 1st place teams this year. A favorite has to be New Andy’s Atlant Mytishchi. Andy is the current back to back champion of hockey, and in great form again this year, tied for 1st with Howie’s Dynamo Riga at 315 points. Atlant has the stronger set of players and goaltending for the stretch, and will make the finals.

It is a seven team race for the playoffs, with the 5th through 7th sitting on 286-284 in points. I predict the odd team out of the run to be the very dominant early in the season Avangard Omsk Oblast, managed by Cover. He’s just dropped too many weeks as of late.

Finals match-up, I think again Alex Ovechkin will have a lot to say, pushing my HC Spartak Moscow up against Atlant. Big big big big IF will be if Ryan Miller gets healthy. Goaltending injuries could drop me and Dynamo or Medium’s Sibir Novosibirsk may pounce.

We’ll see who is in the run in just about 3 weeks.

When I was your age, I played in a closet

2009-02-24T09:26:00.002-05:00

Retro gaming, god I love it. Damman mentioned last night that with our respective bouts of retro fever, he picking up the new Street Fighter and myself opting for the Sega Genesis collection, we were both feeling like kids again. I mentioned I always feel like a child, then corrected myself and opted for the more appropriate “I always ACT like a child.” None the less, I enjoyed my walk down memory lane to the tune of $30 and figured we could have a chat about it.

Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection on the 360 has a tremendous 40 titles from what I could gather was 1988-1995. Filled with every Sonic game, Streets of Rage Game, Phantasy Star, and even Ecco 1 and 2, it’s a big piece of nostalgia. Plugging the game in to a CD drive does not give the same satisfaction of snapping a cartridge into a port, but once it booted and I heard the muted “Seeeegaaaaaaa” come out the speakers, I knew I was home.

For me, my Genesis years were spent in a closet. Stop the jokes, I really mean a closet, not a figurative one. I shared a bedroom with my brother and in it we had a closet about 12 feet long and 4 feet deep. In the back corner we stuffed a tiny TV, our Genesis (and later my Sega CD) and a bean bag chair. Many an hour was spent hiding away in that corner conquering the kind of cartoonish villains today’s games seem to have drifted away from. I thought for a moment about stuffing my 47” into my tiny closet at home and playing, but realized that just was not gonna work. Ahh progress.

I’ll give the Collection an A+ for throwback effort as the menu of the disc does its best to replicate the top down look of a Sega. Scrolling through the 40 titles is easy, as you can sort alphabetically, by year, or genre. I jumped right into Sonic the Hedgehog and realized I blow. Seriously, today’s games have made me so nervous about crossing a platformer screen, I did not possess the speed and prowess needed to even complete Act I. From here I moved onto Sonic Spinball, and had a blast remembering how much I cursed this game in the past. The difference today is I possess a greater amount of curse words which to use.

What I really need, is my brother here so we can beat Streets of Rage in 3 hours flat, and then move onto some Golden Axe. What the Collection needs is to cut the crap with this “Now in HD!!” selling point. Look, I don’t know what you did to tweak these games and say they are HD now; the sound is still 16 bit, graphics are 16 bit, and you have to pattern out the extra 6 inches of space on my cinematic TV because they are still 4:3 games. Just sell the collection for what it is, nostalgia, and forget trying to sex it up.

Overall, I want to march through the first level of each of these classics and feel like a kid again. My only hope is that someday when I have children, my 13th Xbox 360 might still be alive and I can show them what daddy used to play when he was in the closet.

Score: 3 out of 5 mountain dew fueled adolescent gaming parties

The Album You Missed: Blink-182

2009-02-09T10:19:00.004-05:00

(The Album You Missed is a recurring feature which describes a great album from the past that well, you might have missed and should probably go out and listen to. Seriously, just even download it on-line, it will take you 6 minutes.)

Sorry for the lack of posting, I can’t fathom how busy I have been as of late. Work and life (although I am quite happy with the latter taking up more time) have kept me hectic as of late. This post itself is fairly poorly written, but I am too excited about recent events to put off this post till I have more time to really do it. So without further delay, I present you with an album I am so stoked to be re-evaluating right now, the 2004 self titled release, Blink 182.

As many of you know, Blink announced a revival of the band this week at the Grammys. For myself, no other band save for Green Day, has had the effect on musical taste as Blink has. I could not be more pumped for this re-union. One thing that amps up the joy is the note the band released via their web site stating they would be picking up the new album right where they left off with the last, their 2004 self titled release. This is fantastic news, because as you will learn, this album presented the pinnacle of Blink 182’s sound and musical evolution.

Following on 4 albums of pop-punk, potty humor, and skate-punk culture, Blink evolved with a ground breaking, mature album. The first single Feeling This didn’t break too far from the prior mold of Blink music, but the critically acclaimed, I Miss You changed the perception of the band greatly, topping out at #42 on the Billboard Hot 100. I Miss You became a ballad built on class and elegance, pulling at emotions prior Blink songs never had. Other singles Down and Always built on this more mature and serious tone for Blink, adding to the notion the band could now seriously write music, and not just jokes.

Naturally, true Blink fans knew the band could write and knew the boys could thrash before all this. Travis Barker remains the best drummer in the genre, and Tom and Mark flow together like captain and coke. The rest of Blink 182 carried gems like the Robert Smith featured All of This, the head thrashing Violence, and instrumental powered The Fallen Interlude. Each song carried lyrical weight, messages about love, family, war and peace that no track in the band’s history ever quite accomplished.

Now with Travis recovered from a tragic plane crash, and the hatchet between the three buried, we can only hope to be reunited with the music they were just starting to learn to create. I implore you to go out and listen to this one, prepare for the gifts you are about to receive from the kings of pop-punk.

Score: 5 out of 5 enemas

Time to bring the pizazz back to Detroit

2009-02-01T22:07:00.004-05:00

So this has been on my mind for awhile, but really was chipped into my head this weekend. The Red Wings are old. Ironic considering I just watched three Grand Rapids call ups play and score in the Wings versus Capitals game this weekend, which Medium and other friends joined me in D.C. for. The Caps won 4-2, and they won thanks to three goals from two electrifying young players, Alex Ovechkin and Mike Green. Now when I call the Wings old, I don't mean the players, I mean the organization, the owners, the mindset.

I write this tonight (during a really boring Super bowl) to hopefully better my beloved Wings. I think it is time to take a fresh look at how the team markets and sells its product to the fans. Detroit and Michigan is mired in a horrid economic downturn and people claim this is why the Joe is empty even during the Stanley Cup finals. I think with a different look at how you display the greatest team in the world to the fans, some of that can change. The perfect example of how to market a hockey team? The Washington Capitals.

When I was home for Thanksgiving, I saw a first in my life. A token female "Crowd Pleaser." This is the girl they have roaming the crowd during stoppage of play, giving away gifts and food on the big screen with trivia and random drawings. These crowd pleasers are designed to draw people to a game with more of a chance to win bonus value from their presence. The Red Wings are a part of the NHL's vanguard. One of the original six, second most ever in cups, the best player ever, the best captain ever, the best defensemen ever. Gimmicks don't fly here. No dancers, no crowd pleasers please.

Most teams have this type of roamer now, I get this, The Caps have it too. What the Capitals do that the Wings don't however, is market their stars. Alex O is all over D.C. Buses, buildings, tattoos. Yzerman was once on a building, but what now? The Capitals make you feel as if their young stars are superheros. What happens after a goal? The crowd is witness to an animated hero of their player on the big screen. AO scores, and the "Russian Machine" takes the jumbo; Mike Green, he becomes the Incredible Hulk; Backstrom morphs into Thor. Real life heroes marketed as fictional heroes, the crowd loves it, it builds the persona.

The team tries its damnedest to make you connect and love the players on a personal level as well. Copying down to the on screen graphics and camera style, is the "Caps Cribs" intermission show. The young players show off their homes, cars and an abundant amount of personality.

These are simple things, but they have a point. They build emotion, they build a connection beyond the stat sheet and overly boring post game interviews. The Red Wings may feel that simply by being the Wings, they should be loved and admired, and the true red and white do, lord knows I do. Why not build off of that base though? How much do we really know about Pavel, Lids, or Z? Happy Huds is hilarious when we get any kind of a look at him. Surely there must be ways to make our Detroit heroes seem bigger than just players, something more than just athletes, something that Detroit can embrace maybe just a margin more than they do now.

This may never change while Mike the pizza man owns the team, and I love the way he runs it, but I wish he would take a little inspiration from one of the youngest, fastest, and most animated teams in the league, and market our team, stars and history with a little more pizazz then a glorified puck bunny giving away free hair cuts.

There is no excuse for me

2009-01-26T22:08:00.005-05:00

I have been bad. I have not posted in forever. I am sorry to all three of you. Really though, I've been nutso busy and I have no excuse except that it involves work, friends, booze, cheap women, a classy woman, and sleep. I also jumped in a frozen ocean, but I'll let you sort that all out.

In lieu of a real post I give you this funny photo, and wish you a good night and week, because I won't be writing until after Medium and I visit the Red Wings in D.C. this weekend.

Maybe Damman will get off his ass and write something.

Your Mass has an Effect on me

2009-01-16T13:05:00.003-05:00

I am driven to review a game from last year, primarily because I did not review anything on this blog prior to a few months ago and this one deserves it. Now I tend to give my opinion on matters which I feel could help others make decisions, or experience something new/fun/life affirming. Far be it from me to ever expect a video game, album or beer to do these… wait… no, I think those ARE exactly what could change a life. So without further adieu, Mass Effect.

I completed M.E. in November of ’07. Lately I have been inundated with new games, so many in fact, a whole month was renamed. I still have quite a few on the shelf to play. Oh hello there Bioshock. Yes I know you were the game of the year in 2007. Yes I know I still have not opened you. Yes, Yes, whatever. For some reason, I have no desire to open the new ones, and since I cannot find NHL 2009 at any fuckin store in Baltimore, I went back to Mass Effect for a second go.

M.E. is what they now call an action RPG. Unlike a Japanese RPG, when you have girlish looking male characters that stand in a line and take turns combating opponents, an ARPG plays like an action game, while still giving you inventory management, experience points, and upgrades. Mass Effect presents a dizzying amount of each, for upwards of six crew members on your space ship. Yes, given that there is a space ship, this game is in space. Humanity joins galactic alliance, thing threatens humanity, you discover thing threatens the entire galaxy, you save the galaxy. Pretty simple.

Mass Effect shines and deserves my second play through, and maybe your first, for a few reasons. #1, there is hot human on alien sex.

Oh, you still need more? Ok, fine. The game bleeds dialog. Not only do you get the voice acting of the guy who did the Navy “Get a life” or whatever it said commercials, but you get a lot of really talented voice work saying hours and hours of words. This really does equal a complex story, and a deep universe back story. If you take the time to read the notes, listen to the characters, hours of game play can become hours of story time.

The universe is a fun, fresh take on space. I like the mechanics of space exploration, and species interaction. The story is mapped out in a way you can go do a lot of side things, or follow the main plot. It is nothing that has not been done before, but it made it feel unique and new.

The bad? Horrid pop-in graphics as each scene loads, really dumb driving missions, and idiotic enemy AI. The downloadable story missions from XBL were not really worth play either.

When all is said and done, Mass Effect is THE game that got me into RPG playing, and is worth a shot. It was worth me spending some lunch time writing about, and worth you picking up for $19.99 in the bargain bin.

Score: 4 out of 5 hot lesbian alien sex scenes

The Album You Missed: Forget What You Know

2009-01-14T21:12:00.006-05:00

(The Album You Missed is a recurring feature which describes a great album from the past that well, you might have missed and should probably go out and listen to. Seriously, just even download it on-line, it will take you 6 minutes.)

Some albums will stick with you forever, push you to explore new, similar sounds, or cause you to rethink what you thought you knew. For me, Forget What You Know did this. Midtown had been around the scene for a good while when this 2004 release came out on Columbia. The release would be the band's first off of Drive-Thru records, and ultimately their last. The New Jersey quartet made one hell of an impact with their third full length though, and it is one you shouldn't miss.

The two part guitar laden harmonies that the band came to be known for stick with them into this disc, but maturity in both voice, production and content was a new asset. From the first full track To Our Savior, you get the gist of the LP. Dark themes about love, family, and friends are the messages found in every line. The second track, Give It Up, will be well known to video game fans as it appeared in Madden 2005 and Burnout 3. The track would also be Midtown's only chart achieving song, reaching #32 on the US Modern Rock list.

Creativity in composition reached new highs for the group with God Is Dead, Nothing Is Ever What It Seems, Manhattan and the closing track So Long As We Keep Our Bodies Numb. The last 15 minutes or so of the album, all on the finale track, are worth every second. Some of the highlight, toe tapping hits on this beauty along with Give It Up are Empty Like The Ocean and Hey Baby, Don't You Know. In the end, there are 14 tracks, and 14 reasons this is one album you just cannot afford to miss.

Score: 5 out of 5 Zechs

Like a movie but better cause it has a real bimbo

2009-01-13T09:50:00.004-05:00

Where is Joe the Plumb… Reporter when we need him? It appears the financial crisis has broken the mind-goo of its first villain. This guy, Marcus Schrenker, was a big shot “wealth management” advisor who could possibly have to answer questions posed by the SEC (not the football conference) about shady happenings.

Mr. Schrenker, pictured there with his trophy blonde, fled the state of Indiana and attempted to fake his own death by crashing his plane in Florida. His one fatal flaw was actually showing his real drivers license to authorities when he emerged from a swamp, saying he was in a canoeing accident. Then he checked into a hotel under a fake name, and then split. He is now on the run from the government, with all of his assets frozen.

This would totally make for a bad ass Fugitive 3, or did they already do one of those? Either way, all we need is him to come out with some great line like “The kid with the glass eye stole your investments!” That would make a great movie.

In all reality, I hope this guy dies in the swamp. I think nothing would be more fitting than the assholes who ruined so many lives thanks to their greed, ended up offing themselves in ridiculous ways that provide the most entertainment for the populous.

Tune into CNN, MSNBC, or your favorite news channel with some popcorn and enjoy this one. It is like a free movie.

Details on the story via Gawker.

In further news, I apparently was bitten by a monster spider or something, and my elbow is like the size of a friggin baseball. If I die, cremate me and sprinkle my ashes in Joe Louis Arena. Do it! You would totally get on the news.

Dig it deep please.

2009-01-12T16:49:00.003-05:00

Holy shit. I need to buy a bomb shelter. Hold on. I do not own any land to place said shelter. YOU buy a shelter, and dig it in nice and deep. After doing this, please invite me over. I’ll bring the beer.

Why the panic? Remember “Joe the Plumber?” America’s favorite conservative talking point in the race for president? Yea, he happens to be a war correspondent now and is over in Gaza telling everyone that they shouldn’t report on wars and that if anyone punched him, he’d kick their ass.

This is why the world hates us. Shit like this.

This is why I need a bomb shelter.

CNN link to all the good quoties.

Even old dogs learn new tricks

2009-01-09T12:15:00.009-05:00

Many of you may know that I am currently underwhelmed with my job. A lot of that has to do with my current rotation. (A real quick explanation to those I don't always talk to: I am essentially in an engineering training position. Every few months I go to a new office to work under a new boss in a new part of MDOT.) Most of my rotations have been, while not exactly outstanding, enough to keep me occupied. A few of them have been great, allowing me to use actual knowledge I gained in college and at times even challenging me. The one that I leave today... has been far less than stellar. It involved no complex thinking whatsoever and, for the most part, consisted of me driving around and around Macomb County measuring and taking inventory of various aspects of the state roads.

So, begining Monday I head off to a new task; the reason why I'm actually writing this post. I will be working to develop and implement a Pavement History Database. I know, sounds pretty boring. It honestly probably will be. But the part that excites me is that this doesn't really exist yet in MDOT. It's new.I get to figure out what works best, what information is important, how to gather it and format it.

You see.. Civil Engineering is a very old profession. 99% of the things we do have been done before (obviously this isn't true for the R&D aspect of the profession, but that's not where I am). Even when you are doing something as complicated as design work on a bridge, there are several accepted ways to go about calculating what you need to do. There is a generally accepted way of documenting your work. And there is somebody who has done it all before who can point you in the right direction or determine if you're completely wrong. So the fact that I have found a task, even a small one, that has not been done before in my organization.... is pretty exciting to me.

Oh, I have to add something. There is a webcomic I have been reading the past week or so called xkcd. The author is, I am guessing, some sort of grad student in math/programming/electrical engineering or some related field. I came across this comic and could not help but appreciate it. Please note, for every comic there is a rollover caption. I sent it to Damman and his reply made me laugh: Does this validate you? Am I giving him too much credit if I assume he meant "Hey, you shouldn't need webcomics to feel good about your job". Regardless of what Damman meant, I do not worry about appreciating engineering. I don't want to sound like I am bragging, but there are seriously very few things in the civilized world that have not been touched by engineers. What I do worry is that we (engineers) are sometimes the only ones who realize and appreciate that.

(Just so nobody takes this the wrong way... by no means am I attempting to downplay the importance of anyone else's occupations. Obviously I realize that we all do our parts to make the world what it is.)

How Champions Move

2009-01-08T16:51:00.003-05:00

OK I shall begin with an overdue pat on the back for my former roomie, Ninja Monk teammate, and new 3B Fantasy Leagues Career Points leader… Eric Goedtel!

Yes, with his Traditional Football league win, he thrusts (we can all picture him thrusting past Korey) ahead of Baby Bop by 3 points, 15 to 12. Ken (who placed 2nd on the season) and Andy sit tied overall in career points at 10, with Andy taking the 3rd ranking thanks to having 2 Championships to Ken’s 1.

Once again, this year we had three first time point recipients. Mike pulled off the inaugural Dynasty Football league win over newcomer Jonny, who gets 2 points for his first ever season, making him the leading percentage leader with a 200% value. Newman also secured his first point with a 3rd place victory in the same Dynasty league. And of course following my horrible semi-final choice of QB, I racked up a point for 3rd place in Traditional, giving me an astounding 4 points in 13 seasons, good for 11th in the rankings. No one can ever say this commish cheated.

So in evaluating our nerd prowess, my brother (who sits right below me at 12th overall, king of 3rd place finishes) and I pondered moves per season. Do champions draft well, manage well, or just get lucky with their auto-drafts and ignored rosters? Well I think soon I’ll break down that stat on a slow day and look at it. But here is some food for thought. Ken, when he won his hockey championship in 2005, had a 3B Leagues record of 83 ridiculous roster moves. In 2007 he finished second in the league and moved a season high, and 2nd over all for 3B, 62 times.

The lowest total of moves to ever win anything? Slick Nick’s 2003 Football team with 5 goddamn moves the whole year. His abomination of a team was 6-8 at regular seasons end. As the 7th seed he upset #2 Andy, #3 Eric, and #4 Korey en route to his stolen championship.

The lowest move total ever to have any kind of success was Bill Hard in 2006’s hockey league. With one brilliant move I wish I could see, he finished .500 on the season and took 4th place in the playoffs.

Six players in our league’s history have made zero moves on a season, all of them finishing out of the playoffs, and half finishing dead last in the leagues. Newman in 2003 Hockey, Newman and Dave in 2004 Football, Lindsay in 2005 Football, Pat in 2006 Hockey and Newman in 2007 Hockey. Newman my friend, there is some explanation as to why you took so long to get 1 point.

All of these fun point stats as well as complete archives of our leagues can be found on the 3B Fantasy sports home page. Food for your clickity click thoughts.

From AO to Z, hockey is full of heroes and the world full of villians

2009-01-08T10:26:00.005-05:00

Excuse me while I rant about sports for a moment. Actually, this is about much more than sports, it is an open inquiry into honor, heart, ethics, crime and of course, hockey.

I will begin with a story I heard about Alex Ovechkin this morning.

There is a man, aged forty some years, who is a tremendous hockey fan. He lives in Buffalo and for the most part is a Sabres fan, but Alex O is his top dog. This man used to be an avid player himself, but a degenerative disease, I believe MS, keeps him from that passion now. He fills his time playing fantasy hockey, and Alex is his star recruit.

This man decides to write Ovie, and tells him his life story and how much Ovie inspires him. At the end he asks pleasantly and simply enough for an autographed picture. Time passes; nothing is heard back, and then one day the phone rings. A man from the Sabres has called with the message that Alex Ovechkin has left a package for this guy with the Sabres and has instructed them to give it to him ASAP. AO himself will check back in to be sure he gets it. Well sure enough, the man and his mother travel to the arena and receive said package. Inside is a note from Ovie, in which he recalls how much this story meant to him and how touched he is that this man is such a big fan. AO does not have any pictures of himself to give, but hopes this other gift will make up for it.

Alex has given the guy a game worn, autographed, All-Star game jersey. This is not just a jersey he grabs one night and plays in. Not a jersey that is a replica of his All-Star game one, but THE jersey he wore that night. I think they wear like one per period. Some have to go to the Hall of Fame, some other places, and probably one or two the player keeps for himself. Well Ovie gave his up for a man he has never met. That is heart, that is love for the game and the fans, and that is what makes our sport so special.

Let us turn to what makes the world a horrible, but yet magical place for children, and really all of us.

Winter Classic this year, a young fan is given a game used stick by Henrik Zetterberg of the Red Wings. Cha ching, what a great souvenir for a young fan. Now the kid has gotten this at the end of the game, and I guess he and his dad were walking around still taking it all in. Well a man dressed to look “like a guard” tells them he can’t walk around with this on the premises, and they will have to give it over for safe keeping. They can collect it from security when they leave. So they give it over and come back later to get it. Surprise, surprise, it is not there and no one has even heard of this. While the policy exists, it would not have mattered because the game was over. And now we have a devastated young child.

Word gets back to the Red Wings, and the story ends happily enough with a new stick being sent to the child soon. But come on people; steal a stick from a kid? You are the worst kind of human in the world. You are the person who asks for an autograph for your “son” and then sells the damn thing on EBay. You are scum.

The people who will give this child a new stick? Alex Ovechkin and his gift? The hundreds of other great hockey players who do fantastic things that largely go un-told? You are all true ambassadors for our sport and the correct way to be a role model. With stories about Pacman Jones setting up a hit on someone and Vincent Jackson drunk driving all over the news this morning, thank god hockey has heroes like these and sad the world has criminals like the one previously described.

There are other great stories about corruption and mistrust of some of these great players. Steve Yzerman is at the center of an elaborate scheme in which a man faked his son having a terminal disease. Stevie said when it was all over, that nor will anything else not keep him from contributing time and efforts to those less fortunate.

Food for thought. Not much more to add to that today.

My only regret is that I have boneitis

2009-01-04T16:52:00.002-05:00

Well, I have returned from vacation. Actually I returned from vacation a week ago and then died from a super flu and was reborn as a zombie later this week. I felt kind of like those brain blob guys from Futurama. The post title was totally a better and more fitting quote to start with, along with being overused on my trip home. Thats a fair sum up of how I have been feeling. As I get over mourning the loss of half of my vacation, I turn to reflection of a few things. Fantasy sports, hockey, and daytime television.

First, I must congratulate Mikey Ford for what was an astounding fantasy football season. Counting his playoff run, Mike went a ridiculous 14-3 on his march to Dynasty Football Champion for our keeper league's first ever season. It will be of great interest to see if he holds onto this kind of success next year. Another pat on the back to Newman for also finally getting off the mat with his first ever 3B league point with his 3rd place finish. For me, if you wi sh to go back a few posts and read my skepticism, I played Orlovsky and I lost. I could have easily waltzed into the finals with Romo, but no, I gain a tiny 3rd place point out of the traditional league, and mediocrity continues. I am the only 3B league player to invest over 10 seasons in any sport (16) and not have a championship. Guess theres always hockey...

Turning to hockey, I have two thoughts. I was generally against the Winter Classic for a few reasons, and I have a long way to go to be charmed over by it. Am I pleased by the national stage the Red Wings had to show their style of play? Yes. Do I think this game is going to continue to succeed year after year? Hell no. College football is meaningless now on Jan. 1st thanks to the national championship being jettisoned to Jan. 18th or some shit, so most of the nation doesn't care about what is on. For me and many of our readers, we did. The Spartans got to play in their first new year bowl game in forever, which led to an overworking of my clicker thumb as I flipped back and fourth. All of the people without a specific care that day could have tuned into the classic, however, and become new hockey fans. Fantastic. Imagine how disappointed they will be next year when its 65 and the ice melts, or a snow storm ruins the game. Failure will come and The league better see this for the spectacle it is and not a crown jewel.

Trudging on with my temper towards the NHL right now, lets look at the All-Star starters as determined by the "fans." One single Stanley Cup Champion? Hmm nope. The current best player and MVP? Hmm nope. A ridiculous 4 players from the host city, 3 and 3 from two lowly western teams, and the leagues poster child cry baby? Yes, yes and yes. The fan raping of the ballots led to 3 Blackhawks, 3 Ducks, 4 Canadians, and of course Sid and Malks. I guess the blame could rest on fans of real talent for not voting, but like others, I am just accustomed to merit allowing players to start, not how many times I texted my vote.

Finally, when sick and dieing, you get lots of TV time. I learned I have way too many movie channels, and there is a lot of Hayden Christensen and Daniel Craig on the TV tube these days. Oh, I also learned I have Tory lineage in my blood, cool stuff.

Ok, back to work and back to quality posts for the new year.

Peace.

30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack: Full Moon

2008-12-21T21:42:00.004-05:00

Once upon a winter dreary,
I drank a beer, taste twas so cheery.
First sip filled my lips with a hint of orange,
an abbey ale, oh Belgium it was born.

Yes for this review, I rhyme for you,
a Blue Moon brew, winter ale, shall do.

Roasted malts, dark sugar and spices,
not the summer drink we enjoy with orange slices.
This ale claims right on the label to be full bodied,
for my taste buds it tis light, not too heavy nor shoddy.

Yes a true mix of malts and hearty carbonation,
the dark brown bottle hints of a classy persuasion.

When it gets warm, drinks a bit watery and old,
keep her in a glass, frosty and cold.
With instructions as these you'll notice true qualities,
medium hops, mild barley, makes for a drink quite caramely.

In summary I think this beer is rated just "OK",
but screw me, I'm a jerk, what does TSOFan0000 from Beer Advocate have to say?

Pours a clear, amber color with nice carbonation. I was expecting a slight haze from it, but this looks to be very well filtered.

Sweet malts dominate the nose. Almost bock-like. Some toastiness is also present, but mostly sweet malts and a hint of candi sugar.

Very light in the mouth. Some nuttiness to it, sweet malts once again dominate, but a very light beer. Not flawed in any way, just not memorable in any way either.

Overall, a very drinkable beer.

So for you, I wish Holiday cheer and drinkable beer,
great food with friends and gay times which don't end.

Till the new year I say have a good night,
I gotta go pack and catch my next flight.

Feeling quite alive in Dead Space

2008-12-21T19:23:00.003-05:00

Today I completed the Sci-Fi horror game Dead Space, and with it, conquered my irrational fear of scary video games. I kinda wuss out sometimes. Stuff makes me jump. Sounds make me look around like I am being hunted. It's spooky, OK? Either way, I challenged on, beat it, and more importantly loved it more and more the further I got. There were an incredible number of things that went really well in this one, and in a year where it had to stack up against GTA IV and Fall Out 3, not to mention Gears 2, Dead Space will be passed over by too many. Read this poorly written review, and please give the game a shot.

We can begin with the story. I love the world design and the notion that humanity has developed ships and fleets that roam the galaxy tearing apart planets to harvest them. The whole "derelict space craft with aliens on board" is over played a bit, but as Dead Space's story develops and you learn more about what you encounter, you become enthralled in the religion, technology and people the game thrusts upon you. So while it started fast and kept a moderate pace of story content, the final few chapters (12 total) really ramped up the excitement of discovering your protagonist's fate.

The art and aesthetics are where this really becomes a gem. Blood, destruction, blood, guts, blood, flickering lights.. and you get it, blood. It is everywhere and its not over done, but done just well enough to make you imagine each scene's occurrences before you arrived. The sound design is phenomenal, and possibly the single best effect of the whole game. The things you hear that are just sound track merge so well with the sounds of creatures and machinery you interact with, that you struggle to tell if you are currently being hunted or are safe. The game manages to never make you feel truly secure, always keeping you on your toes, never rewarding you with a sense of security after a battle. Ya know how in old cartoons if a door or boulder or anything in the scene were going to be a part of the animation, it had a different color or look than the backdrop? You could tell what was part of the foreground and not the background. Well in Dead Space, you can't. It merges into one freaky world audibly and visually so well.

Some of my favorite aspects of the game were its HUD design and weaponry. All menus, controls, maps, video dialog, all come up from a holographic projection in your suit. With your character set slightly off to the left in third person, your suit projects navigation, inventory and weaponry to the right of the screen. Once you master an amazingly simple control scheme, the game moves fluidly and you feel as if you really stand in the ship, running for your own hide. The weaponry is a strong suit for the game because they did not just arm you with machine guns, rocket launchers and lasers. Managing to turn mining equipment into powerful weapons, and give you the ability to upgrade them as the game moves on, really added to the helpless non-soldier feeling of your character.

Dead Space does have its fall offs. You never really feel much emotion from or for the main character. No voice, face or personality makes him hard to connect to, particularly in respect to his love interest on the ship. I found out late that you have the ability to go back and read his journal, but it does not help as much as is needed. The other major gripes are the times the game tries to be something it isn't. Playing basketball and asteroids is not the strong suit of Dead Space, but they included it to break up the story I suppose. For me, it just ruined the flow.

In the end, the game got almost everything right. Fresh weaponry and inventory ideas, unrelenting pursuit and fear, the morbid quiet of outer space. Dead Space comes up huge, and is worth every childish scream that made me feel like a lil girl.

Score: 5 out of 5 headless floating corpses dripping blood all over my TV screen.

Ode to Jeep

2008-12-19T16:04:00.004-05:00

Most who read this blog already know about my epic vehicular catastrophe last February. But in case you haven't, here's a quick recap. Driving my '99 Jeep Cherokee Classic down I-75 on the way to Medium's in the middle of last winter's final hoorah. Car in front of me spins out completely. We collide and both end up on the left shoulder. Big surprise, asshole has no license plate and drives off. In trying to escape the death trap of a highway, I get rear ended as another car tries to pass me. Long story short, there's no way to find the guy from the first accident and I get blamed for the second, it sucked but that's old news. Since then, I bought my '05 Jetta and moved on. The slick driving, gas mileage, and little perks served me well over the summer and I felt like this was an all-around upgrade in car-age. How quickly we forget.

This afternoon I had 2 errands to run, consisting of a one mile excursion to the library and post office. A simple drive that I make almost every day. Vetoed at the end of the driveway. Where my 10 year dented, paint chipped, bumpy, uneven brick could've powered through this weather without a thought, this $14000 of "German Engineering" gets stuck in a mere foot and a half of snow. I miss the Jeep. Sure I had to climb in the trunk to change cds, constantly adjust for a slight leftward pull, and it's lack of anti-lock breaks were probably what got me in that accident in the first place, but dammit, I still love ya buddy. Hope whatever pieces in whatever junkyard you find yourself in are at peace. *Salute*

On the shoulders of Lions

2008-12-19T11:46:00.005-05:00

How desperate does a man have to be to put his faith in the worst?

This weekend I approach a rarity in my life… a fantasy sports semifinal. The 3B has a deep history of fantasy football and hockey, reaching back six or seven years now. Thanks to an over active geek-gland I track performance of the group across our four leagues. With our new Dynasty style leagues just now starting up, data focuses on only the traditional “draft every year” leagues we’ve had, but I have a table showing each participant’s “Performance %.” This stat is essentially based on a simple 1:1 ratio of career points against seasons you have played.

In our little world, if you finish first, you gain 4 points; second, 2; and third, 1. If you equal out to say 11 points over 11 seasons like Mr. E. Goedtel, you bat a perfect 100%. If you are a ridiculous overachiever like K. Firth, you obtain 8 points in 5 seasons for a 160% ranking. Now, bragging rights within the group really fall on how many points you’ve gained, making Baby Bop the top dog, but just like any sport with any geek fan fare, stats are fun to look at and this provides a unique way to see whom is playing better than whom.

Yes, dwindling down near the bottom (players with just one or two seasons omitted) is your brave author, with a pathetic 11 seasons worth 3 points for his fabulous 27.27%. Now I know the shut out of Room 312 will end this year with either Ford or Newman guaranteed at least 1 point, and they have not historically been finishers, but of all the people with 10 or more seasons, I just blow. I mean the next spot up is Damman with at least a full out championship and 40%. When you consider the drop off in seasons to the guy below me is 6, I am just not happy with my history of finishes.

So that brings me back to my point. How desperate do you need to be? Already eliminated in the Dynasty league, I take on my old roomie in the traditional football semifinals. I have three QBs on my bench this week. Mr. Warner is a legendary scapegoat in this league. He will always find a way to destroy you. Facing New England in a blizzard this Sunday is not the best match-up Mr. Warner and I could ever dream of, especially with one of his star wide outs gone. Mr. Romo? Yea he’s playing the #2 defense in the league, Baltimore. That should be fun. So who might I turn to? None other than Mr. Dan Orlovsky of the Detroit Lions. The kid threw for over 200 yards in his last two starts, couple TDs and is going up against a Saints team that only thinks offense. All the “pros” say he’s a hot pick this week, but good lord, a Lion? A Lion QB?

If I make this choice, lord have mercy on me.

Eric, here is your championship game invite.

Doing it for the kids... even though it will mean I can't have kids

2008-12-17T22:09:00.002-05:00

So I have a few posts I want to get out there before I run away and most other people run away for the holiday. This is probably the most important in terms of message and purpose, so lets get it out of the way. In some small way I attempt (read: ATTEMPT) to make the world a better place every year. My efforts are usually no more than a butterfly's flap of the wings in the big picture, but I like to do it none the less. This year, masochism seemed like the perfect choice. For the low low cost of however much I can get you to donate, I am going to run, not jump, and them fully submerge myself in the Atlantic Ocean on January 24th in Baltimore. (OK, so it is the Chesapeake Bay, no need to get bitchy over it.) Along with thousands of others, I will attempt to help raise a record amount of dough for the Special Olympics. My team, "Significant Shrinkage," Aims to raise $1,000 and we are only to about $400 now. While I am the leading participant at this time, I wanna be even more kick ass and do more. What the hell, I want to grovel at your feet more and tell you all what wonderful people you are for parting ways with your $5, $10, $500 donations.

Seriously, the Special Olympics is an important and needed event in this world. The economic crisis throws so many charitable organizations in risk this year, and they need our support more than ever. I would love for you to help with this cause, but even if you don't, try and help somewhere else. Donate your time to ring a bell for the Salvation Army, serve food at a shelter, or donate old winter wear and blankets for the needy. Me? I am donating my nuts to mother nature... and I would like you to pay homage to them in coin.

To contribute to my hypothermia, follow this link. Yes I promise pictures when it is over and I can no longer have children.

The Album You Missed: Guilt Show

2008-12-12T13:38:00.004-05:00

(The Album You Missed is a recurring feature which describes a great album from the past that well, you might have missed and should probably go out and listen to. Seriously, just even download it on-line, it will take you 6 minutes.)

When The Get Up Kids broke up and became a fraction of themselves, I never thought the pieces would materialize into such polarizing parts. Outside of being in the “genre,” Reggie and the Full Effect, Koufax, and The New Amsterdams were altogether nothing alike, and nothing like The Get Up Kids. The was fun exploration for me and one I was happy with, as The Get Up Kids were unique, trend setting and just fit right where I needed them to be. Their last full effort before the 2004 breakup was Guilt Show, an album that never rose to the band’s early prodigy like success, and an album you just might have missed.

Put out by Vagrant and reaching as high as 58 on the Billboard Top 200, Guilt Show was a more subdued rock oriented piece. Pryor’s vocals had fully expanded to his true potential, and the music was some of the most elegantly composed that the “kids” had ever put together. The tone of this album was not as angst or pubescently driven as before, possibly because of the Pope brothers’ heavier involvement in the writing, possibly because of Rob’s divorce, and possibly because of rising band tensions.

What you find are tracks which are easily background for a lazy Sunday afternoon. Mellow and easy to swallow, tracks like Wouldn’t Believe It, Man Of Conviction, and Never Be Alone pull at your heart strings if you are listening to the words, but can also be hum along worthy if you’re just following the beat. The one gripe I had with this album was that even though Wouldn’t Believe It had moderate single success, I never really felt a powerhouse track rise up from the ashes of The Get Up Kids destruction. It could be that this LP was the result of their impending break-up, it could be that the shift in temper or tempo did not serve them as well. With that said and promptly set aside however, this is a gem worth seeking out and putting on this weekend, even if you forget you played it afterward.

Score: 3 out of 5 "I would be OK falling asleep while playing this album."

30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack: Raspberry-Kahlua-Nog

2008-12-11T18:59:00.001-05:00

So as my first two 30lbs. segments pointed out, it is the season of holiday parties and festive beers. Well, at a recent holiday party I played the white elephant game. I have no idea why the game is called that particular name, all I know it as is "you get to steal someone else's gift and it is fun". Well I got to go very first, and this meant I was walking away with whatever gift I wanted at the end. You Better believe I took the alcohol. A nice little Kahlua gift set it was. Cup, liter, and some samples. So this may not be a beer, but gosh darn it, I have a holiday drink and I might as well review it for you. Now how did I turn Kahlua into a holiday drink? Eggnog! Just so happens I know a pretty simple recipe for some holiday cheer...

2 parts Kahlua.
1 part vodka.
Mix with Eggnog.
Stir.

Now for this lil drink I chose Absolute Raspberry for my vodka. I am one of those guys who likes raspberry and chocolate, so this works for me, Or I at least think it will. So how does this contraption taste? Well first off I put way too much vodka in, think I'll pour a little more eggnog in after a few gulps. Obviously the type of vodka and eggnog you choose will affect this taste incredibly, but my raspberry-Kahlua-nog is pretty darn tasty. The first thing you gain note of is the crisp taste of the absolute, as flavored abso tends to do. As you begin to swallow the Kahlua really kicks in and then the aftertaste is all owned by the eggnog. This is truly a hearty, sit by the fire and watch the snow fall with loved ones beverage. It is a little hard for me to get into the mood as it is 50 and pouring rain in Baltimore right now, but I can sit back and close my eyes and imagine the slush of Michigan... oh yea... there it is.

So obviously Beer Advocate is not going to review my eggnog contraption, but that is beyond the point. I hope you at some time this holiday escape from the shopping, the crazy family and nutso chaos, and steal some moments for the good old hearty holiday drink. If you go for the ras-Kahlua-nog, smile and think of me.

Happy Holidays booze hounds.

3B Dream

2008-12-11T09:01:00.009-05:00

OK, so I need everyone's help to discover the meaning behind this strange 3B dream I had last night:

It all started with Jason and I (Newman, if this isn't clear), where we lived in South Dakota. We didn't live together, we just lived in the same town. We were invited, along with everyone in 3B, to go to New Andy's ranch near Texas for some go-karting. We were invited to go Thursday-Saturday. I booked a very expensive hotel suite, and then after it was booked, Jason tried to change the dates to Friday-Sunday. I yelled at him and talked him out of changing the dates. We drove down to Texas from South Dakota in two cars (following each other) and had a fight about what interstate to take.

On the way, I called Korey, who said he probably wasn't coming. I also remember calling Bill but I'm not sure why. When we got to the suite, I checked in, and inside the room was this really hot redhead, hiding behind the kitchen counter. She worked as a bellhop at the hotel, and had folded a towel into a very intricate design around her head, and was just hiding there like the Cheshire Cat, smiling. I jumped back, and she laughed. We talked about what a strange thing that was to do, and she agreed. Then others from 3B began to arrive, and she helped them with their bags into the room. She commented that I had brought too many pillows.

I also had my mail diverted from my home with a "change of address" form. When I arrived in Texas, I already had a Newsweek magazine and two phone books, one for South Dakota, and one was the MSU Faculty that we all used to get in the dorms.

At one point after several of us were in the room, it dawned on me that we all could have just stayed with New Andy at his ranch and saved a lot of money.

Then we headed out to New Andy's ranch. It had a large go-kart track, but it was majorly banked, almost like a skateboard course from one of those Tony Hawk games. This made it very impractical for go-karts, as it was too small around, and too banked. It was also above ground...

Howie and I were racing in the go-karts, Mariokart style, and he took one of the banks too high and flew up and over. I finished the race and Dammon yelled to him, and Howie responded that he was OK, just all bumped and brused. Ron was driving the Yoshi kart, and Medium was racing him in a normal kart at this point. I was standing with Nick, New Andy, Jason, Dammon, Bill, and Anne (yes, Anne came without Korey...). There were others around different parts of the track, but we were up on the platform.

I then went back to the suite to try and have sex with the redhead, but Jason and others followed and blocked my efforts. When it was time to check out, instead of any of us packing, we just got about 10 bellhops to come and help carry all of our unpacked stuff to the cars. For some reason, I had a lot of personal items from my home, along with items from my parents home, that I wouldn't have brought. They were all unpacked. This included my step-mom's scrapbooking supplies and sheet music, all unpacked and spread out under one of the beds. I also seemed to have 7 pairs of shoes... The bellhops were givin our stuff to carry based on their arm legnth and gender. I would say something like "The female bellhop with the 2nd longest arms, come here" and a girl would run over, hug me (to show arm legnth) and then start picking up all of the stuff to take to the car.

This is when Eric and Lauren came from their room (they were the only ones to not stay in the suite, minus New Andy who stayed at his ranch) and Lauren made fun of me for having more shoes than her. She was also holding that picture frame that I "borrowed" years ago from her sister's party and we had at the 3B apt. for a while. I got in my car and started the drive back to South Dakota, and Jason got mad at me because I needed to go to the Post Office to have my mail changed back from the hotel address to my home address.

THE END

Thoughts? I believe this is somehow important, because I NEVER remember dreams. Plus it was so vivid and many of you were there.

The Best Albums of 2008

2008-12-10T13:49:00.010-05:00

Just as I did a year ago, I present to you my favorite albums of 2008. In 2007, Motion City Soundtrack, Say Anything, and Bayside made the list, this year who is the top of the crop? These are not the critics’ picks, these are mine. These are works I picked up and could not put down, for the reasons I will explain below. Please add your own in the comments, respond to my views, and enjoy the artists who impacted my mood so many times this past year.

#5 – Senses Fail – Life Is Not a Waiting Room

I almost forgot my fifth album on this list was being release this year. Senses Fail is a talking point, or was, about what production, stage presence, and “scene” means versus quality rock and the actual music when it comes to popularity. Over the past few albums Senses Fail have been accused of carrying audience through sheer clique appeal and for every reason but the music. Through it all, the record label issues, cred wars, and the inner questions of relevance, they have made albums that float above the plane. I have always seen them as a standard setting band, one who may not do it the best or the longest, but the changes they make to the screamo scene on an album by album basis are trends copied by the industry.

With Life Is Not a Waiting Room you hear and feel the traditional Senses Fail vibe. The album is about love lost, self torture, the black, the dark, the evil inside of us all. Songs about drinking, death, scorn and love fill the tracks just as the three previous releases all did. The one transcending message through this record and found hidden in each song is hope. You leave the album feeling empowered, uplifted to a degree, and ready to kick the crap out of whatever pains you. The music is not any more complex, changed or important than what you know of Senses Fail. The tracks could seamlessly be placed in the previous album or in my guess, the next. Possibly the production values have improved and possibly Buddy has found more range in his voice, but you should not expect a new sound. That is totally fine with me. I want to put a Senses Album in my CD player and scream while I drive, and with this effort the screaming can be a little more uplifted than before.

#4 – Jack’s Mannequin – The Glass Passenger

It is hard for me to write about The Glass Passenger for so many reasons. I can’t relate to the cancer Andrew faced prior to writing this. When thinking about Jack’s I am forced to relive the loss of a relationship that was so short but so important to me. I am also just completely enthralled in the work, to the point I don’t know how best to describe it. Jack’s Mannequin has always been the sappiest pop in my music collection. These are songs girls swoon over and men just wish no one catches them listening to. The composition is beautiful, the lyrics meaningful. Fans of Something Corporate never fully assimilated into the Jack’s fold, and I think that simply can be characterized as an issue in maturity.

The Glass Passenger picks up where Everything in Transit left off. The album is hopeful, as it should be. It is released after Andrew’s conquering of leukemia and stands as an emblem in the battle against cancer. The album strives to not be pigeonholed by that memory though. Lyrics on love, family and friends pull you to personal places in your own life, and away from where Andrew has been. The music continues to be beautiful and fluid. His mastery of the piano sounds that much more complete, and the tracks truly have taken time to marinate. This is the album I fall asleep to on the airplane, even in the worse turbulence.

#3 – Kings of Leon – Only By the Night

There was a time I would have never listened to an artist like Kings of Leon. Call it ignorance, lack of culture, or just stupidity, but the aesthetics of the music would not have charmed me. Thank god that is not today and I did not miss Only By the Night. This album can be summed up in one word: Sex. This is attraction, passion, movement. If rock and roll were to be dance floor motion, Kings of Leon captured it here.

With the tracks Use Somebody, Sex on Fire and Be Somebody, Kings have brought three forceful rock tracks to the mainstream. Each of these manages to leap at you when played on the radio among your standard rock tracks. The vocal power, the composition, the feeling is all there. The album fills in its singles with solid efforts following the trends of the album. If more stood out I might have bumped them up to number two this year, but considering I’d have passed on them altogether in the past, I think third is mighty fitting.

#2 – Rise Against – Appeal to Reason

For me, the first exploration of a Rise Against album involves a lot of intent listening, a staring at the wall and a really focused kind of listening. I consider the lyrics and songs that Tim Mcllarth composes to be poetry. There really is not a better punk rock band at painting vivid images and stories in your mind. Appeal to Reason does not venture too far from messages that The Unraveling first made for the band back in 2000, but it provides a needed and valid update.

Full of political theories, statements and hope; Appeal to Reason audibly is exactly what you knew you would find in a Rise Against album. The vocals are a little more polished and timing more fluid. Overall the production values are representative of experience and a better budget. What you really come away with is the message and the emotion of what the band wants to talk about. The big opening single Re-Education is a hard hitting, jump around thrash fest. Dig into Hero of War and feel its message. A true poem of what kind of pain a soldier experiences emotionally in this day and age, it is a timeless testament to the relevance of Rise Against.

#1 – Weezer – The Red Album

Weezer is quickly becoming a new generation’s Metallica. A band can be technically sound, innovative and yet if it garners too much acclaim, too much success, a certain percentage of the population becomes sick of the recognition and success. This is not a Nickelback or Creed type of saturation and hate; this is reserved for quality bands that just become over exposed.

With Weezer’s return to colors, The Red Album took me a bit to jump on. At first I felt like Pork and Beans got overplayed on the radio, but then I dug into Troublemaker, Heart Songs, and The Greatest Man That Ever Lived and I fell in love. My brother is right; they do sing about being famous and being the best, and that can be alienating, but it works for me. A tongue in cheek exploration is fine for me when someone has been to the top, then the bottom and now back to relevance. The melodies are friendly, thrashes are head-bang-worthy, and the lyrics classic. With that, Weezer comes in as my most played, most loved album of 2008.

Some honorable mentions this year that I enjoyed and just didn’t make my cut: The Offspring – Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace and Anberlin – New Surrender.

Leading the world in selling nothing (part 2)

2008-12-09T17:30:00.003-05:00

I want to clarify something real quick. Obviously I am for the bridge loans. I believe that the UAW has made, and is currently working to make, significant concessions. Domestic cars are vastly better in quality now than they were just a decade ago (it will just take a while for customers to realize this). It is definitely not a sure thing, but there is a strong chance that once these changes take effect on the Big 3's expenditures / profits they will become viable companies again.

I guess my real point is... the bailout and bridge loans should go together. You cannot save one flawed industry and turn around and doom another (especially when the one that has done the most work to turn itself around is the one that is at risk of not getting support). If Congress turns its back on the auto industry, they should go back and reclaim our money from the financial industry and allow it to to be broken and reborn also.

On a far less serious note, I have realized lately that I don't really like it when a girl thinks everything I say is hilarious. This is because I personally know that a lot of the things I say really aren't funny (even when I doubt the things I'm about to say are going to be funny, 75% of the time I will say them anyway... I'd rather take a chance and get a laugh than not even try). So, when I say something that I know shouldn't be that funny, and she laughs her ass off.... it makes me wonder... what's wrong here? Do you have a worse sense of what's funny and not than me? Or are you just trying far too hard... I don't want you to be trying this hard.

Love, Medium(!)

Also

2008-12-09T00:08:00.003-05:00

Is anyone planning on going to see MSU play in the Capital One Bowl? I am interested in checking out prices... exploring the possibilities, if you would.

Leading the World in Selling Nothing.

2008-12-08T20:18:00.004-05:00

I am going to admit this right off the bat: I have not done and solid research before making this post. I have been to the internets before (over 7 years!) and I know that research is rarely (never) needed before you put something on-line.

I'm sure everyone is aware that Congress is currently considering a "bridge loan" for the Big 3. This is quite often compared to the recent Financial Bail Out passed hastily by Congress. There are several differences between these two, so i'm going to compare and contrast to give my ramblings some structure.

1.a. The Auto Bailout is, in fact, a loan designed to give the automakers enough credit to survive until concessions by the UAW take effect. Ford may not even need to use this line of credit. The automakers, should they regain profitability, would repay the taxpayer money. The last I heard the Big 3 was asking for about $34 Billion in loans total.

1. b. The Financial Bailout is about $700 Billion, which ballooned to over $800 Billion after Congress got their pet projects attached to the bill. Instead of being a loan, there are some various regular and preferred stock options that the government has attached to the bank bailouts... This does mean that IF the banks turn around, we may get a chunk of that money back. I am unsure what sort of guarantee if any there is on money given to other companies such as insurance giant AIG. I am assuming it is probably another form of stocks.

2. a. One of the main beating points from the media over the Big 3 bridge loans was the use of private jets by Auto Executives. The PR was so bad that the Auto CEOs actually drove from Detroit to Washington for their next meetings. That is an incredibly stupid, empty gesture that achieved nothing. GM is not going to be saved because it sells it's Jets. It was essentially Congress forcing the Big 3 to bow down before them like dogs and beg. And why? Because Congress desperately needs to try and regain face after bending over for AIG.

2. b. Since being bailed out out twice, AIG has planned to pay executives $503 Million in "retention bonuses". Basically, they plan to overpay their executives on a massive scale to prevent them from leaving for greener pastures. These are the same executives that ran the company into the ground. The Financial industry is, rightfully so, shrinking at the moment. There are thousands of qualified businessmen looking for jobs right now. There is absolutely no reason anyone should overpay to higher an AIG employee away from them, and therefore no reason to really overpay to keep an AIG employee from bailing ship. They should be thankful they still have jobs. In addition to this little ploy, AIG was also famously caught throwing massive retreats and parties for employees after getting bailed out. Our taxpayer money has gone to sending their already over compensated employees on some unnecessary retreat.

3. a. Congress has actually made the good move of demanding the Big 3 present some sort of plan before receiving a loan. This is a good move and should not be criticized.

3. b. Congress made no move whatsoever to require a plan out of the Financial Sector. We gave them $700 Billion and have no idea where any of it is going.

4. a. Congress was in such a hurry to pass the Financial Bailout because "financial experts" said an imminent shutdown of the economy was about to occur (These same experts, and many congressmen, happen to have worked for all these banking companies before. Many of them plan on returning to spots on the board of executives when they are done working for the government. It's in their best interest that these companies survive and profit unharmed). Basically, the financial industry was going to go bankrupt and need to be painfully rebuilt. No one wants this.

4. b. Nobody is in a hurry to pass the Big 3 Bridge Loans. A main argument against them is that the better course of action is to just let the Big 3 fail, as their are already "broken beyond repair".

That is where I become confused. It is okay to allow a major section of American Industry to fail, causing millions to be unemployed, therefore putting a major dent in middle-class consumer spending. This is okay because the industry is already "broken". If you ask me, our financial industry is clearly also broken. Yes, it will be painful to rebuild it. But maybe we should.

Poor decisions and fraud are everywhere in the financial industry plagued by greed. There are accounts of loan applications being doctored by the financial companies (approved by high level execs) in order to sell more mortgages (which were then packaged together and sold off like stocks). They were essentially issuing bad loans and then using them to gain more capital. That's what scares me about the financial industry... It thrives off greedy people finding ways to make money without producing anything. Why can't we let that fail? Doesn't anyone want to see the financial industry fixed the way people want the auto industry fixed?

That's what is scares me about America. Over time we have turned away from actual industry/making actual products and toward making money off of the work of others. Americans have fired their fellow countrymen in order to pay poorly for other countries to make our products. We've made it so that knowing a physical trade... actually creating a tangible product for your living, is seen as a dirty occupation. Nobody wants to be a carpenter or an electrician anymore in America. Those are jobs you get if you can't be a lawyer or CEO.

Jiggle the handle

2008-12-07T20:29:00.003-05:00

I wrote a post a couple months ago dealing with an on-line footprint, or your history of internet usage. The internet can be a place where footprints are left in cement as opposed to a track in the sand. Erasing is impossible without powerful tools and effort. In the mid '90s when AOL really started to take hold and anyone who had internet was now under a screen name, or sharing one with a family. Many people were forced into choosing "handle" for the first time in their lives. Simple handles involving any combination of your name, birthday, hometown or favorite sport were common. My first ever handle was a simple jas6854 on AOL, with the numbers being completely random.

I halfheartedly attempted to figure out the origin of the term handle, but I lost interest. I do know the term originated within the hacker community in probably the late '80s, and more recently has become part of the common lexicon of message board and video game culture. I find great interest in the evolution of a handles purpose. In the past hackers used them to carve a unique identity keeping them hidden from authority, yet allowing them to take claim for their accomplishments. Today a handle can either be synonymous with a person's true persona or used as a veil just as it was originally in the '80s. The advent of video game handles and the very prevalent Xbox gamercard, Wii Mii, and etc. have allowed people to create secondary personae that are socially acceptable and desirable to connect your true identity with.

Yet even in this world where a handle may just be used as a true extension of yourself online, others have used the masking ability of it to become horrible other versions of themselves. The ability to spew racist, sexist, and un-pc commentary in video games and on message boards without any blow back to one's personal self is an opportunity so many have been unable to resist. The psychological reasons for this are beyond my desire to explore and have been written about before, but what should be noted as I continue, are the two common forms of handle usage; continuation of self, and a alternate self.

What is really interesting to me is how people choose their handles. I would like to as an example, use the Three B group's Xbox tags which are posted on this very blog. In looking over the few examples we have, I see a common theme of clique nicknames and inside jokes as a basis for a gamertag.

My own personal handle Uckofay stems from a unique evolution of nicknames and inside jokes, to which the absolute origin of it I am not even aware. Due most assuredly to my big mouth, outlandish comments and actions, a roommate dubbed me Fucko, to which my first blush reaction is perceiving it as an protagonist/jester nickname. I modified the name myself using pig latin for a more socially acceptable use on bar crawl t-shirts, and Uckofay was born. As time went on I shortened it to U-fay, but always kept Uckofay along with TheOnlyDoubleJ as the two handles most people know me as in an online interaction. Uckofay was ultimately the choice I made in my gamertag selection, probably because it had an edgier and more aggressive sound to it than my previous screen name.

My brother's is a great example of a situational or observational nickname. Being my younger brother, he was commonly called Little James. Well as he grew to be larger than I, little James did not fit very well. He couldn't be Big James as that would cause you to think he was the elder of the two. Well small and big are separated by Medium, and Medium James was born.

Damman this weekend changed his. Angry Damman could be considered an ironic tag. As a guy who is commonly quiet and thoughtful, the use of an aggressive adjective is not one you would commonly use with him.

PDramaRocks is one of my favorites. Pat is a guy known to happily complain and object to most things the community said or did, much like a popular Entourage character. The simple addition of Pat's first initial to Drama created one of the best fitting handles I have ever witnessed.

Nistur and NoTurn, I have no friggin clue where you guys got that. notNotHoward is a simple observation to a very complicated nickname, to which an entire additional post could be written.

In all of these situations, I know none of us to be alternate ego personalities. For the most part the Three B group act online as you would expect them to act in person. I feel this usage of a handle to be the most common, or at least I am optimistic that it is. My fear is that as younger generations grow up with internet personalities from an earlier age and discover the ability anonymity gives to be a complete ass online, they will gravitate towards alternate identities. If they choose to do so, let us just hope they at least create some amusing handles to block.

NFL Celebrations Make Me Want to Vomit

2008-12-07T19:22:00.008-05:00

I'm sorry, but I need to rant. My thoughts might not be in any particular order, and I may repeat myself, but hear me out because you might like it. So here it is:

NFL players are full of themselves. Now I know what you're thinking: "Say it ain't so, Howard! Say it ain't so." But its true. I'm not really sure how it all started, so I'll go ahead and give credit to referring to yourself in the third-person. That led way to players being so clever that they figured out how to spell their initials using their own two arms (LJ, LT, TO). And most recently, players very publicly changing their name to something so different because they needed to new way to draw attention to themselves. The only thing that these players love more than football, nay, the money they make by playing football, is the themselves. As if this "I'm so important that my name on the back of the jersey is way more important than the team name on front of jersey" mentality wasn't enough to make me hate the NFL and most of its players, watching today's Cowboys/Steelers (which was a good game, as far as professional football goes) and Thanksgiving day football (possibly the only games this season that I have watched in their entirety) reminded me of another reason why I hate football. These dudes celebrate every play as if they have never made a good play before in their entire lives. I'd like to give these guys the benefit of the doubt, since they're in the NFL, that they have in fact made big plays before... or had a tackle, sack, catch, 20 yard run, etc. So why can't these players act like they've been there before? In tonight's game a Steeler player returned a punt for 20 yards and celebrated by shaking uncontrollably, similar to that of a Tonic-Clonic Seizure. What is that? During the Cowboys' game on Thanksgiving, one the Cowboys' defensive lineman flapped his arms after every tackle. Personally I would be much more intimidated by a player that made play after play and simply returned to the huddle to prepare to kill again, like a machine whose only job is seek and destroy... without making an ass of himself every time. Now would that be so hard? I know its not fair to group every player into this category, because there is the occasional breath of fresh air like Barry Sanders that would simply toss the ball to the official after scoring a touchdown and just jog back to sideline to ready to do it again... like a machine. Can you name any current NFL players that do this? Possibly if you're a die hard fan, but for smart people (read: hockey fans) its not very likely. Some celebrations are classic, and should be loved, such as the Lambeau Leap. Its not about self-promotion, making headlines, getting on SportsCenter (which has taken a huge dive in highlights and is more worried about rumors or Dancing With the Stars than actual sports), or making sure every camera is watching you; its about thanking the fans at the stadium because the people of the city literally own the team. This celebration rules. Sacking a quarterback and then pretending to dig a pretend grave with a pretend shovel is dumb. Scoring a touchdown in the Super Bowl that could win the game and dunking the ball over the uprights is not only a clutch play, but a decent celebration that shows is another tip of the hat to these players' athletic ability. Gathering a fumble and celebrating while running toward the end zone from the 15 yard line is dumb... And even more dumb when you get caught up to at the 2 yard line and get the ball knocked out of your hand (stupid Leon Lett). The NHL players have it right. If a player scores a slam dunk, back door goal, the first thing he does is find the player that made the pass. An NFL player would celebrate his ability to stand there and while the other guy made him look good. When was the last time a wide receiver sought out the quarterback after making an amazing play? Hockey players get together, tap the goal scorer on the hat, tap his shin pads, and go to the bench. They don't stand at center ice while wearing cape or skate by the other bench while telling their opponent to suck it. That would be uncouth. There is no stupid dance. There is no self-promotion. They line up and get ready to do it again. Like a machine. There are always exceptions, and certain situations allow for excessive celebration. Think late 1980's Theo Fleury sliding on his knees across center during the Stanley Cup finals when he scored the OT winner. He slid, and then he and the team dog piled on the goalie. Together. As a team. No one did a stupid dance. No one pulled a cell phone out from behind the goal post. No one did the "Soulja Boy." Catch the fucking ball. Pat the quarterback on the ass. Get ready to do it again. You get to keep your dignity, show some class, and no one will fine you. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. In case there you were curious about all of the pictures that I included, I felt bad not including some because when I searched for football celebrations there were just so many vomit inducing images that I needed to share some of them. For fuck's sake, celebrating a good play should not come equipped with a penalty or a multi-thousand dollar fine. Have a good night.

Objection!: Return To Sender

2008-12-05T10:46:00.008-05:00

(Objection! is a (new!) recurring feature in which things were said, lines were drawn, and someone needs a good verbal beating. And I'm just the person to give it.)

Dear Jason:

I'm sorry to hear that you are unhappy with our free and multiple operating system compatible iTunes software. It really breaks my heart to hear that your WINDOWS pc is rejecting our (in your own words) "superior media developing device." I understand your frustrations with some of our hardware and I'm sorry that you disagree with our marketing practices, but I don't think the word "parasite" is appropriate (we prefer "opportunist"). I would like to offer you a free iTunes download of "Song you don't know" by Band That Sucks in hopes that you will continue to not pay us for things in the future.
-Steve "I have more money than God" Jobs

Ok, Steve Jobs probably is a dick, but face it, the guy and his company have come up with some amazing tech over the last 20 some years. Yeah, they charge an arm and a leg for it. Yeah sometimes it breaks. Too freaking bad. It's still better than Windows Media Player/Windows Vista/Zune. Also, if a guy is upset that their new 3G iPhone isn't exactly twice as fast as the old one and that the company "sold too many", does that really entitle him to sue Apple for probably 1000 times what he paid for it? Umm, no. You're gonna have to find free money somewhere else buddy.

Now, as for Apple making false or ambiguous advertising claims? Hello? McFly? That's what marketing IS. Stretching facts and making unprovable claims is the business of which, if you think Apple is the sole proprietor, then you must be living in a bubble. I don't like it any more than anyone else, but in our present business world, the fact is that the companies that try to stay within the existing bounds fall behind or get gobbled up by everybody else.

Besides, iTunes runs just fine on my MacBook.

30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack: Odd Notion '07

2008-12-04T20:10:00.003-05:00

(30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack is a recurring feature which reviews a beer from the point of view of a guy who knows nothing about beer except for that he loves it. And it loves him. So go quench your thirst my friends.)

Time. Time is an enemy of many things. Life, clocks, homework. Beer. Time is most definitely against beer. Good beer lasts for awhile, but not forever. Certainly not a year correct? Well lets find out.

My beer this week is another winter specialty... from 2007. Ah yes, the winter of '07. I moved here to Baltimore and celebrated with a mix pack from Magic Hat. In it was this dandy lil beer I somehow never got around to drinking and let slide until tonight, when it shall meet its fate. Meet the Magic Hat "Odd Notion" of winter 2007.

This beer is my kind of beer, 7.5% alc/vol and dark. It is a very light and viscous beer. Almost no head, and that has nothing to do with the time here. Time has treated this beer well. I would have to say I would enjoy it more last year, things would not be floating in it as they are now. Beyond that however, this is a tasty winter classic. Carrying a tart first bite, she finishes with a bit of ginger, maybe caramel. Who the hell knows, I am drinking over a year old beer. Lets turn to Beer Advocate for some expert advice on this retro sud.

Dark and cloudy with a thin head and faintly spicy aroma. It's got a smooth taste that reminded me favorably of good fruitcake --roasted malts and flavors of spice, molasses, toffee and nuts. At 7.5% alcohol, it packs a bit of a punch, but it doesn't taste too strong.

That one comes from brentk56 in North Carolina. Thanks Brent, and thanks BA.

So the moral of the story is drink your beer. Do not let the beer sit there, it is a sin. If you do, someday you will have to face the skunky truth, even if it is still pretty darn tasty.

Ultra-douche incarnate

2008-12-03T17:58:00.004-05:00

So if you have not heard this quote from Sean Avery of the Dallas Stars yet, well here it is:

Uh, I'm really happy to be back in Calgary. I love Canada. And I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about. Enjoy the game tonight.

Back story: Avery has nabbed some hotties before and a few have gone on to date other NHL players. In this case, before facing the Flames, Avery was calling attention to Dion Phaneuf of the Flames, who is dating Elisha Cuthbert.

The NHL has erupted in outrage over his comment, with the head office suspending him and calling him to NYC to meat with GB. Players all over have called him out on it, and at first, well I defended him. I have wanted a heroes and villains world in the NHL forever. They could market these kind of stories so well, and it would be the kind of back story that allowed you to grow fan base without circus acts like the Winter Classic (See my prior rant). I didn't think this was something warranting suspension, maybe a sharp fine, but not a vacation from the ice.

I have changed my mind on this since this morning. It is degrading to women, a bad influence for kids, and overall a nasty comment. I still don't think the league itself has any right stepping in on this when they let blatant head hits and dirty play go un-suspended on a weekly basis. The Stars claim they would have given him the noose themselves, and that is where the suspension should have come from. At the end of the day Avery will get his, and I really hope it comes in the form of Jack Bauer. Or ol Dion. Pretty much the same result.

An open letter to Apple

2008-12-03T12:39:00.002-05:00

Dear Apple:

So I am pissed off at you. Look, you have funny commercials, solely because John is funny as shit. Beyond that, you blow. And you keep stealing the money of my friends because you can convince them that “oooo my computer is recyclable” or “I won’t ever crash!”

I see you for the parasite you are. You are an advertising genius. Who else can throw out frivolous lies and get the public to believe them? Just today, Gizmodo produced a link to a story in which you were quoted as saying…

Plaintiff's claims, and those of the purported class, are barred by the fact that the alleged deceptive statements were such that no reasonable person in Plaintiff's position could have reasonably relied on or misunderstood Apple's statements as claims of fact.

In other words, your advertisements are lies and you know it. You also know people will swallow it whole. Well maybe it is time we release the truth! Guess what buddy, I know that every computer is recyclable 100% now, not just you. I don’t think China would exist without that industry come to think of it… I also know that you are more expensive than a PC of equal computing power. Your “3G” iPhone? Gimmie a fucking break, you are lucky to be 2G in most service areas.

Please don’t even get me started on you never crashing. Oh, sorry, you “Kernel” error instead. Well la de da. I wasted half my college tuition waiting for your superior media developing devices to un-stall and let me finish my project.

Beyond the lies, your other transgressions are just diabolic. iPod batteries cannot be replaced and die in under two years of average consumer use. iPhones have a backdoor off switch for applications people paid good money for, allowing you to take them away with no refund whenever you wish. Your iPhone is also made of such shitty material that they ship with cracks in the casings. Steve Jobs is an evil robot.

Yet through it all, you win. You sell, you lie, you sell some more and lie some more. How do you win? Pretty lights. All your consumers amount to nothing more than a moth to a flame. Aesthetics and ad sense are the only reason you succeed, and just as you quoted above… it is all a lie.

With love,

Jason

Lost Potential

2008-12-02T21:39:00.006-05:00

So, in the lit class I'm currently taking, we've read a handful of classic short stories and novels from the last few centuries. The latest one is now To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf. If you haven't read this the narrative is.... boggling. Rather than follow any real rhyme or reason, it jumps through various character's minds, putting great detail to even the most trivial and mundane thoughts as they enter that person's head. I promise that's it for the literary analysis in my post, but I am going somewhere with this. About 90% of our class hated this novel, the style and form of it was just too messy and confusing. As soon as I figured it out though, I was like, this is my brain! All this ADD inspired nonsense is a perfect model of the randomness that is my thought process!

Well it turns out Virginia Woolf was rather mentally imbalanced herself. She suffered several breakdowns in her life and eventually committed suicide by jumping in a river. Now.....I'M mentally imbalanced. I have trouble fitting into normal society and normal values. I even suffer from the same loopy thought patterns as these famous writers. Why the hell don't I have some great literary or artistic mind? Unfair says I .

I can only guess that I'm just not crazy enough. My life is lacking that one particularly devastating hardship that would push me over the edge. And frankly, my friends and family aren't helping. You guys are either too insistent on keeping me not-isolated, or just too nice to me in general. At this rate I'll spend the rest of my long, somewhat enjoyable life working a real job, always having food and shelter, and possibly even getting married. I hope you're happy you bastards.

Just like Ugs, a classic winter mistake

2008-12-02T15:24:00.004-05:00

I have been sitting on this one for awhile, waiting to see what other angle or aesthetic drags itself from some unknown hole to be judged and valued. Yes my friends, the NHL will hold the 2009 Winter Classic on January 1st, with my beloved Red Wings facing the bastards from Chicago. The game takes place in one of the top three holiest baseball shrines ever, bubblegum field.

I voiced thorough disapproval over the game last year, to which Penguins fans told me I was jealous and I would change my tone if the Red Wings had a national spot light like that. Well, here I am to say that as the day fast approaches, and new details seem to have subsided, I remain opposed to the game. That is not to say I won’t watch with great interest.

Several things about this whole event irk me. First is the basic molestation of the NHL and its relevance as a brand. Yes this is America folks, a place where sports and championships mean squat unless paying customers buy in. The Stanley Cup would be played for in some back room poker game if zero people paid to watch competition for it. So on this day, the NHL has said “Hey, we cannot alter our game, promote our stars better, or hire a better commish to raise ratings, so let’s go act like a circus act for attention!”

This is all the Winter Classic amounts to, a ratings pull. I will not accept the “heritage of the game” roots argument. Maybe when the League pulled off the Montreal versus Edmonton game several years ago as an exhibition match; that was fine and dandy. Now when they send teams overseas for actual regular season contests, as well as this, I see them for the misguided ratings whores they are. Look, I would work for ratings too, but I’d do it through star recognition, rivalry building, cheaper access, not a side show.

No, now that they show this game as a “centerpiece” yearly, I think it is a gag. This is an event waiting for disaster. NHL players are world class athletes. They play at a faster speed than any athlete on the planet, and on the most volatile surface any game is held. Until they take up rocket-bike polo on the top of a volcano, hockey is the fastest sport. (Sorry NASCAR, I won’t even go there today.) For those of you unfamiliar with ice hockey, the ice itself is a science. Well paid men work day and night to ensure the ice stays as perfect as possible Not only does this make sure the puck plays smoothly, but that million dollar athletes do not hit a rut and blow an ACL.

So what happens when an ice rink is built outside in conditions you cannot control? You ask for disaster. Sure, last year was pretty. Snow falling, cold Canadian weather blowing into Buffalo. Beautiful. What happens when unseasonably warm weather brings rain or ruins the ice in Chicago? The zamboni already had more ice time than Crosby in Buffalo, so what then? It better not be the Red Wings young superstar player who tears a knee on a rut that would not have been present indoors.

Outside of the quality of the game, I just dislike the approach. True hockey fans bitched about the Fox Trax puck, idiot-proof explanation of the rules and commentary, why do we accept a blatant pull for some of the NCAA Bowl game ratings on New Years Day?

My intelligent argument aside; I hate the Wings’ jersey; the classic wheel from the glory days would have been better suited. I think the old non-Tigers English D just confuses people and was used by the club for a short period of time for a reason.

This is not to say I won’t watch, cheer and hope for a favorable outcome on the 1st like other Wings fans, but I’d rather do it at a traditional Joe Louis New Years Eve game. Let someone else from a team without history get sacrificed.

Turkey comas on a plane are no fun

2008-12-01T20:09:00.004-05:00

I had yet another terrific trip home to the mitten world,

where the skies are gray unless you desire a good game of football in nasty weather. Then they will be beautiful and sunny. None the less, Thanksgiving was a blessing, a chance to see my family and friends that does not come enough. Medium and I were treated to a Red Wings game by young Patrice on Friday. There lil Patrick asked us to be co-best men for his wedding, an honor accepted dutifully.

Saturday was the epic football game(s). I think all told we got 19 or 20 guys to show up and give 4 or 5 hours in exchange for a weeks worth of pain and agony. The plays were epic, the scores were epic, the hits more epic, the ball hits... less than epic but more frequent. I think next year we might need to start wearing cups.

Saturday night proved to be just as much fun. Lots of good friends for good beer, stories and antics. What can you say about a night that ends with girls sneaking beer out of the bar in their purse so we can play beer pong with two bottle caps taped together?

I will write up a music review and another winter beer review this week before I go to D.C. Come to think of it, maybe I won't... but I promise I'll try.

xoxo

Continuing the Turkey Day Thoughts...

2008-11-25T13:57:00.005-05:00

I also will be returning home to Michigan for the Turkey Day. And, like Jason, truly appreciate the traditions associated with this holiday. For me this year, things are really different. It almost became unbearable when the Lions started flirting with another blackout. However, as of noon today, the game sold out and that issue has been avoided.

An important tradition in my family has been the home Thanksgiving, often at my grandparents house. Everyone in the family is invited (and that includes all of the extended family, the ex-husbands and new wives, people who are longtime friends, etc.) Normally all of these people are invited, half say they will come, and everything works out fine. This year, due most likely to el Nino, everyone said "Yes, we'll be there."

Crap.

The table won't fit nearly that many people, and my grandparents (in their 80's, both have had hip replacements) really can't cook and clean up for that many people. So, for the first time EVER, we will be eating at a restaurant. I have literally no idea what to expect with this. I'll probably miss some of the Lions game, and also I am worried that I won't get some of my old favorite foods. On top of this, part of my family decided they didn't want to deal with the restaurant, and are having a smaller dinner at home. I am expected to attend, so after I go out to eat, I have to come home to eat. Oy...

However, the day will be great I am sure, with family and friends and food. And, MSU basketball tips at 7:00pm Thanksgiving night against Maryland. That should be good...

I also am looking forward to joining in Jason's traditions on Saturday, and seeing my 3B brothers. That does not happen nearly often enough.

Mmmm... Stuffed Kramer

2008-11-25T09:40:00.003-05:00

I get to fly home to the mitten today for what is fast becoming one of my favorite holidays if it wasn’t already. This is my second Thanksgiving away from home and now more than ever I enjoy building new traditions. Making my brother pick me up from the airport; playing the “but I never get to come home anymore!” excuse during dinner clean up; stealing all the good parts of the turkey because I am the long lost son, ect.

For real though, this for me is where traditions really become important. This trip will mark the second such year I stay up till the sun breaks on Thanksgiving eve playing video games with my bro, it will be a third annual football match at Brooklands between college friends, and it will be one of a very few occasions I get to celebrate with my Three B gang out at the bar Saturday.

Top all of this off with a trip to see the Red Wings Friday and it might as well be Christmas. So a happy holiday to you my friends. Travel safe, eat too much, and god forbid please do not watch the entire Lions game. Depression sets in after the holidays, not during people.

Happy Thanksgiving.

This Football Season Is No Fantasy of Mine

2008-11-24T20:02:00.007-05:00

Fantasy football. FANTASY football. You would think that something claiming to be a fantasy would be way more pleasant than what is currently happening in my football fantasy. At this moment I am bringing up the rear in one league, and I am third to last in the other. And my "good" team hasn't so much as squeaked by in each of my victories. My personal fantasy football moment involves more blow outs, less injuries, more offense, no bad players, and no bad management. Shit - I would even settle for more close games as long as I win. Fantasy. Instead I get football hell. The only blow outs occur when I am taking it raw. If a star players goes down, chances are I own him. If I don't own him, then he is probably the guy that should be passing the ball to my star receiver (fucking Tom Brady). If a player had a breakout season last year and was poised for great things, then I made sure that my guy was the one that proved that the previous season was, in fact, a fluke. And that leaves managerial errors... If Yahoo! predicts a my no-name running back or wide receiver to have a career making week because the player over shadowing him goes down or because he is playing the Lions, and this prediction influences me to bench my older future Hall of Fame player, then the chances are that the no-name player will continue to be a no-name player and the future Hall of Famer will have the greatest game of his life... while sitting on my bench. Fantasy. For about half the teams the season turns into a hellish mix of headaches and bad decisions... sort of like undergrad. A little less than half of the teams have season that ends with "I almost made a difference" or "I was so close"... sort of like life. And then there are the select few. Out the thousands that "play" each season, there are the champions. They made all of the right decisions: getting a lesser draft pick that meant you couldn't snag those super stars that had the worst seasons of their careers and instead had to settle for the guy that turned out to lead the league is everything, stumbling across a couple of free agents that turned out to be key role players (like the guy that runs for 21 yards and 2 TDs), getting his roster to play a nice mix "now you guys can take a break this week, but this means that you guys need to have break out weeks," and making sure his players stayed healthy all year... So you know, all of the things that they didn't actually have any control over. Fantasy. This game needs a new name. My fantasy would have more human interaction (because its more fun to talk smack in person), more money (I would be happy to sign a 10 year contract worth $2.4 million annually to play this game in Yahoo! over ESPN), and more cheerleaders. I would settle for each games' highlights to be reenacted by cheerleaders, but again this is my fantasy. *Sigh* Fantasy.

Me too!

2008-11-24T19:22:00.002-05:00

I will join Newman in vowing to have a renewed (read: new) effort to post on this blog.

The topic of my first post: Ice Hockey.

The younger class of Ninja Monks (Mike, Ken and Myself) are coming out of a brief hockey retirement and starting some drop in at Troy Sports Center and the Onyx. The end goal will be to join a league. If any Metro Detroit Area 3Bers are interested we'd be glad to have you.

For your added humor I will be attempting to combine minimal roller hockey goalie experience and minimal ice hockey experience into playing goalie on ice. I have yet to buy the goalie skates, but once I do... well... I don't expect it to be pretty. I would really appreciate it if anyone familiar with Royal Oak (Howie) might be able to direct me to a frozen pond / outdoor ice rink where i can slip and slide in my pads before going to a drop in (where I expect to disappoint the paying customers).

30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack: Season's Best

2008-11-24T18:18:00.003-05:00

(30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack is a recurring feature which reviews a beer from the point of view of a guy who knows nothing about beer except for that he loves it. And it loves him. So go quench your thirst my friends.)

Ya know, I spoil you. Or you spoil me by reading this. Either way, let me reward you. Is there anything in life better than beer? Seriously? A significant other yells at you, sports hurt us, children cry. Beer loves you. Beer tastes good. In my constant search for blog relevance, I have added a second recurring feature this week, and it shall be known as 30 lbs. Short of a Six Pack. If you can't catch the metaphor there, you probably don't like beer. Yes, for you, I shall sacrifice. I shall endeavor to explore and search out new and tasty brews, even old familiar brews, and put my taste buds to keyboard for you. My review of such brew, shall flow fourth like the frothy head of... ok screw it, time to taste.

Today's beer is in the seasonal category. Winter truly is one of my favorite drinking times, and breweries never let you down. Saranac beers come from the Matt Brewing Company of Utica, NY. In the Saranac Holiday Sampler you will find this happy little beer; and that is what it is. A pleasant, easy to finish, fun to start, not too filling, not too weak beer. Described as a nut brown lager, Season's Best has a mild amber color and hint of caramel. It carries very little head and finishes just ever so slightly bitter, that good tinge of bitter finish you would get in a specialty Sam's. Real beer people would tell you that the finish comes from more hops or something, I will tell you that it is just plain good. This beer is 5.3% alcohol and Saranac recommends it with some good old pork or BBQ. I recommend it with more Season's Best, because you need be saving room for whats important... more beer.

Now because I love you, and I know I don't know jack about beer, I want to lend to you a real voice of authority. If you have never heard of Beer Advocate, thank me now, because I just made your world better. This website is a fantastic user generated review forum for beers, and for each review I shall throw in one from BA to give some actual knowledge to what I be saying. For Season's Best we tap into "wiseguy142" from Rochester, NY.

"Nut Brown Lager." Wtf. Ok I guess I'm excited, sounds pretty tasty and unusual. Just noticed the nice artwork on the label which I don't think I've been appreciating when it comes to the rest of Saranac's beers. Pours a nice amber brown.. maybe a little too similar to their ESB if they're trying to differentiate the two based on color. But good head and good lacing. Aroma is great, very perfume-y and piney, but it's either how it mixes with the rest of the malt or something else that makes it unique. Taste is a huge kick in the malt bone, if there was one. Astringency is very noticeable though, which seems to be a problem for Saranac's beers. The complex roasted malt flavors retain their integrity in the face of the lagering process, which was what I was worried about. I was worried it was going to be like the Indian Brown Ale and taste nothing like a brown anything, but it definitely pulls through. Unfortunately, the astringency is a huge flaw and affects my score significantly. Mouthfeel benefits form the overall malt character- medium to full body and really pleasant to drink. Probably a tie with the ESB for my favorite in the mix pack. Just fix that astringency, apply it to the other beers in the pack and I'd be really happy."

Thank you wiseguy142.

Ok, I have five more to drink and an airplane to catch tomorrow. Peace.

Here Comes Newman!

2008-11-24T11:12:00.003-05:00

I just want to let everyone in 3B know... and by "everyone" I mean Jason and Dammon it seems... that I, Newman, will now be slightly more active in this blog! I am making this decision after getting a random, weird invite on facebook from Jason. I normally delete these right away, cause I don't enjoy becoming an elf on someones trek to *insert mythical place here.* But, this one said 3B in the title, so I was mildly interested. I couldn't figure it out at first, until I realized it was just a page to promote the old crappy blog, instead of something sexy and new.

Now, at this point I normally would have just pooped out on it again, but I recently started using google reader. It's this "thing" that takes "posts" and puts them in one place. So, I wouldn't need to say, remember to go to the blog to now read it. So I added this blog to my reader.

Reader #3!!! Whooo! My favorite post so far? Dammon saying Jason's rule of tyranny is over. :)

Newman

The Album You Missed: 11 Days

2008-11-23T15:41:00.005-05:00

(The Album You Missed is a recurring feature which describes a great album from the past that well, you might have missed and should probably go out and listen to. Seriously, just even download it on-line, it will take you 6 minutes.)

So I have a lot of music. I have always been a fan of music, obsessing over different genres and bands as fads came and went. I worked at a college radio station for the better part of 5 years and lets just say we looked at "borrowing" the music fairly liberally. Before my computer KO'd on me I had somewhere above 15k songs on it, now I host a modest but diverse 6k to go along with my 600-700 albums stacked in the living room. I like to throw the itunes on shuffle and see where it takes me some days and it makes me nostalgic. When these moments happen, well it is time to blog about them. TAYM will dig into my collection on a whenever I feel like it basis and give you the scoop on something I, in my egotistical opinion think you need to know.

The first artist for this topic you've never heard of it. Literally. Like thats the band. Never Heard Of It, or NHOI are California pop-punkers who have been kicking around the docs for the better part of two decades I think, I don't have any facts to back that up, but it feels right. NHOI are truly some of the veterans of the pop punk genre and honestly, Fall Out Boy, Yellowcard, Simple Sucks Plan.. err Simple Plan would not be in existence without the trench work dug by this gang. 11 Days was released in 2004 on Unmotivated Records. Ironically named enough, Unmotivated Records is run by NHOI as they are a powerhouse of a DIY band.

11 Days is laced with the kind of pop and lyrics that really get you through a bad day, stubbed toe, apocalypse, whatever. When Hard Headed hits on track two, you just start singing along by the second round of the chorus, because it is that simple to pick up. Yea, none of these lyrics or hooks are going to rock your world and make you spit on Hendrix's grave, but sometimes baby, toe tappin just has to happen. Where else are you going to find a band who can spew out the lyrics "Shes been acting like a dick and I've been a bitch" while smiling and humming? 11 Days will give you 11 tracks, nearly all of them topping out at the punk standard of 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Stick around after the last song for one of the best bonus tracks ever recorded. EVER. Think Arnold the Governator doing a rap with Danny Devito, for serious. Highlights on the album are Hard Headed, Walkin' Alone, Dead Awake and Satisfied.

Score: 3 out of 5 "I'd be embarrassed if a hot chick pulled up next to my car and heard me listening to this but I know all the lyrics anyway."

Mega Man is a real prick

2008-11-22T22:34:00.005-05:00

Mega Man taunts me. I wrote that Dead Space was scary? How about a tiny 8-bit demon who laughs at you in your sleep? I think my "gamerscore" made me too cocky, or maybe the ease of games these days is to blame, but my 10 year old self would be ashamed. Mega Man 9, the "reboot" of the series on XBLA and PSN is old school hard. Rendered in beautiful 8-bit video and sound, it makes you shrink 2 feet (well for me 0) and act like a kid again. The game triumphantly brings back all the nostalgic habits of your retro gaming past. Button mashing, edge of your seat screaming at the TV, cookies and Mountain Dew... yum. Every Mega Man game to me from 1 to 5, was really just the same. Yea, new bosses or gimmicks, but puzzles run together and themes kind of get stale. It was what it was though and you played for the joy of the familiar. That past day is so old now, it really isn't familiar, but a friend I am happy to reacquaint with now that winter and video game season is setting in.

5 out of 5 "I'm never getting far enough in this game to rate it"'s.

In about a month I'll be writing my top five albums of the year again. I have been pondering what I really liked, what I missed, because honestly I know I've missed a bunch no longer being around radio operations. I try and listen to several different indie feeds and I know when my favorites of the genre are performing anew, but obviously some will slip through the cracks. I need to fill up on a few new tunes before my plane rides this holiday season kick up. Suggestions are much appreciated.

And now, several fractured thoughts from a tired mind: Personally, I am really excited to get home for Thanksgiving. Shit has been weird around these parts lately. I've had struggles at work, however I am in a happier and much more productive mode now. Stress is still high but I think I have evolved and am dealing with it much better than before. Training wheels have rusted off kid. Personal life continues to baffle me. Hockey season ended with a heroic playoff drive and victory, but now I'll be on the shelf for awhile so I can heal my back. And let us just say, outside of "Mickey", boy have I hit a cold streak.. ouch. Guess I need a hair cut. I really wanted to finally move downtown into this loft right next to Camden yard, but nothing was available in the size I wanted; the waiting shall continue. Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind was on to something I think. I would like a cheeseburger. Maybe a coke... eh lets make that a beer. Happy Sat night all.

Karma is an asshole

2008-11-20T09:31:00.002-05:00

Well didn’t this lil man just have an interesting night last night. Per usual, whenever my bad influence comes into town, shenanigans follow. With Korey suggesting this could be one of the last trips he makes to Baltimore, I ventured out for one drink that naturally turned into a few more. What can I say, I need booze to suffer through his dominance of me in all of the bar games we play.

Well fast forward to the Waterfront where we are playing billiards. As I humbly sit aside and watch Korey play some dude, I enjoy sips of Sam’s in between insults about my choice to wear a scarf. It was friggin cold alright? Then out of nowhere, like Wal-mart Wolverine on a price drop, Mickey descended upon me. Mickey can best be summed up as such: Over 40 woman, Iranian decent, decent appearance for her age if you like the skuzzy Balmore type who reeks of smoke and seafood. While draped over my shoulder, sniffing my hair and groping various areas, she informed me we were now pool partners, she was recently divorced, and she was horny.

Now normally I have a great sense of humor, I love when this shit happens to OTHERS, but tonight with the look in Baby Bop and associates’ eyes, I knew I had to suffer through this one for the team. So in between texts about getting man raped and drink after drink to make this situation a little more tolerable, I took solace in the fact that somehow, somewhere, Mike Ford was smiling.

Let us turn focus to the hilaaarious image accompanying this post. Yes my friends, the new Xbox experience is upon us, and my avatar has already bludgeoned Damman’s. This thing might just catch on. I am impressed for the most part. The system seems to run faster, information is laid out in a way which makes sense. I love the Gamertag and Game blades, which show information in an easy system, where before you had to dig through multiple layers to see what achievements could be had and were accomplished.

It will take time to see how it fleshes out in terms of user interaction, but party set up, and avatar games could add a decent Wii like influence to the console. Bravo M$, it took you four years, but you finally have an OS that makes sense.

Gametober Part 2

2008-11-18T20:00:00.004-05:00

Wow! I've been on the blogosphere for 4 days and already I'm my own rating system! Not bad for a weed growing out of the cracks in the internet. As Jason alluded, it is in fact that wonderful time of year when big name games just flood onto the market and extract us from such menial processes as work and school. God bless Christian adaptations of formerly pagan holidays!

Fable 2 - It's worth noting that I played the original Fable, while Jason did not. With that said, some of what he said is true of what to expect. The game tries to give personality to nearly all of the NPCs you encounter by assigning certain attributes to them (prudish, flirty, stuck up, straight, bisexual, gay, ...), it's a neat idea, but very few of them seem to matter worth beans. My main beef is they talk to you way too much. By halfway through the game, I had a flock of followers in every town harping on me to either consummate my existence, or give them a ring so we can "properly" consummate my existence. A lot of the in town chatter you hear walking about is amusing in the whimsical way Fable handles all of it's jokes, but it's all drowned out by the repetitive leaches attending to you. I did like the handful of main characters that were given real dialog. As for the main character, it's not quite fair to critique his/her development through the story as he's supposed to be your avatar. Ya know, it is called a ROLE PLAYING game. If you can connect through the type of blank slate character, the story progression's not bad. Some positive notes: the combat is 1000% better than the first game, the dog offers an amusing companion by not being overdone, and the quirky humor still hits when it's not forced down your ear canals.

Despite that this review is carrying a bit too long, I need to point out the interesting social experiment Fable 2 has presented. When I take on a game like this with all it's moral decision making, I play through the first time as the hero I'd like to be. Given the radical nature of the choices presented, he's usually a pretty virtuous guy. This being Jason's first good/evil game (Mass Effect doesn't count), he sank to levels of vileness I hadn't even thought possible. He bought up entire towns only to jack up the rent on every piece of property, then slaughtered the people for complaining about having nowhere to live. If Lionhead has any means of monitoring in game activity, I'd think he holds the record for fastest trip to pure evil.
Score: 0.6 out of 1 Me *

Dead Space - I haven't played Dead Space and don't think I plan to. With that said, Jason's a wimp and wouldn't hack it on a monster infested space ship.
Score: 1 out of 1 Me for every time it makes him question his sanity *

Gears of War 2 - While Jas and I did beat this in two sittings, it was an effort to do so. The campaign mode is a very solid length. There's a few areas that stretch a little long (particularly some of the vehicle parts), but I think it delivered. The story tries. It falls into a pretty Hollywood groove with a grim side as the game warrants. Same personalities in same situations, enough said. The horde mode will soak up some time (it's basically just non-stop combat in an open level) and I may try to wade through the multiplayer a bit for a change. Prepubescent hate-mongers be damned!
Score: 0.7 out of 1 Me *

Left 4 Dead (Demo) - I hate zombies more than any other person alive. Don't doubt it. Blasting through a city infested with them with three other people who you NEED to depend on is claustraphobic and freaky. I found myself playing the group mom trying to keep everyone on our team clustered together. You just don't know when something will snatch you away to be strangled, clawed, or just overwhelmed by the disgusting horde. Valve did a great job making the team gameplay work and the atmosphere always put you on edge, yet I have to agree with Jason. I don't see the appeal lasting. Unless the different levels offer very different experiences, it looks like a pass.
Score: 0.5 out of 1 Me *

Rock Band 2 - I'm not big on the music game genre. I played a friend's Guitar Hero a few years ago a handful of times (usually with drinking involved) but I was never sold on it's lasting ability. Recorded music is great to rock out to, but learning music to me does not entail memorizing button patterns. Still, I was convinced to pick up RB 2 by another friend so we could play online. Online bands work well, though it would be nice if you could switch instruments without exiting and rejoining. The career mode has lots of options to help keep you progressing, and it's nice that friends can help you along over Live. The guitar play hasn't changed since the first GH, so it's solid. What I really love though is the mic. It feels like just the right difficulty so that if you know a song and can reasonably alter the pitch of your voice, you can do pretty well. I have NO singing experience, and yet I can belt my way through Carry On My Wayward Son on expert. Throw in a hefty track list, endless downloadable content, and Eye of the Tiger, and you've got a winner in my book.
Score: 0.8 out of 1 Me *

Fallout 3, Far Cry 2 and Mirror's Edge to come!

"Masquerading as a man with a reason"

* I had to make an adjustment to the rating system. It just didn't feel right having a possible 5 Damman's running around.

The new eleventh month is Gametober

2008-11-18T15:28:00.009-05:00

Oh it has been a long time since writing. And lo and behold what happens when I venture away from my blog for too long? A Damman goes and grows out of the cracks…

So lately life has been a whirlwind. I suppose when you step away and look at two months in any scenario, it will amount to an excess of thought and feelings, but these two months felt like more. In a situation where you’ve found your life void of security, lacking definition, and where once you felt solid, you are now weak; escapism is a fantastic thing. And so a month where I thought I would lose my job among other things, gave way to the greatest video game month in history. Thank god for virtual worlds.

It began simply enough with Fable II. A fantasy RPG truly allowing you to be someone else, I had a lot of high hopes for this. Driven more than it should have been by the desire to co-play with Damman, I grabbed this one on day of release. The multi-player proved buggier than Castle Crashers and wholly unsatisfying. The game provided a few days of exploration and then I dove into the story and was greeted by the worst character development and ultimate ending I have experienced in a decade. Much was made of this title being the deep, thought provoking game of the year. What it was, is an example of how off track and horrible a game can be when it relies on gimmicks. Here is a hint Lionsgate; Dog equals less than Awesome ending.

Score: Two out of Five Dammans.

That same trip to the store for Fable produced an unexpected purchase. I felt rich that day for reasons I have none. I managed to put down a copy of Armoured Core (for you Canadians) and pick up a copy of Dead Space. As Damman wept over the loss of reality in me rejecting a giant robot game, I dug into the most terrifying experience of my video game life. In all honesty, I never played Silent Hill, Resident Evil, or anything remotely shock inducing, except for maybe Phantasmagoria like 15 years ago. Dead Space kept the lights on for the first few nights, and it hunts me. I sit there now on chapter 5 of 12, not wanting to turn it on. I don’t want to walk down the hallways and look behind me, I don’t want to watch my air run out as I flee baddies, I don’t want to play a game and be scared into finishing it quickly. My gosh though, do I want to see it’s sights, not hear it’s sfx in the volume of space, and feel the design of the world. It is an arty masterpiece, redefining sensory involvement, but at times, it is off track. Judging solely on 6 hours of play, I cannot rate this total experience, but I rate it based on enjoyment … and fear.

Score: Four out of Five Dammans.

Fallout 3 came out in the middle of all of this, and honestly, it is going to be ridiculously awesome. All I have done is escape from the vault and walk out into the nuclear disaster of D.C. and I stopped. I cannot approach this until all else is at rest. I want to be as dedicated to this as I am to my nose.

Score: Five out of Five Dammans for anticipation.

Red Alert 3 is as campy as they get. I bought this for two reasons. My brother and I have a bond going back to before we had a bond when it comes to RTS games. Red Alert seems to have always been there. I remember him first introducing me to the concept when C&C first came out. And then there are the cut scenes. Oh I love the cut scenes. Ironic that last night as Medium and I lay the first campaign to bed, the cut scene is what ultimately KO’d my super computer. Somehow my PC was now convinced that a floppy drive was needed to boot my system. After fixing that little annoyance, I eagerly await claiming the Statue of Liberty back from the Soviets. Spasiba Comrade. The game play may be a bit faster than it should be, and the units are farther from reality than I would have liked, but overall, it is what RA is.

Score: Three out of Five Dammans.

Gears of War 2 is kind of like Nickleback. Frat boys and teenage girls will flock to this one and pollute the message boards and online community with thoughts I do not want to hear. This is the same crowd that forces me to unplug my headset while playing Halo. The quality of story in the media is lacking, but the professional polish is what it is. That all said, Damman and I plowed through this in marathon session part 1 and 2. I enjoyed it greatly and that probably says more about me than I hoped. The story, and ending, leave me kind of chilly, but oh my, does horde mode warm me up. That sir, is not sketch.

Score: Four out of Five Dammans.

Finally, Medium, Damman and I tried out Left 4 Dead last night in 360 demo form, and while I was first overwhelmed with hope and excitement over the promise of this, I left our session dulled. It felt too one dimensional. In a way this was Wolfenstein 3D all over again. I knew where to run, where to point, how to use my one of two guns. Any gimmicks that were there did not save my opinion. I cannot rate it as just a demo, but I think I’ll pass on this one.

And so, the story goes, November became Gametober, and the wallet screamed in agony, while the hearth rejoiced.

The monopoly is over!

2008-11-14T20:51:00.003-05:00

The time of Jason's tyrannical rule over this probably never read blog has come to an end, for Damman has arrived! Ok, granted I have nothing of interest to say, but at least I can contradict whatever nonsense Uckofay's spewing out. Cheers!

-Damman

I have not had Superman Ice Cream since I was six

2008-08-29T12:05:00.002-04:00

This has been a wicked summer, and I think it fittingly ends with a thud on a cloudy, rainy, devoid of plans Labour Day (for you Canadians). I really cannot top canoe trips with old friends, family visits to Baltimore, baseball games that seem to last weekends, parties in Vegas, ocean side relaxation. This was a standard I only wish I could keep.

It has been one year this week since I arrived in the big crab cake from the metro city. My life in a way is what I always wanted and dreamed of as I grew up and slept through college. I work a job that honestly makes time fly and makes me think. I actually find myself pondering it away from work now, which isn’t a bad thing. In my time off, I do all a 20-something male is ever accused of wanting to do; play lots of hockey, go to the gym, go to the bar, and attempt to get my Xbox gamerscore to catch Bill’s. It is a state of perpetual bliss now that if left unattended will recycle itself over the coming years with marginal ease.

Achieving goals one had spent the better part of a decade attempting to obtain always brings about thoughts and reflections of how, why, and if the goals accomplished what they were supposed to in your greater plan of things; if there was one. For me, I see this as an eye of the hurricane moment. I dragged myself through college and grad school and into massive debt most do not know at this age, but I got where I wanted. Through all of that work and all of the impending unemployment conversations I had, a sense of peace pervaded as I knew I would get here, and so here I am. Now I sit waiting. Now I must decide what happens for the next decade and more importantly, the next quarter century.

I find myself with the goals of a middle aged family man oddly enough. I desire a home, a wife, maybe a little Jackson Lee James (as I have already dubbed him). These are no where near my tasks for this upcoming year or years, but long term goals my compass has set its sights on.

Those will be goals which will throw life into continued chaos again, until that blissful day I may retire; if I even choose to. For now I can sit and play, relax, recharge, and enjoy my idle pond mindset. Sure enough there is a giant loogie lofted in my direction that will create a wake that takes all my stored energy to attend to.

Tracks only wash away in the sand

2008-08-08T16:24:00.002-04:00

I love media integration. Web 2.0 is one of the best things I have ever experienced in my life. My blog is the perfect example of this. I am a very OCD kind of person. My CDs are all alphabetized at home, my apartment is usually in a very clean state, and I want to have one (albeit wide) footprint on the internet. I want everything I do to mesh cohesively together. Take a look around.

I have a couple links to the fantasy sports leagues I run and play. I have links to mine as well as all the rest of the 3B guy’s Xbox Live tags. I post my Last FM music tracker. The only things I don’t have integrated are my Facebook and MySpace. The Facebook I toy with adding here, they have a widget much like Xbox has, but as of yet I don’t feel like throwing my full name and social network out there on this, dunno why. On the flip side, this blog is fully hooked into my Facebook, allowing the blog posts to upload automatically to it as well as linking to the blog directly.

This all brings to mind just how rapid a footprint can grow. I started to explain to my Mom over my trip home last weekend that spam can be battled by creating alternate e-mail addresses you never check for things like one time deals and Coke reward points. And that just brings up such a massively important point; your internet footprint is huge.

When I think of everything I’ve been a part of, the list goes on… Facebook, Myspace, Yahoo, Live journal, Absolute Punk, Amazon, Ebay, Gawker net, Last FM, Xbox, ect… Now most of these are defunct and I avoid their begging me to rejoin like the plague, but for those I remain active in, you always feel that anything you do should be relevant to everything you do, no doubt? So the ability of web 2.0 to integrate different internet worlds together through widgets and badges, well that kind of makes the interwebbed world a small place; the same way the internet made the real world a smaller place.

Now the inner OCD in me just has to battle the compulsion to preserve everything I ever create. I still have my earlier web pages saved in a combined 5 MB zip file somewhere in the heart of my computer. This blog? I want to publish it into a table top book so that I may keep it safe if something happens to the internet. The funny thing is, the more I think about preserving footprints and legacies like that, the more I feel it fruitless because after you die, what’s the point? Ah yes, that brings on the next step in my journey, conquering my mortality. It has been suggested I read the book Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! Who has thoughts?

Ode to frequent flier miles

2008-08-05T10:19:00.005-04:00

I have not sculpted the thoughts in my mind into word form in quite some time now. What can I say? She has been a busy busy summer. I truly have had a great and blessed one. Friends coming down to see me, family coming to visit, Tigers baseball in Camden, trips to the ocean and camping. All of it has been masterful fun and produced more than a few memorable pics to hold onto. No the giant floating duck is not one of them, but I liked it so there he sits.

This past weekend I did one of the more spontaneous and ridiculous things I have ever attempted in travel. At 3pm Friday afternoon I decided I was going to suck it up and make it home for a very special engagement party I needed to be in. That party was in like 4 fours, and I was still in Baltimore. Well I bought a ticket, rented a car (love teh inets) and hightailed it to BWI. I made it home to Detroit by 730p and found out that hey, that special party is NEXT weekend.

Well that kind of thing does not deter my spirit! Oh no, for my Mother and Brother whom were enjoying a beautiful weekend at the house in Ludington, had no clue I was in the state, let alone venturing through the night in a lil PT cruiser to come see them. Needless to say they were surprised as I walked through the door and a good time was had by all as I stayed for a short weekend.

You and yours? I hope you are well. Me and mine? Well.. me… I going to get lunch…

PSme?

2008-06-20T12:31:00.003-04:00

OK so thanks to sticky-handed-idiot mechanics, I have no money. I have reverse money. I need to move somewhere a little cheaper than where I live now. That is life though, and I will be better off for finding more affordable living. I will pay my debts off faster, and maybe buy a PS3?

Haha yea right. Ok here we are, a couple years into the console war and I still happily play my 360. I unlike most have not had a RROD occur, and I feel primarily it is because I A) bought a 3rd party fan for it and B) average maybe 1 hour a day if that on it. But here is the deal. On the 360 I have some exclusive games like Halo 3 and Gears of War. On the PS3 there is zero, zilch, nada I am interested in that I cannot have on the 360. Take this CNET list of the top PS3 games out there right now. On that list I think every game, at least the first 7 or 8, are all on the 360 as well.

Yea I know, Metal Gear 4 is exclusive to PS3. Well I just don't care enough to get it. Maybe if something else drew me in that I had to have.. Haze? ahhaa yea sorry I know, big joke. Possibly if Resistance 2 proves deadly, I would ante up to play both of them, but right now? I'll keep passing.

And in the mean time, I really need to stop being so pleased with running down hookers on the sidewalk in GTA4, like a month in and I'm only 60% done with it.

Hey today, Thanks!

2008-06-18T23:41:00.000-04:00

Dear Diary

Today was one of those days that come along once in a long time. They test you and make you think you can take no more; nothing worse can happen to make the level of suck go higher. Now I am not talking family death or home foreclosure kind of bad, but frustrating, gnaw away at the human spirit kind of bad.

It really began Saturday, where my hockey performance was deserving of an F. Blowing a tournament was not something I had planned on doing. Well putting my car in the shop for a $800 repair was also not on my list. No biggie though, these things happen, such is life.

All set to pick up my beloved 6 today, I receive a call informing me that “Hey, thanks for that first wad of cash, but you don't get it fixed until you fork out $1,200 more.” Well that did not please me so much. I put off picking it up to the evening however, so when I received my $800 un-fixed car, I would be that much less fuming.

Well nothing could make me fume more than when I obtained said car, I realized I was dumb enough to leave my Oakleys in the car. And guess what. They be gone. Fantastic, $125 shades stolen. Try as I might, I'll never see those again.

Then I am told I was not getting an interview for the apartment I wanted downtown, and oh hey, don't forget after arriving late to my hockey game tonight because 895 was closed, I got a hockey stick stolen too.

At the end of all of this, I feel beaten, bruised, crushed. I have lost a lot of cash and effort today, my spirit is lessened considerably. But ya know what, life could be so much worse. I lost material things and my spirit grows back. Maturity has set in and I have thankful for that, I am happy for better things to come in future days.

I'd still like my Oakleys back though.

I cannot think of a song with lyrics in it about being twenty-six

2008-06-05T16:34:00.005-04:00

Once a year you spend an entire day accepting well wishes and gleeful comments from friends and family. That day approaches for me at times as if out of nowhere, and I have a unique habit of not actually doing anything on that day, but systematically destroying my liver the night beforehand.

This year was no exception, with Baby Bop and Wesley assisting in my journey towards death by purchasing a unique and overly refined blend of alcohol for my consumption. Not only did I sample at the very least four continents of hops and barley, but the magical Blue Death from Miami made a return and assured my memory would cease to work from 3am on.

Good times were had however, as I can guarantee you will never hear a more faithful rendition of Beat It than as performed by myself with Bop on back-up vocals.

The day of birth itself? What more could I ask for than my spiritual connection to the Detroit Red Wings being even stronger? Not only did the current owning regime purchase the team on the very day of my birth, but our 11th Stanley Cup was awarded on my day this year. I will forever happily share a bond with Cup number 11.

The rest of the day was as I alluded to, uneventful. A free car wash followed by free thunderstorm and tornado warnings; more of the same ol. I did take time and think about what it means when certain people take a moment from their lives to wish you a happy day of birth and others do not. Almost assuredly, like a royal hierarchy, the closest of my companions extended 10 to 15 minutes of their lives to calling me; while an eclectic collection of good friends and others I never would imagine would stop and say hi, blessed me with a Happy Birthday. Probably the most telling event of all would be of the few women in my life I would classify myself as stricken by, not one found the time to say hello. I’ll have to write that one down somewhere.

All in all, special friends and special hockey players made me smile on June 4th. After all, one should feel special. Only about 15 million other people have that day to themselves.

When being older doesn't equal being wiser

2008-05-12T15:13:00.000-04:00

So of the several hockey teams I play for right now, I quit my favorite one yesterday. This is a team that really has failed to live up to its potential, largely due to the quality players on its roster being duped into a bad situation.

Some of the closest friendships I have made in MD came out of pick up hockey with my “Alpha” boys, named after a park we frequent. We were all recruited to play on a team promised to have been middle of the pack the year before, and bringing other good players in to assist us. Well that roughly translated to “A goalie who blows and three guys who hack, whack, and throw sticks but not much else.” Needless to say, despite my boys’ efforts, we ended up 1-2-1 after yesterday’s game and our second game where we should have won.

Now my effort that game was far from my best, and that was the first thing I mentioned post game, but I then also called out the moronic penalties like slew footing, knee to knee hitting, and stick throwing that our “Older veteran” players committed. Well one middle aged stick thrower had enough of my comments then, told me I couldn’t score (leading the team in goals, top 3 in the league), that he had twice the experience I did (20 years in beer leagues does not equate to NARCh, gold level, or college hockey experience) and I had to shut up. Well I did shut up until I walked out, said I quit, and when they played real hockey and not street hockey, I’d come back.

Now I got home, cooled down and immediately sent our captain the text that I was sorry and would see him Sunday. I talked to one of my boys and said I was sorry and would not abandon them, no matter how much I hated the others. Well the brilliant goalie/captain didn’t care and cut me, offering up the nice lie that “The entire team said I had to go.” Well that was nice considering my 4 boys were never asked and immediately petitioned to keep me. I even sucked up all my pride, and said I was sorry, thankfully stopping short of begging. Unfortunately the older “more experienced” guys don’t have humility of their own and chose to let their top scorer go.

Now I feel really bad not because I am off of a last place team, but because I have left my great friends to fend for themselves, and I am unable to help them. To make matters worse, I am in talks to join competing teams. What can I say, the concept of coming back right before the playoffs and lighting that dickhead up in net for 6 goals really sounds good right now.

Sorry Alpha boys, we’ll have our own team next year.

Whats fair in war is not in hockey

2008-05-06T22:04:00.003-04:00

So I had my first game with my second in-line hockey team tonight. I've been having a good spring thus far, a resurgence of my in-line hockey career if you will. Towards the end of my MSU days it all finally clicked for me; I understood how to play better, shoot better and that it wasn't all about speed. It's a complete testament to guys like Mack, Howard and the A team that I improved at all. So moving down here and developing my physique and game every weekend has really made me happy on the rink and I've had at least personal success on the high level talent team even though we're 1-2, and I was set to shine in the beer league tonight.

We had an interesting game, we lost 7-5, and I scored 4 times. I had a pretty shitty game, really shoulda banked 8, but I was not mentally in it tonight and I'm sporting a 13 inch bruise on my thigh from a blocked shot last week. I had fun though, these guys are great beer leaguers, good men, fun to be with. And this is what pisses me off.

The referee comes up to me during the game and invites me to play on his team one level up on Wednesdays. I respectfully say thank you and I would be interested, but I'm really broke and can't afford to pay to play more. He said we'll discuss it after the game. So afterward I walk to the score keeper and ask him to jot my number down for the ref, and he responds "Yea, we need to move you out of this league, it isn't fair." Now this is where I am confused and hope its a communication error. If I'm being told I have to leave so this guy gets me on his team since I won't pay more to play, thats bullshit. We didn't even win this game. Granted I can play much better, but thats not the point. Politics may belong in the NHL or even elite in-line leagues, but not in beer league. When I score 10 and we mercy teams, then you can tell me to leave, don't try and yank me for yourself after 1 game. You'll find me missing the net a lot more than you did in this league if you catch my drift.

I wanna get bruised by you

2008-05-03T15:46:00.004-04:00

I have not had Mountain Dew in like 3 months. I mean seriously, who remembers when I had 3 a day? I wonder if I'll live 15 years longer now. Or maybe I'll be able to have kids. Either way this one tastes pretty good right now.

I just woke up from a nap so this whole rant will be particularly scattered I think. I have been pretty pissed this last week over some trash talked about me back home by ex coworkers, something I didn't provoke or deserve as far as I can figure out. I just don't get it sometimes. Drama never followed me (outside of the girls I dated) so why would this evolve when I left? I don't care too much, I have no real friends at that t-shirt shop so I don't care what they think of me, but motive intrigues me. I don't know if the rumors arise out of boredom, hate, jealousy? The day or two I flipped over it was a waste of energy as so many friends quickly chimed in to assure me on fbook, friends who while I don't talk to them but 3 messages a year digitally, pop in just when I need them and deliver a cyber high five.

Someone made the comment to me this week that I should be proud of being a self made man. I am very proud of where I am, I am very proud of what I have been through and what my "kids so bright we're gonna need shades" future holds. I however am not a self made man at all. I was never wealthy, but I was overrun with positive role models in my life, it was gluttony at best. My parents, brother, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, my best friends, teachers, bosses, teammates, and cats. Seriously, I was taught how to go do the work I must, how to get into and through school, how to develop my skills, get through grad school, and find this job. A self made man has no one and no money, I am a community made man and everything I ever do will be because of them.

Max Bemis can really write songs. I don't know how his brain is wired. Yes he has been hospitalized for mental disorders and flipping out, but whatever drives that also drives his incredible prose. Out of nowhere his lyrics pull u-turns, sharp jabs, or little jokes. I am particularly enamored with the yellow disc out of Say Anything's two disc set, and I think you should be as well.

I was jacking cars when it was still a top down world

2008-05-02T13:24:00.003-04:00

Actually my little brother introduced me to the GTA series back when we played video games in his blotchy grey carpeted room, on his little PS1. The glory days of top down car stealing goodness were bliss. How could you imagine the real 3D, damn near philosophically correct version we would be playing now in GTA 4?

I picked it up yesterday, snagging the second to last xbox copy Best Buy had (plenty of PS3 ones abound) and went home to play. I had soon decided this was the best game ever. How soon? I wasn't even done with the opening cinematic sequence. The art and sound design was already bigger than Iron Man will be today. R* just has class when creating.

Now I am not going to review the game, I am not a review site. If you want professional opinions on it, go read the 4 month long coverage Kotaku gave it. What I will do is assure my mother that she was one of the good parents, and these violent games make me giggle like a school girl yes, but they do not turn me into a chainsaw wielding cop killer because I was given common sense at a young age. And second, I want to push all of you to buy it because its awesome and I would enjoy playing cops n crooks with you like I did Billy Bop last night.

Trust me, you'll be seeing the lil IV icon over there on my Xbox Live tag for many a month coming up.